Or should I really panic about DD being behind in reception ?

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DD is nearly 5 has always hit milestones but definitely at the later end of timescales. She's quite shy and anxious, which we're working on. After the first reception time we were taken aside and it was explained she was struggling in a couple of areas and would be having additional support. We've worked closely with the school and done lots extra with her too. We've had lots of positive feedback and seen a real leap forward, especially in reading. Her handwriting and concentration are still a challenge. She's had a speech and language assessment (normal) an Ed psych assessment (all average accept for two areas which may or may not be related to age and the type of assessment). We've had a formal meeting again this term and whilst they didn't mandate it I got the strong impression that lots of work was needed over the summer (they're pushing us to go to a private occupational therapist for her fine motor skills). Through conversations with other mums it's clear that Nons homework is about 20% of the rest of her class.

She's our eldest so we're all pretty new to this and I'll be honest I had thought reception was all about play. I just feel terrible for DD, and worry that she'll always struggle/ be behind. I'm also now pretty worried about Year 1.

Has anyone else had similar experience ? Did they catch up ? Is there something we're missing ?

The school. Should be doing something calles assess, plan, do, review in order to establish whether she needs support, plan what interventions they can do with her to bring her up to speed and reviewing them after a period of time to see if they are working. If they are, they continue with APDR, if they aren’t then they need to put in referrals themselves for things like occupational therapy. There should be no need for you to pay for occupational therapy if it is something the school determines she needs.

If she's nearly 5, she's young in the year too. Kids do things in their own time. Try not to worry but keep following school guidelines, I guess. But don't pay for summer schooling. That's not right, I'm sure?

Definitely don't panic. She's still very young and there's a lot of children who are slower to develop at this stage and will not only catch up but outstrip their fellow students. It's good that school are giving her extra support and monitoring her progress closely, just in case it turns out that there is some additional need.

Personally, I would let her play and enjoy the summer without any tutoring or stress. Do read together as often as possible, but not as a formal thing for school, just for fun, so she relaxes and enjoys it.

Please don’t panic. She’s 4 - in many regions of Europe she wouldn’t even be in formal schooling yet.

Motor skills develop at vastly varying rates - the best thing she can be doing is lots of gross motor play, because that coordination needs to come first, and lots of fine motor play at her own pace. Climbing, running, swimming, dancing, clambering in woods and over rocks etc - stuff that makes her whole body work together.
Plus - Lego, peg boards, jigsaws, building out of sticks and stones and sand. Colouring if she likes it. Playing with musical instruments if she likes it.

IF there is an issue - and it’s a massive IF - there is plenty of time to do “work” on it.

Read to her as well as let her read to develop her language skills
Cook with her and use measuring tapes ask what weighs more - what’s longer -
Point out letters on shops
Give her money to play with and use in the shop to pay
Count down in 10’s 2’s and 5’s
Ask for one more and one less

Keep it playful

There are plenty of things you can do at home to help her with her fine motor skills... cutting, drawing, hama beads, collecting stones/shells, gardening, make a fairy garden, dress dolls, play with lego etc etc. Normal play. As a pp said, your dd is young in her year. There's plenty of time to catch up. Just enjoy your summer together.

I’m amazed they’ve got an EP in already!

Is this a state school?

PP forgot the play doh or salt doh
Anything tiny that needs practice - tin of button, picking up rice or spaghetti -, you need to build up her muscles

Geez, that sounds like a bug expectation from the school, both in terms of what they think you should do and what she should be able to do. Development is not linear. She is young. I'd just keep reading and keep things light. Things like play doh and shaving foam in a flat tray to trace letters in and 'draw' in are great for fine motor skills development.

Has she had her eyes and ears tested?

DD was a bit similar and did catch up in Y1. She's a winter baby though! You don't need therapy for fine motor skills - well, not before you've tried the stuff they do anyway like Hama beads, threading wool through holepunched holes, dressing up action men/barbies from the charity shop, tracing shapes, dot to dots... (These are all things DD's school.have done with her in their intervention group).

This is just ludicrous. Most European countries don't begin formal learning until about six or seven. For good reason. She is 4 - she should be learning through play and as she develops the fine motor skills for writing will improve. Please do not even think of worrying about this

At her age you definitely shouldn't panic. How behind is her writing? In YR attempting to write (even with terrible spelling) something just about legible is usually enough! Can she blend when reading? (Even if not this isn't terribly unusual and they often catch up). Does she know her letters? Can she listen and follow stories which are being read to her?

The problem is she's significantly younger than many of her class and there's huge variation in development anyway at her age so a summer born who is slightly behind for their age but within normal limits can seem very behind an advanced winter born.

How much homework are any of them getting in YR? Sounds like a very pressured school!

My friend's DS was very behind mine in YR he could still barely blend by the end of the year while my DS was already reading level 6-7 books with ease. Now at the end of Y2 they both read very similar books and I don't see much difference between them.

If she's had two formal assessments by her educators before she is five, they have serious concerns. They see a LOT of 4 year olds, they have a much better idea of what is normal than you do. You need to follow their advice.

My ds August boy was behind until end of yr 3/4. Now top sets in year 8. Time makes a huge difference

A lot of the expectations of children that age are developmentally inappropriate. While it makes sense to look at things like getting eyes tested, I would think about protecting your daughter from some of those inappropriate expectations.
Many children are not ready to read at four or five, and trying to push them to get them on schedule does not help matters, it can make them worse. I wouldn't be worried until age six, in real terms, about reading, and some children are even later than that.

My youngest was woefully behind with his motor skills in reception but is now in year 3 and all caught up... With no additional help at all. Honestly I wouldn't worry too much, children do develop differently. One of mine showed no interest in reading in year 2 and was behind, now she never puts a book down and is at grammar school.

What did the EP say?

Please don't worry. My youngest struggled with reading, didn't oasis phonics on year 1 but passed when he retook it in year 2. Struggled thro year 2 SATS. He is now year 6 and is completely different, excelling in most subjects and you would never know the struggles he had when he was younger. I just let him be a kid, enjoy learning and help with reading and homework. Your child is still so tiny and so.much will change over tne next few years.

Is this a private school? My reception aged child is still trying to write letters, he is a while away from working on his handwriting.

Nothing you have said about your dd sounds like it should require the sort of assessments and concern it has been generating.

I wouldn’t panic, but I would do what they suggest.

Play with dough, thread beads, colouring, painting, scribbling, drawing, dressing dolls and teddies, lego, kerplunk, etc will all help with fine motor skills. I feel so sorry for young children these days with such pressure at 4 years old. She will develop at her own rate.

One of the saddest threads I've read tonight. Send her out to play. Worry if shes not hitting milestones when shes 7. I weep at what our system is doing to a generation of children!

The child will be unaware of any issues!!

Teachers have noticed how she does compared to her targets and peers - other children will need help in other areas. She won’t be the only one who needs a bit of concentrated practice

DD1 was 'behind' in reception, Y1 and Y2. Y2 teacher told me 'you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear'. DD1 is just off to university with her excellent A level grades and two years' work experience in a hectic job. She was just a gorgeous little dreamy clumsy summer baby and I ignored anyone who criticised her. Obviously I would have listened if she had been really struggling but she was a SUMMER BABY... that extra year makes a massive difference at that age.