to think you don't let your kid shoot people in the supermarket?

[DonkeyHohtay]

Busy Saturday morning in the supermarket. Boy of about 8 with his Dad. Dad busy filling his basket and behaving perfectly normally.

Boy has a large, black plastic gun. Rifle type rather than a pistol (I'm not a gun expert). Boy is holding gun up to his shoulder, looking down the length of it, pointing it at people and saying "bang bang you're dead". When boy pointed it at me I said - perfectly politely - "Please don't point that at me, I don't like guns".

Father looked at me as if I had grown two heads.

AIBU to think that the supermarket on a busy morning isn't the place for toy guns??

Full disclosure - I'm not a gun fan. Although who is. My kids have in the past had those large "Nerf" type guns which are bright orange and could never be mistaken for a real one. The rules were always that shooting the little foam things at people was not allowed. The had hours of fun in the garden trying to hit a tree or something. This wasn't a gun like that. It was a toy gun, but a black one made to look like the real thing.

AIBU to be a wee bit shocked and think this was completely inappropriate?

Oh yes, forgot the pirate swords. My kids had those when young. None have grown up to become pirates or sword enthusiasts either.

I think it's horrible OP, sorry this happened to you.

My kids have toy swords,knifes,guns,Pretend eye patches,light sabres
It’s really a nonissue

My kids also used to have a large empty cardboard boxes which became boats, spaceships, racing cars etc. None of them grew up to be a sailor, astronaut or a racing driver.
To link toys with becoming a criminal or committing crimes is daft.

I think letting a child take a toy gun out in this day and age is odd. Not least because there is always a chance they will be tasered/shot or whatnot by police or another nutter with a gun

Absolute rot.made up.knee jerk alarmist rot.

Armed Response police are highly trained. Exactly How many 8year old UK children have been shot by armed response police in UK?....LONG PAUSE.......

It's a little boy playing, it wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest.

I don't like real guns, but I just don't really see the connection. Many little boys go through a phase of loving cowboys or policemen and grow up to have absolutely no interest in real guns.

Many wee girls go throw pirate,police phase with guns and knifes
Oh and all mine like WWE, lots of pillow as weapon and fighting

I really don't like toy guns, I don't see why normalising guns and shooting people is ok.

I have a friend who has ptsd and various mh conditions after his time in the armed forces. He can't be in small spaces, crowds or anywhere where there isn't a clear exit (can't go into a primark or a lift for example), if a child did that to him it wouldn't be a polite 'no thanks' they got. It's not that uncommon either, there are lots of people who have trauma from violence.

I don't think the OP was unreasonable, and what she said was perfect. Clear and calm. Certainly not ott.

PTSD is a debilitating condition
However it doesn’t mean that no child can play with a gun or make a sudden loud noise just in case someone is affected
A lot of the treatment around ptsd is a acknowledging and managing triggers. As others individual cannot know or necessarily be mindful to what is triggering for someone else

In the US, being shot is the second highest cause of death for children / under 18s. The second highest.
edition-m.cnn.com/2018/12/20/health/child-gun-deaths-rising/index.html?r=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.co.uk%2F

All school children in America have to do shooter drills, and a not insignificant number will have to use that training.

Someone (adult or child) is shot by a toddler on average once a week in America
www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/09/29/american-toddlers-are-still-shooting-people-on-a-weekly-basis-this-year/?utm_term=.7e5a8d68fb1f

Professionally offended? This “harmless game” is pretend shooting and killing people. We talk a lot about toxic masculinity and the fact that male violence is disturbingly common, and simultaneously allow boys to play at killing people. I’m not sure what’s worse - pretending to kill your siblings or random strangers in a supermarket... neither is great as an example of pretend play though is it?

I once saw some kids who lived nearby playing in the street and they were getting very heated - I chatted to them quite often and I asked what they were playing, they said “going to court”. It crushed me.

