To ask how much dh does in the house / with children

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Myself and dh have had major discussion regarding this recently as he was basically doing nothing in house and very little with our child.

He is making an effort but we have a bit of a way to go. I’m just working 2.5 days a week, he works 4 days. How do others split the housework/childcare. Tia

I work 3 days a week (though will be going on maternity leave soon), DP works full time. DP cooks 2 - 3 times a week, washes up twice a week. I do washing, most of the supermarket shopping, though we sometimes go together, other meals and dish washer. I do most of DD nappies and all baths. DP puts her to bed maybe 50% of the time.

We both work full time in full on careers. We’ve always worked childcare and home responsibilities jointly - wouldn’t have worked out if we hadn’t. We have a cleaner and outsource as much we can but we both cook, shop, do school drops etc. if new school shoes are needed and DH is at the shops with DC’s he’ll buy them or buy presents for parties and if we’ve need to swop bank accounts and I’m at the laptop, I’ll do it.

We both work, both DC are at school every day and we try and just juggle everything. He's far more frugal than I am but has come to realise that if you outsource the stuff you hate doing, there's more time for the fun stuff. So we have a cleaner come for a couple of hours twice a week which means nobody whines "I washed up yesterday".

It's not always 50/50; there are weeks when he's away and I do more. There are times when I crash in front of the tv at 5pm and he takes over. We don't measure it but I think it's pretty evenly balanced.

Pretty much 50 50. Just different ways like I'll sort the washing and he'll sort the garden. We pretty much get equal leisure time and equal time with the kids. I work one day less than him but look after the kids on the day off so dont have time for much else - I guess when they're at school I'll do a bit more if I dont go back to work

Tonight he cooked dinner, did bedtime, dishwasher, emptied the dryer and tidied up generally. I had client work that ran on. Other days I do more. We split it pretty evenly. I do the diary management for the house, I actually get paid through our business for managing his work too so adding the house stuff to it suits. I find it easy as PA'ing is my job and I like it done 'my way'.

Otherwise it's split about equally.

We both work full time with a fairly long commute (DH over 5 days, me over 4) though DH also has a small business from home so tends to need to do some work on this a few week nights and a few hours at the weekend. DD is in nursery 4 days per week.

DH does all nursery drop offs / pick ups with the exception of one morning. He cooks every night except my weekday off. The one who doesn’t cook cleans up. I do all the weekly housework tasks and all as little as possible ironing on my day off and a sat morning (takes me around 2-3 hours in total, DH takes DD our on a Saturday morning while I get it done). Between us we keep the place tidy / spot clean / run the vacuum over if needed. Shopping is mainly me although he’ll do it if it’s more convenient for him to do it. He does most of the gardening and DIY type stuff, though I’ll help sometimes. I generally do the laundry as I’ve got a good routine with it, although he’ll stick a load on if the basket is full or there’s something he wants washed. He empties the bins. Bedtime has always been me as DD was breastfed, but since I’ve stopped he does one or two a week and extra if I’m out with friends.

I suppose we have quite traditional stereotypical male and female roles (with the exception of the cooking) but he will certainly step up and do “my” jobs if I’m short of time / under the weather and vice versa.

When I went back to work after mat leave we discussed how we’d split the chores and it’s worked well. My only gripe would be that I tend to be the “default” parent. Particularly at a weekend. I’ll tend to watch DD and have to ask him to keep an eye on her while I pop to the shop, the loo etc, whereas he doesn’t think about it and just does his own thing. He’s getting better now I’ve pointed it out to him though.

We each get our own downtime by agreement. If we fancy a night out with friends we check dates and it’s on the calendar.

neither of us "work"(24 hours on call though)but we are both (paid via carers allowance)carers to disabled kids that need 24 care each as neither sleep and cant be left alone

he does just as much as me if not more as he does the house work when i need to be in bed and is our driver for daily shopping trips(kids eat constantly and we have to go twice a day for fresh food as we spent 40-50 pound a day),educational daytrips which he attends with us or normal trips(cinema,swimming,parks etc) and we go on holidays every 4-6 weeks and they are always 2-3 hours away

we home educate and he is heavily involved in that aspect as well

from birth hes always did the same as me,the only difference was i co slept(still do)but any bottles needed or changing he did and we used cloth nappies

Working 3 days (me) vs 5 days (him)
DH does laundry, gardening, bills type admin and a good bit of tidying up. Very hands on with DC, especially at weekends.
I do food shopping & all cooking, slightly more cleaning, child/school admin. Also very hands on with DC.
It feels pretty fair and equal to me.

I work part time from home in the evenings and at weekends; and SAHP during the day. DH works full time in a job that's intense when he's there but very reasonable hours. He's out the house from around 8.15am - 5.30pm weekdays.

I do all shopping, cooking, laundry and house cleaning, and have the mental load for child stuff. He does most bedtimes; whoever isn't doing bed then tidies the kitchen after dinner. At the weekends he is probably more on-duty than me and will 'give' me at least a couple of child free hours to relax.

We don't do the same as each other, but we're both happy that our contributions are equal.

DH works 5 days, 2 from home I work 4 days. He probably over a week does more than me but I have fibromyalgia and working can wipe me out. For instance tonight I got in at 4 and felt awful couldn’t eat and just wanted to sleep. DH was WFH so his turn to cook, he cooked, tidied up and walked the dog whilst I slept.

We are exactly the same op, I work 2.5 days and dh does 4 days.

We just both muck in and do what needs doing. We are slightly gender stereotyped... I do most of the cooking, he changes light bulbs and fixes things etc etc but we are playing to our strengths so I can't get upset about it.

