Or should I really panic about DD being behind in reception ?

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DD is nearly 5 has always hit milestones but definitely at the later end of timescales. She's quite shy and anxious, which we're working on. After the first reception time we were taken aside and it was explained she was struggling in a couple of areas and would be having additional support. We've worked closely with the school and done lots extra with her too. We've had lots of positive feedback and seen a real leap forward, especially in reading. Her handwriting and concentration are still a challenge. She's had a speech and language assessment (normal) an Ed psych assessment (all average accept for two areas which may or may not be related to age and the type of assessment). We've had a formal meeting again this term and whilst they didn't mandate it I got the strong impression that lots of work was needed over the summer (they're pushing us to go to a private occupational therapist for her fine motor skills). Through conversations with other mums it's clear that Nons homework is about 20% of the rest of her class.

She's our eldest so we're all pretty new to this and I'll be honest I had thought reception was all about play. I just feel terrible for DD, and worry that she'll always struggle/ be behind. I'm also now pretty worried about Year 1.

Has anyone else had similar experience ? Did they catch up ? Is there something we're missing ?

Kids do things in their own time.

bollocks. Some kids need a lot of help and some children never hit certain milestones not matter how much support is put in place. Disabilities and SN go exist!

OP, if school feel she needs more help in certain areas, they should be able to refer as well. I wouldn't go private if money is tight and put DD under a lot of pressure over the summer. Given that the Ep and salt assessments were normal, I really wouldn't panic at that stage.

Christ that’s a lot to expect from a 4 year old... where I live children don’t start formal schooling until 5 minimum, but 6 is most common. What pressure on a little child... seems like a very outdated system?

Please don't panic. My DS is the youngest in his year, he has always done things in his own time. We bought him handwriting books from the works and did lots of projects from Pintrest together. He has come on leaps and bounds, don't put pressure on yourself or DD will pick up on it too. You are right she is only little and should be enjoying school. You are aware that you might need to put in a little extra work and you seem happy to do so which is half the battle. My DS struggled to write or so we thought but he could quite happily fill in requests on YouTube. The kids at the top end of the year are almost a year older which is a massive amount of time at their age. Keep your chin up everything will come together.

Please don’t worry yet, but try to build her self esteem and confidence. FWIW my ds really struggled at first and didn’t really settle till year one, he’s now exceeding in everything.

What helped was the school backing off him a bit and taking him out the class with a few other children to work on his social and confidence skills

I agree that state schools don't usually get the Ed psych in during Reception unless they are very concerned. I would be asking the senco to lay it on the line to you, how worried are they? Do they think she just needs a bit extra and will catch up or do they have wider concerns?

What did the Ed psych say?

that brick game where dc has to place in brick in turn with you, pick up stick balls where dc balances (a bit) on one leg whilst lifting the other over
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07J5256KD/ref=sspa_dk_detail_2?psc=1&pf_rd_p=e2bfafb5-111e-4906-b089-5d691a51d45f&pd_rd_wg=4Kcc2&pf_rd_r=96ZXM69X9X0HS9EVG3KA&pd_rd_i=B07J5256KD&pd_rd_w=7rgTs&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&pd_rd_r=282760ee-7d91-11e9-8290-1f7ef5cdf6ea
to encourage upper body strength those tunnels that dc crawl through
encourage cross lateral function by using matching cards & memory by placing snap cards upside down & getting dc to take turns pick them up & matching. trampolines help strengthen legs etc (dc had quite severe dyspraxia fine & gross motor skills, we did have have physio) has your child been referred to child development centre? please get assessment because she should get some help (I hope!) if she needs it by NHS.

@milkshak3

Yes some children do have specific issues that need attention but most kids who are "behind" in reception do not. It's like panicking because your one year old isn't speaking much yet. Yes some kids do need speech therapy and late talking can indicate one problem or another but at this stage but mostly at a young age it's just variations in development.

WE have an education system which forces formal education on children at a time which all the research indicates is too early. A winter born child will be almost 25% older than a summer born when they start reception and are usually much more ready than their younger school mates.
I would pay more attention to the Ed Psych report than anything else. Even that though won't be too indicative of a major problem which wouldn't be diagnosed until 7 anyway due to the exact issues (immaturity and variations in development) which PP have described.

I would work on fine motor skills with her through play (finding coins in play doh, Hama beads, threading beads to make necklaces, writing in sand - whatever interests her) though.

1 Year in a 4 year's life is 25%. Her autumn born peers have had loads more time to get to where they are. In my experience you have to take a longer view of things. My ds1 is a late March birthday who was not ready for formal learning in Reception but was VERY ready for reading and writing by y2 where he made a massive improvement. At the end of y1 his writing was like "Iwenttotheprk" for "I went to the park" but by Easter could read chapter books and write easy to understand pages of writing. My other son is late August born and didn't catch up until y3/4 where he could read chapter books and write more than a paragraph. His handwriting went from poor to better than average in y5. He went from
failing y1 phonics test and in secondary he's in top/2nd sets.

Do they still do the library reading scheme? I'd definitely do that over the summer. I'd do lots of activities that focused on improving motor skills. I used to get my kids to write a summer holiday diary. I'd print photos, stick in pictures and they'd write as much as they could. (A sentence in Reception building up to a paragraph over the years) I'd buy stickers and let them write with colour pens so they felt motivated. You can get sets of coloured glitter gel pens etc

Don't panic. My DS was behind in nursery, reception and for most of year 1. However a few months ago (he's still in year 1) its as if something suddenly clicked inside him and he is doing so much better. His teacher is amazed. He is still pretty much at the bottom of his class, but she is hopeful he will catch up further in year 2 and is no longer too worried about him.

I get really annoyed with our education system. Everyone learns differently and I don't think it caters for this.

Suggesting you get a private occupational therapist!? Yeah, everyone has that money...

My DD was like this at that age - ahead as a reader but behind with motor skills (also a summer child so young for the year). We did lots of activities like cutting paper to make mosaic pictures, bead threading, colouring, drawing, baking etc and were advised to get her to pick things up with a pair of tweezers as her grip was weak.

Turns out she had dyspraxia - did the EdPsych test for that as it often shows as lack of concentration as well as motor skills? You shouldn't have to pay for OT support - ask your GP to refer you for an assessment - you could see if the school would write a letter recommending it to take with you if you don't have a helpful GP. If they find that she needs OT support it should be provided - some LAs get the OTs to go into the school which might help.