Why is anyone buying their kids tools to act out imaginary violence? It’s so bizarre.

My parents escaped to the west from a country behind the iron curtain when I was 5 and my siblings were 9 and 4. We all have memories of that night and being chased by men with guns and being shot at. My brother was hit in the shoulder and it still causes him pain now, ever 40 years ago.

As a consequence of that we all grew up with a fear of guns because we had faced the real thing and known the fear of being shot and shot at. It is not unreasonable in this country to expect to go to a supermarket without having ones greatest fears and terrifying experiences triggered. There is no need for any child to be playing in the aisles, let alone with a gun.

@DonkeyHohtay you do realise that the minute your back is turned your kids fire their nerf guns at each other don't you? Rather than at trees in the garden. Seriously though I am not sure a kid should have a any toy in the supermarket that makes them get under your feet. That said, DS would have shot you with a cucumber or maybe would have been light sabering with a roll of foil if I hadn't kept him under control!

Why is anyone buying their kids tools to act out imaginary violence? It’s so bizarre.

It’s not imaginary violence. You’re imposing adult sensibilities & rationale to children playing. A lot of children playing is actually about boundaries, trust and affirmation. Testing those out, making bonds (youre in my pirate crew) and having fun.

Children playing with gun,knife,sword It is not comparable to the violent emotionally charged situation of adults engaged in violence

Don’t superimpose your adult behaviour and cognition onto a child

I thought any toy/bb gun that looks at all real n had to have a red tip - or other garish colours- to save swat team being called out and potentially shooting the little darling!

As long as the little boy wasn't Black, it's ok....

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Tamir_Rice

I thought any toy/bb gun that looks at all real n had to have a red tip - or other garish colours- to save swat team being called out and potentially shooting the little darling!

The OP says the gun had a red tip on the barrel.

*It’s not imaginary violence. You’re imposing adult sensibilities & rationale to children playing. A lot of children playing is actually about boundaries, trust and affirmation. Testing those out, making bonds (youre in my pirate crew) and having fun.

Children playing with gun,knife,sword It is not comparable to the violent emotionally charged situation of adults engaged in violence

Don’t superimpose your adult behaviour and cognition onto a child*

What absolute bollocks. It’s a gun. You point a toy gun at someone and they pretend to die. You pretend to kill them. Nothing like being in a pirate crew.

In America, some children then take actual guns and shoot other children and / or adults.

If children don’t have the ability to understand what shooting a gun and death are, they shouldn’t be encouraged to play at those things. Your argument makes it worse, not better.

Just told DH about this thread, his response was that young kids do not have the strength, coordination, or the attention to operate handguns and rifles effectively. They are better suited to crew served weapons such as heavy machine guns and mortars

The alleged assailant was also an 8year old in Waitrose
I’d suggest he may not have been a near and active threat to public

@Backwoodgirl. Give your DH a high five from me

The only acceptable reaction is to dodge to the side, point finger guns at the kid and shoot him back shouting "pew-pew-pew".

Ywbu

Apologies if someone else has made the same point, have skimmed the thread, but at every primary school I’ve worked at there’s been a no guns/no pretend shooting at people policy. I think such play is fine at home or elsewhere, if it is not bothering or affecting other people.

I loved pretend war games at home with siblings/cousins as a child, but as a PP has said, allowing your child to pretend shoot an adult in the supermarket is intrusive and therefore rude. It’s not the same as going around with a toy wand and saying ‘expelliarmus’ (spelling) or other imaginary play, like waving a pretend light sabre or being a unicorn etc etc

Sink, do you understand children and adults are different
Emotionally,cognitively and behaviourally.different judgements
A child in possession of a play gun is absolutely not comparable to an adult with a gun
Different processes,emotions,decision making

For children,toy gun,knife,sword is pretend play.all about boundaries,affirmation,trust. Totally nonviolent

For adults,a gun,knife,is a critical loss of control and not about trust