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AIBU?

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Original poster

To open a "gofundme" page for my son's sporting events?

76 replies

Nothavingfunrightnow · 25/05/2019 14:39

My son is very dedicated to a particular sport. It is highly unlikely he'd be an Olympic champion or anywhere near that level, but he loves taking part. He goes to trading 3 to 5 times a week.

There are two residential training camps in the summer he can attend (he has been specifically invited by his coach to attend one of them) and I would dearly love him to be able to go.

I do not have the funds for it and neither does his father. I could get some of the money for it, but not all. Would it be unreasonable of my to open a gofundme account? Is that being grabby in a world where many, many people have far less than my son and I do?

OP posts:
Looneytune253 · 25/05/2019 15:03

Wow please don't. That's awful!!

BeerandBiscuits · 25/05/2019 15:03

YABU.
If my mother had done this when I was a child I'd have been mortified.

Balootoyoutoo · 25/05/2019 15:04

A friend's daughter got invited to an overseas sports competition that was going to cost a lot of money to attend. She contacted school and asked to borrow their hall one Friday evening, and arranged a disco. Sold tickets for a few quid, plus sold popcorn and glow-lights etc, on the night, to raise money. It was great fun, and, I imagine, raised a good chunk of the cash needed. Would this work for you?

krustykittens · 25/05/2019 15:04

So your son isn't good enough to do this sport at a high level, he is just doing it for fun? Nothing wrong with that but why one earth would complete strangers donate for your son to do a fun thing? I certainly wouldn't. There is nothing actually wrong with telling your children that you cannot afford certain things either, I don't think it is healthy for kids to grow up thinking their wants will always be met and put first and that parents will always find the money, somehow, for luxuries. If these camps run every year then perhaps you and his dad could save for next year and relatives could give cash toward it? But in answer to your original question, yes, I would view it as being grabby. There are kids living below the poverty line in this country going without basics, but I appreciate you are already aware of this. Don't feel bad that you can't afford everything your son hankers after, OP, you are not the only one in this situation. Both my kids are into a rather expensive sport, which means no holidays and strict budgeting over things like cinema trips, new clothes and eating out. They can't have it all and they have grown to appreciate this.

HugeBowlofChips · 25/05/2019 15:06

Are there other funding options? My daughter plays music at an elite/ national level and there are substantial bursaries available for the residential courses, although they have to be applied for months in advance. Something to think about for next year?

LastChanceFinalOffer · 25/05/2019 15:06

Speak to the Coach. If your DS is being invited he must be good. Could the club subsidise the shortfall? It would humiliate your DS if his friends found out about the GoFund me page. It can be a very valuable life lesson to your DS about living within your means.

BanginChoons · 25/05/2019 15:07

If you are on a low income, you could perhaps contact the organisers to see if there is any funding available to make it accessible for those from disadvantaged backgrounds.
Other that that, I would just opt in for one of them.

Gitfeatures · 25/05/2019 15:07

Who do you foresee contributing to this?

Askma · 25/05/2019 15:08

There are specific pages on Facebook for this sort of thing, where you can effectively just beg for money because you want it (or need it). You could look them up? Something like "give me your money" I think? I wouldn't have the balls to ask people to pay for things for me but lots of people do.

SoyDora · 25/05/2019 15:08

Who do you imagine would contribute?

SoupDragon · 25/05/2019 15:08

When I was young if you couldn't afford something or family couldn't chip in you didn't go. You didn't go begging.

How old is he? Can he do jobs to earn the money?

nc100 · 25/05/2019 15:09

A residential training camp suggests teenager to me. He can pot wash at a restaurant/cafe at the weekends, walk dogs, paper round.

It'll set him up for the real world much better than expecting other people to fund him

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 25/05/2019 15:09

If he has a birthday coming up or something, I would definitely do it. Likewise, if he has grandparents, aunts and uncles etc who are only looking for a way to give without awkwardness, go ahead.

