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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

settle a argument please,i think im right

119 replies

tor8181 · 25/05/2019 20:07

hi settle a disagreement please that my sister and me are having, i think im right

an incident happened to my nieces friends mother last week(shes 6),she took her (small)5 y old to the supermarket(5mins away) without a seat and a passing police car stopped her and gave a fine

my sister thinks we are now going to get stopped as my 8 yold isnt in a seat my argument is hes way to big and its not needed

hes not 9 till end of july hes very very big for just 8 hes 125-130 pounds and 5ft 1 or 2 already(medium bottoms, large tops size 6 shoe)hes not fat just pure solid everywhere he even needs adult gloves

hes never been in a car seat ever as one was never needed as we used to bus every where(he was either in my arms or walked on) or walk and we got a taxi on the odd occasion,then he used to be in a seat belt,we even left the hospital as a newborn in a taxi and he came home in my arms(i know laws have changed in nearly 9 years)

hes been massive since birth(8lb 10 26 inches)and was always in clothes years bigger than his age,6-9 m at birth and it went up and up from there

we got a full time car(his dad passed) just over 2 years ago(son was a few months off 7) and when i googled it he was taller and weighed more than the limit so i never bought one,we have been everywhere in it since then,holidays 2-3 hours away every 6-8 weeks(we love our caravan holidays),day trips out, daily outings shoppingswimming cinema etc and hes never had a problem as he sits in the back with me with the best on properly and his feet touch the floor and the belt rests on his collar bone

my nephew is 6 months older than him, hes small for his age(well way smaller than mine anyway) 4ft 2 or 3 and 60-65 pounds hes been in a car seat from birth and still in a full seat(booster with a back)with plenty of room either side of the seat,his feet still dont touch the floor

my sister thinks that as mine is under 12 he should be in a seat anyway as thats the law but my argument is hes not 8y old sized and we are unusual circumstances as hes classed as a small adult due to size and has been for years,he looks 12 or 13 and if a police man spotted him he would think that as his head comes up way past the window and on the head rest

when we tried my nephew seat without the back his bum and lower body was wider than the seat and it pinched into his skin

i showed her the info on google and shes adamant he still need it as it says under 12 but im right aint i? as hes so big and it pointless as on a seat his head wasnt far off the ceiling

settle a argument please

OP posts:
MadamMMA · 25/05/2019 20:29

I’m 5ft 1 and don’t sit in a car seat

chickhonhoneybabe · 25/05/2019 20:29

Ok I stand corrected about the law for car seats in taxis, it seems stupid they are exempt as they aren’t exempt from having accidents...

LindsayDenton · 25/05/2019 20:30

The OP said in her post that she got a taxi with her newborn from the hospital, which have different car seat laws.

dirtystinkyrats · 25/05/2019 20:31

My son was 9lb 11oz at birth and was in 0-3 month clothes, so not sure a much lighter newborn could go straight to 6-9 months unless he was really really long and thin.

However he has just had his 8th birthday last week and he is over 135 and has been for 6 months or so so quite possible a nearly 9 year old is well over the height limit. In DS' case though he still uses a HBB as he isn't big enough to safely use an adult belt without - which is about where the belt is positioned on his hips and neck/shoulder so varies a bit between cars. Legal and safe is not the same.

TeddybearBaby · 25/05/2019 20:32

He’s a similar size to me tbh. So I can’t imagine he’d need to be in a car seat and if you’ve checked the safety aspect and are happy then trust your own judgement. You could take him someone that sells them and ask for expert opinion though I guess........

titchy · 25/05/2019 20:35

No to the car seat. Yes to the diet - your child is not 'solid' he's obese. He's tall because obese children grow in height far quicker than they should.

TrashPanda · 25/05/2019 20:35

I'm 5ft2 and probably at least a stone lighter than your son, He definitely doesn’t need a car seat.

sonjadog · 25/05/2019 20:37

The child is 8 years old. What she did with him when he was a new born traveling home is over and done with 8 years ago. What's the point in focusing on it now?

arethereanyleftatall · 25/05/2019 20:38

Well I drive a car and am shorter and weigh less than him, without a booster. He's fine, the rules are 135cm, or around 10 for an average sized child.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 25/05/2019 20:39

hes not fat just pure solid everywhere

No lovely, he is overweight and you need to address it quickly poor kid.

Alsohuman · 25/05/2019 20:40

He’s the same size as me. I’d like to see someone try and put me in a car seat.

Aspergallus · 25/05/2019 20:41

OP quite frankly, you’ve posted a load of utter nonsense, haven’t you? An 8lb baby, even a 10lb baby won’t have gone home from hospital in 6-9 month clothes.

