To be considering DC4?

[CalamityJess]

I know I am!

Please remind me of all the reasons why it’s a terrible idea! I’ve always wanted four but we’d (very sensibly) decided against for career/financial/environmental reasons.

Please, help me shake this broodiness!

I loved having 3. Number 4 is 9 months old and I wouldn't give him back for the world but my god it's hard work!

How old is number 3? Do you have any challenging teenagers yet?

Haha, no! DC3 is only 1.

I have 3. I am exhausted. Love them to bits but could not contemplate having to divide time over 4. 3 is hard enough (and they are all pretty nice, have their moments but generally well behaved kids). 9, 6 and 3.

Can you support 4 kids? Do you have a large house?

T 3 children should be enough

Stay at 3. Planet over populated as it is.

No justification for it at all!

We had a surprise 4th and I wouldn't send any of them back (well, not most days), and coming from a big and close family myself, I love the idea of sitting around a table with so many grown up DC's and their families. But in the meantime, it is relentless in a way that 3 wasn't.
Unless you have a lot of family or paid support, there will always be at least one DC with an unmet need (or at least a want) and that is tricky to manage, for everyone's sake. I also feel a huge amount of guilt about our environmental impact - though on the plus side, 4 is expensive enough that we certainly aren't buying new things, let alone flying anywhere!

Did you see this thread? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3589235-to-be-jealous-of-people-with-3-children

We have 4 ( not entirely planned that way). It's very hard work, very expensive and the work load is relentless.

I really, really doubt we’ll actually go there (DH is very happy to stick at 3!) but I wish I could just accept that and stop thinking about it all the time!

@Stuckforthrfourthtime Thanks for the link. So many great reasons that we’ve already been discussing there. But I’m surprised at the number of posters saying “just do it!”

Plenty of reasons against and no good reasons for! The feeling will probably pass with time as your children enter new and challenging stages of their lives

Over population of the planet
Less special one to one time with your current children.
Baby phase
Expense
Risk of mental heath deterioration

I think it’s so hard to know when you’re done. I’ve been debating having a third but am unsure and think for financial and lifestyle reasons we’d stick at 2. Where I’m leaving it though is that I’m not going to plan number 3 but if we had an accident later down the line (which seems quite common for no.3) it would be a happy accident and we’d manage. I definitely don’t want 4. I guess the equivalent for you would be, would you ever want 5?

Hell no, we’d never be able to go on holiday again

Wish we'd get whilst we were ahead. Our last has autism. Life is hell now.

What is a fourth going to add to your life that you don't already have with three? Apart from more work that is!

Minister That’s a really good way of putting it!

User Nooo, not seriously anyway. 4 has always been “my number”, hence that pull for another, but obviously it’s very different planning your dream family as a child/teenager vs. the reality when you actually have kids, a job, a partner, etc.

Barnabas I’m sorry you’ve had such a tough time with your youngest

Just about to give birth to our 4th boy child. Wasnt planned. 3 was planned and with hindsight 2 was enough. We'll just have to grin and bear it (as well as love him obviously). Give me 3 weeks and I'll let you know some more informed information.

I only m ow one family of four and the main thing I notice is that they just seem to often split up into two parts, one goes off with either the younger two or both the girls and the other with the others.

Obviously just seems to work better for them to make it manageable with age/gender differences but I wouldn't want to never her a break, never do anything as a family and always be taking kids to something with only me as the parent.

*know

What do you feel about over population op?

I had a surprise number 4 and I couldn’t imagine my life without him, he’s the most amazing little boy at nearly 18 months he’s such a funny little character.
My other children are 7, 12 and 13 With the big age gaps it’s not caos and he gets the attention he needs.
Financially I haven’t really noticed a huge difference, My dp has taught me to use spread sheets for money so I can budget money much better.
I’ve been sterilised tho so I’m happy that I’m definitely having no more babies

Sometimes logic flies out of the window with babies doesnt it!.No matter how many people here say stick at 3 ,that little voice wont be silenced.The decision is yours only .You dont say how old you are ,but with a 1 year old and 2 others sounds like hard work to me.Why dont you see how you feel in year or so time and maybe revisit then .Cute babies always have a habit of turning into tiring toddlers !