I wouldn't be expecting strangers/colleagues/neighbours to give, but l don't think it's a cheeky thing to try.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 25/05/2019 15:10

If you can’t ask people in person then they aren’t people you should be asking for money.

Someone I know has done exactly this and sent me an “invitation” to donate on FB. She sees me in the playground every day and yet never acknowledges me. But feels fine asking me to pay for her sons travel expenses to do his hobby? Hmm

Aprillygirl · 25/05/2019 15:11

There are lots of things my kids want that I can't afford to give,so I would certainly not be donating to yours OP sorry. Try busking

AnyFucker · 25/05/2019 15:11

Grim

Pearlfish · 25/05/2019 15:11

I'm afraid I wouldn't consider contributing to this. Yes it's unfair that your son can't afford to go and others can, but there are too many other good causes to donate to. A friend of mine is currently raising money to fund her 14yo son's cancer treatment Sad

LL83 · 25/05/2019 15:13

I think because everyone can see it but only close friends and family likely to donate I wouldn't. I would donate to neighbours or Facebook friends if there was a tragedy such as house fire or illness. Not sports camp so I dont think gofundme will get any more money than just asking people close to you. And depending on childs age may cause embarrassment.

I would set up a WhatsApp group to those who normally give him a birthday gift and ask if they would be willing to contribute to this instead. Reaches the same audience but more private. Depends how much it costs though if it's an amount you will never get from close friends and family I wouldn't bother.

BikeRunSki · 25/05/2019 15:14

I have seen people do this, but have never felt comfortable donating. I suspect most people unless really close are the same.

I have to agree with this. A family with a child at dd’s school did this. A couple of years earlier the mum had made a big deal about giving up work to “facilitate and nurture her child’s talent” (ie take him training every night). Then the dad was made redundant. Thing is, my children would probably be better at their sports and hobbies if they trained for several hours a few times a week), but I can of feel that financial independence and self respect trumps that.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 25/05/2019 15:16

How old is he? Old enough to do odd jobs and make money? Old enough for a part time job? This is what ds done when he needed money for a school holiday, and what I done when I went skiing with the school.

Sorry OP I would see it and think grabby family, do it like the rest of us had too🤷🏻‍♀️

HJWT · 25/05/2019 15:16

I only donate on those pages to children with illness' that really need the donation.

Original poster
Nothavingfunrightnow · 25/05/2019 15:17

Thank you, everyone. I agree that is it distasteful and I won't be doing it. I will look at other ways to raise funds, and thank you for the very good ideas that some of you have proposed. I appreciate it.

OP posts:
Robinthecaveman · 25/05/2019 15:18

Aprillygirl DDs friend raised all the money needed to go in a school sports tour by busking each weekend in a nearby (very prosperous) town.

I think this is a really good opportunity for your DS to work towards something he really wants to do - saving all pocket money, an advance on birthday/Christmas presents (in the form of cash gifts), a Saturday job if he’s old enough, washing cars, cutting lawns, doing odd jobs for neighbours, jumble sales, selling stuff on eBay etc.

For many of us not having enough money to do things we really want to do is just life and finding ways to be resourceful and being able to save is a really amazing skill to have in life. I really hope he can get to go.

JeanieJardine55 · 25/05/2019 15:19

Why don’t you speak to the coach and see if there’s any funding available or the possibility of a reduction of fees for less well off families. He may know of funds that could give a grant towards it or does your son have any outgrown toys or clothes he/you could sell to raise funds. My son is very musical. He wanted to go to a week long course last year and so asked for money towards this for his birthday and we were able to find the rest by selling bits. This year I’m scouring the shops for “reduced to clear” food items and making budget meals to put something aside as he wants to go again. I wouldn’t start a go fund me page but some people do!

GreenTulips · 25/05/2019 15:20

There may be some lottery sports funds avaialabe

Look at local sports charities they can help

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