9 years isn’t that long ago. I have a child the same age and awareness of car seat rules was just as high then. I am very surprised that you were comfortable going home with your baby in your arms without a car seat, even though it is legal.

Previous posters are right though, if he is over 135cm, he doesn’t need a car seat regardless of age. I’d measure though, since the rest of your post sounds like guesswork and exaggeration.

Original poster
tor8181 · 25/05/2019 20:43

thanks guys i knew i was right and about the newborn in a taxi thing

it might be different as im valleys of south wales and there is only one hospital around for miles but i got the discharged papers and my partner just walked out with him in his arms,hospital was that busy midwives didnt check anything just said do you have your meds(yes)said goodbye and carried on their work

we got outside got in to a taxi at the rank 5 mins from the hospital(it wasnt booked just a normal rank)

i asked him do we need a seat? as we just got discharged and we dont drive so didnt buy one as it was not needed,he said if i had one then fine but taxis dont come under the same laws as cars so just get in so we did

even years later when we did get taxis a seat was never mentioned

i knew many in our local village(hospital was over a hour away)that either did the same as me or got a bus home with the baby in a pram or a few in arms

Drogosnextwife he was 8lb10 and at 26 inches he was that long he needed the bigger size for length

i also write as i talk and as i love to talk my posts or replys are always long

OP posts:
HelpAFattieOutHere · 25/05/2019 20:45

An 8lb baby, even a 10lb baby won’t have gone home from hospital in 6-9 month clothes

My DS is big at 6 months, 22lbs and 74cm long and has only just grown out of his 6-9 month clothes

AbbyHammond · 25/05/2019 20:45

You are right, he doesn't need a car seat.

It was also perfectly legal to take him in a taxi without a car seat.

However, your child is massively obese, his BMI is off the charts!

He is the same height and over a stone heavier than me, and I am an adult.

You need to get a handle on his weight and health urgently.

Alsohuman · 25/05/2019 20:46

OP, please ignore the nasty obesity comments. MN’s obsessed with it.

Merryoldgoat · 25/05/2019 20:46

An 8lb baby, even a 10lb baby won’t have gone home from hospital in 6-9 month clothes.

This.

I had an 11lb baby who was 24inches long and could still fit in the odd 0-3 month item at birth but the biggest he needed was 3-6 month.

SunshineCake · 25/05/2019 20:47

Taxis can still crash. Law or not. You've been very lucky.

Passthecherrycoke · 25/05/2019 20:48

To be fair, the 6-9 months clothes thing is about the babies length according to OP, not weight (which is perfectly average)

However if he really was 26 inches that’s the average length of a 6month old and 4-6inches longer than the average newborn so it is possible although seems weird- he weighted so little he must’ve been like a runner bean

Passthecherrycoke · 25/05/2019 20:49

Oh c’mon sunshine most non drivers don’t buy a car seat for 1 taxi journey. That’s partly why they’re exempt!

Alsohuman · 25/05/2019 20:50

Massively obese? I’ve just checked, his BMI is smack in the middle of the healthy range.

LarryGreysonsDoor · 25/05/2019 20:51

5ft 1 at 8 years old?
He’s going to be a giant.

DistanceCall · 25/05/2019 20:52

My 12 yo DS is 6ft 2.

SURELY you mean 5ft 2???

BertieBotts · 25/05/2019 20:52

Legally no you don't need a car seat in a taxi however this law is for practical reasons (too complicated to legislate driver/parent interaction, essentially), taxis aren't magically safe or exempt from crashes. If you did crash in a taxi with a child under 3 (so too young to be in a seatbelt) there's a high chance they would die, even a very low speed impact.

If your 8yo is over 135cm in height (About 4 foot 5) then legally he doesn't need a car seat. A 5 year old almost definitely will need one. You might be right that police may wave off a child who is borderline near the height limit, but it would have been clear your niece was far too young to be without one.

It would cost you about £2 to look on FB/gumtree/freecycle and get a backless booster for your 8yo, they take up hardly any room, are easy to carry around and would ensure that the seatbelt fit him better if you ever were to be in a collision. And you won't risk any fines. Does the seatbelt tend to rub his neck? If it does that would be a sign it isn't fitting him very well and he'd be better off on a booster seat at least.

I think police are recently beginning to crack down on this as car seat use is very lax especially among older kids, which is a shame. It's not just a money making scheme, it really does make a difference to injury and death rates in accidents. I read the other day that most people experience a car crash on average once every 20-25 years, which means about half of kids are likely to experience one before they're of an age to sit legally (in the UK) without any kind of car seat. It's not really a remote risk, it's worth doing.

BertieBotts · 25/05/2019 20:53

My "baby" brother was 6 foot at 12 Shock he really is a giant. He didn't grow much more than that though. He is 16 now.