To ask how much dh does in the house / with children

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Myself and dh have had major discussion regarding this recently as he was basically doing nothing in house and very little with our child.

He is making an effort but we have a bit of a way to go. I’m just working 2.5 days a week, he works 4 days. How do others split the housework/childcare. Tia

We work different hours but we both understand being at home with the baby is just as hard work if not harder than our jobs. So basically when over has been working into the home during the day gets back we split everything 50 50 we rarely would sit down of an evening unless the other was also ready to unless we were sorting something just for ourselves. Works for us, we generally do a bit of everything each as well. Not particularly set jobs, some nights he cooks and I clean other nights other way round. Same with all our bits in the house.

Dh works stupidly long hours so does hardly anything at home. He’s very hands on with the kids though and does gardening (more as a break than anything else),the ironing as he irons his own shirts then happily takes anything else we throw at him and just bits and bobs.
I work part time so it works out ok.

I actually think it’s a lot about attitude. If dh just didn’t bother doing anything because he thought it was all my responsibility, then I’d be pissed off.

We both work full time. I drop the kids and pick them up at kindy/daycare because I need the car to get to work and he doesn't. We both get them up and ready in the morning, usually take one kid each. We usually split the cooking duties 50/50. I do the laundry because I prefer to, he does 80% of the housework/vaccuuming/cleaning because he cares more. We both split lunch box making duties and food shopping duties. It's pretty even, if anything I'd say he does more.

On the weekend we each have a lie in. One on saturday, one on sunday, while the other gets up with the kids of a morning. He's better at playing with them in a general sense, I'm better at organising activities and silly day things like Ninja Adventure Storytime! Usually whichever one of us is not cooking the dinner will be playing with the children.

Thanks to everyone who replied. We do have a long way to go! ATM I do all cooking, shopping, laundry, bathing, most of cleaning and looking after dd I’d say 95 per cent of the time.

He occasionally empties dishwasher, washes up, hangs out the odd wash. He does the drop off most mornings and spends maybe half hour with dd in evening while I get out for quick walk.

It wasn’t such an issue when I was a sahm but it’s causing major issues now.

It's pretty 50/50 overall here. We work 3 days a week each and look after the baby while the other is at work. I nearly always do bedtime as he does all the cooking. I probably do more of the basic housework but he does all the bigger jobs and the garden

Both work 4 days per week. But I work much longer hours. I’m out of the house 7ish to 630. He’s out of house from 745 to 530. He gets DS ready and to nursery, collects from nursery and makes dinner. In the evenings we take turn about. One of us looks after DS and puts him to bed, there other does chores (washing up, prep lunch for next day, general tidy and walk dog)

At weekends I batch cook while he looks after DS. We have a cleaner who does most cleaning, but we still have a lot of stuff to do like putting washing away. I do most admin.

I would say that DH does more than me for DS if I was honest

OH cooks for himself everyday.
Does the dishes nearly every day.
He takes DD out at least once at the weekend so I get free time.
He hoovers most weekends.
He does all the top up shops,need cash in etc.
Shopping he goes by himself,we go together or I order online.
If he can he takes days off for DD being sick,school events etc.
If available he does the school run.
He doesn't do a lot of the housework,but doesn't ignore it either. For example if there's a big pile of laundry he will fold it and put away. Or if the toilet needs bleaching he'll do it then and there.

He can be shit sometimes,he can be absolutely great at other times. It mostly works.

I spend more time with DC as I work fewer hours so in the evening I cover most of the housework and DH does the DC baths etc.

We just both muck in and do what needs doing

This^. No one has specific jobs, although it does usually work out that DH does the majority of the washing, I do the majority of the cooking. But if something needs doing, whoever is available at the time does it.
It generally works out pretty well.

I'm a sahm and dh works full time. I do everything when hes at work. When he gets home he pitches right in and helps as much as he can.
Weekends if theres something needing to be done, then whoever is there does it. Hes so good with ds, ds comes to either of us for anything he needs.
I dont mind doing everything for us, because dh appreciates me so much.
We still take turns getting up at night for ds who is a bad sleeper.

I work part-time and dh full-time but jobs around the house are split fairly evenly.

He takes dc to school, I pick them up & do after school childcare.

We take turns (ish) to cook. We both put dc to bed (or to tell them to brush their teeth and go to bed and stop messing about).

We both do laundry (though if I can get away with it he does more than me 'cos I hate it).

We both do whatever job or chore needs doing as it needs to be done.

I wouldn't have had children with him, And certainly wouldn't have had a 2nd child with him, if he'd have been unwilling to do his share of the housework.

