To ask what you have left over after bills?

[Tulips1234]

I’m sorry if this has already been discussed. I’ve just done a budget calculator as I have gone back part time after having dd. I’m worse off than I planned due to dp contributing less than we agreed to the household (that’s another thread), and I have £380 to live on a month. This is after all the bills go out but not including clothes (for me and dd) and the day to day stuff that always crops up. Does this sound doable? I know to some people it may be a lot and but it just doesn’t allow for unexpected things like the washer breaking etc. Does anyone have any tips for living on a small amount or is it not actually that bad?

Honestly, I don’t think you’re in a position to go part-time. Your boyfriend isn’t contributing so please don’t slash your income and pension potential to offset his childcare costs.

Stay working, stay financially independent.

About £500 after bills, food, fuel.

I know, I need more hours at work really after thinking it through. I just wanted to know how doable it was and whether this amount was ‘the norm’ and I’m out of touch. I tried explaining how much I was saving him in childcare but he wouldn’t appreciate it until he had to pay I don’t think.

You know this isn’t ok, don’t you OP?

Agree with @merryoldgoat x

I’m starting to realise. Before Dd came along we had pretty much the same wage and now it’s completely unequal, yet I’m the one who pays for everything and takes responsibility. I’m sure I would be worse off if we split though.

How do the conversations go when you’ve talked about it in the past?

Around 3k after bills/food/travel passes car etc.

If you have a child together, you shouldn’t be the one to feel the pinch. There needs to be a fairer system..

Haven’t seen your other thread but your partner should definitely contribute more!

If you are struggling finding stuff to do with dd when you are off, local park? Children's centre / free baby groups (or ones that cost £1)... you have probably already thought of these genius (not) ideas. But thought I would just chuck them out there.
Is dd walking yet? Mine is a similar age and I find that just walking anywhere a) knackers her out and b) she absolutely loves it, exploring and so on...

Dd is both of your responsibility therefore outgoings (the house, food, bills etc) should be pooled together.

Any income from him, you, benefits, pool together.

Anything spare is split between you and/or saved/spent based on joint decision by you both

You need to get on the same page.

Why are you thinking this is ok?

You living hand to mouth and him to burning money on takeaways is NOT ok

Also have you registered for tax free childcare? That saves a bit.

Also, I had the same arguments etc with my ex. And in the end (along with the physical abuse of when I asked him to pay a bill or whatever, along with the big reveal that he had quite a serious coke habit that meant his money was going on that, I genuinely had no idea and felt like an absolute prat from a while after finding that out!), ended our relationship, and I find it easier, even though I am extremely poor, I am tiding us over on my savings. Saves the stress I had of wondering if he was going to pay a bill, or contribute, or whether I was going to be fined for a late payment etc.

You might be worse off financially op but the resentment that will be build from the inequality and living with a cocklodger will eventually mean you end up hating him. Have you worked out if you'd get any entitlements and maintenance should you choose to kick the fucker out end the relationship?

Well I've just drawn up the budget for next month for us and we have £50 'spare' money to cover any clothes, treats e.g. ice cream or drink out, bottle of wine at home, extra petrol when we drive three hours to meet new niece... But I have already taken out food budget, mot, breakdown cover which needs renewing next month, and tobacco (both me and dp smoke). We do regularly save £100 into an easy access account though, which is then used for house/car repairs and unexpected expenses and, once in a blue moon, holidays. I budget £50 a week for all food and groceries, that includes toiletries and cat food. I don't get hair cuts. My daughter's 3 but I have always got huge bags of hand me down clothes from her older cousin so only have to buy her shoes...

On a regular month we have maybe 100-150 left over as spends? Often a chunk of it is spent on extra petrol to go visit someone, presents for family, then a few drinks at home or out with husband and we set a £10 budget for a weekend 'treat' for the family - ice cream at beach, soft play, swimming. Most f what I do with DD is free. I think it's fully worth it being poor to be with DD. But I did start matched betting on the side in January and I'm going to have to crack on again to fund next month since we're so short...

At the end of the month, after all expenditure, we have between £200 and £800 left over to carry forward.

Including phone contracts and transport etc? I have about £500 and DP has about £1,500.

He's in finance, I'm in creative - we're both 24.

Just under £2k but that’s for food, fuel etc.

We set a semi strict budget of £180 per week for food, fuel etc but most weeks we tip over. We’re trying to keep my wage aside for paying off a credit card but generally all the treats come out of my wage.

We don’t save but do overpay the mortgage by almost 50% so I class that as saving

£570 to include food, petrol and every other day to day expense such as clothes, books etc., but after all regular bills are paid. That's just for me, though.

For god's sake once again a useless excuse for a human is not fulfilling his duties as a partner or a parent! I'd sit him down and enlighten him on how much child support would be costing him them throw him out on his ass

It doesn't really matter what we all have does it? The main issue is your partner! This is ridiculous, you need to speak about it again and again until he listens. Why put yourself in a bad financial position when he doesn't? Be very careful!

About £700 between us after everything is paid for. We put most of that into savings though and hardly ever buy things for ourselves like new clothes, eating out etc. We don’t have kids and only have 1 car between us and a small mortgage. I can imagine things would be a lot tighter if none of that applied

If you’re needing to buy food out of that it’s not spare.

This sounds like a shit situation for you. Your DP is a disgrace. Can you check on turn2us to see what you’d be entitled to if you split? And do the child maintenance calculator.

About 3k after everything has been paid.

Wasn't always that way though, we've had some very lean times in the past, living massively in the overdraft.

Don’t really think that the amount of money you have left is that bad tbh.
Your problem is your useless fucking DP.
Bet you won’t be that much worse off without him.
Probably costs money keeping him.
Not to mention emotionally better off.