With childcare it's pretty much 50/50 when we are both around. I go out in the evening more often than him though.

DH does breakfast, school run, school pick up, homeworks, dinner, bedtime and works. I work and do laundry!

Your hours and your DH's hours are similar to ours....DH works about 4 days and I about 2-3.

I work from home.

DH does the (vast) garden and cares for the chickens...we have a lot so it's quite a bit of work. He does laundry though not reliably...he NEVER washes up which pisses me off.

We live on a ramshackle and large property in Australia and there's constant maintenance of the grounds and house. It always seems that when he's off, he's having to repair something or chop firewood.

He cooks about twice a week. He could definitely do more.

We both work full time. Me Tuesday-Saturday, him Monday-Friday.

Housework and child related care is split 50/50.

I do mornings, breakfast, getting the kids ready for school, making beds, chucking in some laundry and taking kids to school while DH leaves for work early.

He then leaves work early, collects dc from afterschool club, walks home, gets them started with homework then starts dinner. I get home a bit later.

After dinner everything is split between us to get it done so we can have equal downtime.

I clean both bathrooms on a Monday and any extra jobs that need doing, DH on a Saturday while I’m a work finishes off any laundry from the week, vacuums, takes dc to their activities and any other jobs that need doing.

We all chill out together on the Sunday.

I'm currently on maternity leave with 9mo, also have a 3yo. DH works full time. He often makes dinner, or finishes off cooking what I have started. He often loads dishwasher, tidies toys away with the 3yo. He does garden and bird feeding stuff. I do most laundry, shopping and tidying. He does loads of one off bigger jobs too. I do more childcare, night times etc (still breast feeding), but he's very hands on with the children and always wants to do stuff together with them. He always does the 3yo bath and bedtime while I deal with the baby. I feel we have a very equal split.

My DH is usually working away 4 nights of the week - so I do all childcare / house work on those days. I work 3 days a week and he is full time.
We have a cleaner twice a week for 2 hrs so that helps and means I don't have to spend every night cleaning. We have two children both at nursery the 3 days I work.

I would say I am main carer of the children and "home life" / washing / buying clothes / food /bins etc however husband does ALL other admin - bills /cars/holiday planning/ finances etc... I actually earn more in the 3 days I work and we have joint finances for everything as he is far better looking after our assets (which are also in my name).

On the days he is home is does help to an extent but tends to slope off bathtime etc and has only ever looked after both kids on his own once for a few hours! He struggles to look after both at the same time (despite them being well behaved)- he's just not used to it

@KTCluck
My only gripe would be that I tend to be the “default” parent. Particularly at a weekend. I’ll tend to watch DD and have to ask him to keep an eye on her while I pop to the shop, the loo etc, whereas he doesn’t think about it and just does his own thing.

This is totally my husband too!

My OH works full time. I'm currently a SAHM with our 1 year old. I have to say that my OH is amazing. He does housework like dishes and makes our tea/dinner, clothes washing (not all the time but he does more than he probably should). He also gets up early to play with our DD before he has work so that they have Daddy daughter time and let's me have a lie in. I'm very lucky! I have a friend who has a partner who said she can be a SAHM but he won't be lifting a finger when it comes to house work.

We both work 4 days but he has 6 days off in between. We do pretty much 50/50. He just cracks on with the laundry/ dishwasher/ vacuuming/ scrub the shower if it needs doing.
My mum is amazed as my dad did nothing around the house.
I tend to do the cooking, ironing, admin.
There's stuff he won't do like clean the toilet, ironing or put a clean duvet on but similarly I don't clean the car or mow the lawns.
He's more hands on with the kids and is home more often to do the school run but I have to take to parties and swim lessons.
Fairly equal to us, I couldn't be doing with a lazy man child.

DP does ironing, some tidying and food shopping. I cook and clean. He's great with kids and happy to ferry them about whenever and wherever-even late parties for the teens.
He can't cook and if I give precise instructions will clean happily but more trouble than it's worth! Once caught him trying to clean bathroom with duster and polish after I'd had 12 days in hospital 😂

Both work, two teenagers, we each do specific tasks.
I do the cooking because I’m better at it and enjoy it, I clean the bathroom because I like to know it’s done my way, I take care of the finances because I’m more organised but all decisions are joint.
He takes care of all house and car maintenance because he enjoys it more than me, takes care of cleaning after dinner as I cooked, he irons because I despise ironing.
The teenagers are responsible for their own rooms and the rubbish/recycling.
Whoever is home first starts all other housework and we all muck in as we come home. Everyone is responsible for feeding and walking the animals.
Although the children are older so need less practical taking care of, he makes time to chat to them or play a game every day.

I work ft term time (at work 8:30-4:30, then another couple of hours each night, maybe another few hours at a weekend). DH works 4 days a week, all year round.

Term time, DH gets dd2 sorted in the morning (she's 9, just needs to be nagged a bit), cooks most nights, does school run on his day off, laundry, hoovering, etc on his day off. I do bedtime (she still likes a bedtime story, can take a while), homework, cm drop off/pick up, load dishwasher, days out (DH would just keep DD in the house, maybe occasional trips to the park 5 mins away).

Holidays, I do bigger jobs like deep cleaning, decluttering, decorating, etc. I also take over cooking and laundry during the holidays, but DH takes over bedtime.

We're happy that we're relatively equal. There are times when the load swings one way or the other, but it evens out because we both make sure we don't take the piss.

I will also add that if I’m ill he insists on doing everything and offers me endless cups of tea!

I would say my husband does More as he works from home and I have a regular job. 60/40 maybe.