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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Going to festival with no form of contact

62 replies

sirmione16 · 26/05/2019 23:13

My dp went to a festival approx 3 hours away today, realised when he got there he didn't get signal inside. We have a 4 month old baby. He argues it's out of his control and I'm overreacting being upset. I argue that he should've found a place where he got signal, let me know the situation and perhaps an emergency contact number for the venue, and maybe check in once or twice throughout the day. I don't think this is unreasonable, and it upsets me he's just gone "oh well I can't get signal, never fucking mind I'll go get a drink" I haven't heard from him since he arrived at 11am, until he left at 10pm. Not an apology or anything. AIBU? Am I over reacting? How would you feel?

OP posts:

RusholmeRuffian · 27/05/2019 18:48

If he was at Slam Dunk, I can confirm there was zero signal all day. I got about a million texts on the way home.

PotsOfJoy · 27/05/2019 18:58

Reckon he switched his phone off and says no reception so he can take drugs in peace. Classic trick. Has he got form for drugs? What about his friends? Check his wallet and his trousers now, don't ask him first. If he gets cagey, you know you're right.

FizzyGreenWater · 27/05/2019 18:59

You aren't overreacting because the signal thing isn't really the problem.

It's the age old story:

I feel like I'm raising my son alone and he's just popping by for play time some evenings!

Bottom line - shape up, or ship out. If you're doing it more or less alone, you might as well actually be doing it alone, so that the baby will know nothing else apart from its parents not being together and you'd actually get proper time off when he had contact.

He doesn't get to play at parenting.

Tell him, and mean it.

Mowly75 · 27/05/2019 23:19

PotsOfJoy you are anything but

WinkyWoo3 · 27/05/2019 23:34

I think you’re overreacting about today. But the wider issue is how much he seems to prioritise his own pursuits over time with you and his baby

QueenofPain · 27/05/2019 23:38

Can you imagine if every festival had to provide an emergency contact for people’s wives and husbands to get in touch?

QueenofPain · 27/05/2019 23:45

As PP mentioned Slam Dunk, absolutely no signal and pissed it down for the whole bloody day, he was probably reluctant to even leave one of the big tents, never mind traipsing round for a signal. Simply not practical, however, for huge events like that to be taking any responsibility for providing an emergency contact method for literally thousands of people.

All the other stuff about his working hours and the bloody football three nights a week is taking the piss though.

Curiousmum69 · 27/05/2019 23:48

I just spent 5 days at a festival with no signal. It was bliss bring out of contact and mum mode for a few days. I got home my OH ran me a bath made me a cup of tea and asked if I had a good time.

Curiousmum69 · 27/05/2019 23:56

Or he had no signal and Op reaction is due to the fundimental deeper issues within their relationship.

Curiousmum69 · 27/05/2019 23:56

Oh also no signal at shindig

FuckMNDoubleStandards · 28/05/2019 00:06

Yes you're being unreasonable, how on earth is he to blame for the signal problems? He's gone to enjoy an event surely you can just let that be? You can catch up with him when he comes home. I don't understand this need to be in constant contact. You know there's no signal - you accept it like an adult.

Honestly, these sort of posts can be so ridiculous at times. You are entitled to enjoy your life just as much as he is, you need to find your balance but making issues out of nothing is what is ridiculous. You'll barely ever find sound advice here as many tell you to leave the man over the most petty things.

Talk to one another, just because you have had a baby it does not mean your life suddenly stops, you can absolutely do your own things and it is healthy to do so. What you need to do is share the responsibilities and find a balance. If you don't want to go to certain places or do things alone, that is your call, but if your partner does he is allowed to do so. It's all about you both sharing the burden.

But back to this point, yes you are being unreasonable, let it go.

NiceViper · 28/05/2019 11:37

Have you actiralky RTFT, doubkestandards

Seem that this was a tip of the iceberg issue?

And that OP has asked for (and received support and advice on) the significant issues?

Or did this just read the first part of the opening post and shoot from the hip? In your words - 'It's all about you both sharing the burden'. You seem to have missed the bulk of the thread where this issue is quite carefully explored. Because that is exactly where the real issue lies and it is definitely something that needs tackling. Straightaway, before it takes root as an intractable and pretty miserable pattern

OP: did you manage to have the time to talk as you planned yesterday? If so, did you manage to raise all the things you wanted to?

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