My DH works 4 days one week and 5 days the next. I work 3 days a week. On his non working day, DH does the school drop off. I do 3 drop offs per week and 4 pick ups. I do after school activities. DH helps out with the weekend activities.
DH does vacuuming and bins, I do washing and ironing. Everything else including cooking is generally split. Shopping, tidying etc is done together.
We’re a really good team and I think DH prob does more than most men.

I work 3 days, DH f/t. I have a 1 hour commute each way, he works from home.

Until last year I would drop DD at her childminder and DH would collect. He is the taxi service for 2 after school activities plus does 1/4 of car sharing for a third one. He would also do all trips for holiday clubs. He was also first call if DD fell ill in school on my work days and he would take her for doctor's appointments if they fall on my workdays. On my home days it would be me sorting that out.

He is responsible for all rubbish related issues in the house plus does the majority of garden work like watering, grass cutting,

The car is his responsibility as well.

He washes up after meals and after several discussion I left him in charge of the dishwasher.

I normally do the grocery shopping but DH is perfectly able to do it as well.

I do the pets, all washing and most of the cooking (I like to cook). I am in charge of DD's purchases like clothes, gifts (after discussing it with DH) and school things. I get gifts for friends and family. I organised holiday childcare and normally am the one researching familiy holiday. All school related messages, appoinments go first via me, DH helps if required.

We have a cleaner for the main cleaing as this is we both hate.

I am in charge of finance and most typical admin.

DH does lots. I work 3 days, he works full time. He makes us breakfast and gets them dressed before leaving early, drops one off. I drop the other. We both do one pick up unless one of us is working late.
We share all shopping / meal planning / cooking / dishwasher / tidying and cleaning. He does all the laundry / hoovering / gardening.
We take it in turns to do bath and bed, whilst the other one studies (we are both studying also) or does housework. I would say everything works out 50:50, although he does more of certain things, and I do more of others.
He spends all his free time with them if he’s not working or exercising. He never chooses to go out drinking and always says he prefers family time. His choice. He’s a good one.

Simple rule. Nobody stops until you both can stop. He cleans up and preps Lunches does laundry etc while you put kids to bed or vice versa. When it's all done you sit down together

Forgot to say we do about 50:50 at night too when the wake.

I work ft in a long hours job with travel. Dh is a sahd. He does nearly everything. I couldnt do my job without him. When I'm around i chip in obviously but when I'm not or I'm in a busy time, he does it all.

Both work ft, we both pull it weight with kids and to keep the house going, there is no his/her jobs, things just need to be done so we do it

Lots, As much or more than me, when it comes to.looking after the home, he is great at clearing making a room look immaculate in minutes, I follow doing all the washing of things he can't see, dusting, hoovering sofa, eioe down cupboards, appliances etc.
I do all admin, sort bills, school stuff homework etc, I organise DC activities.
He spends lots of time with the DC acting a child himself, he has had nearly 11 years training.
I work 3 nights, he works 5 days.

14 years together.

Not nearly enough. He’s so lazy. He’ll do the absolute bare minimum, do laundry and cooking gets done but the table in the living room is filthy and the floor doesn’t get mopped unless I ask him. I do my bit but I work full time and he is a SAHD with all kids at school. It really upsets me that if I want anything that isn’t those really basic things, I either have to do it myself or ask every single time. On the flip side, I don’t need him to text me during the day to tell me he’s washed the towels .

He’s good with the kids but is quite highly strung, there are instances where I think he’s gone overboard with the telling off.

Probably about 60% DH, 40% me.
I work 3 days and on my working days he does pretty much everything. He brings me tea in bed, gives DS breakfast, gets him ready for school, dishwasher, makes tea. Bedtime is joint. He WFH on Wednesday and puts a washer load on. He also does 75% of our ironing.
I don’t work Mon/ Fri so on those days I do dishwasher, washing, cooking for my working days so DH just has to heat things up. I tidy, do admin, do our supermarket shop. I like DH to not have to do much on those days to make up for the rest of the week!
At weekends we tend to do house jobs as a team. He looks after me though so will usually make tea if I’m tired. We have things we each do more- if cleaning is needed I do it (we have a cleaner but only fortnightly). If it’s gardening DH does it. DS we both like spending time with but some games eg Lego are Daddy and DS time. I tend to do reading with him and supervise homework.
It’s just about being a team and looking after each other imo.

OP I'm a bit like you. DH does work long hours but I am on mat leave and do ALL house stuff. I can't remember the last time he did any laundry and we have a full laundry bin constantly. I have to ask him to do things. He loves playing with the kids but is not so good at the practical stuff and I'm still breastfeeding and he works a lot of late evenings so I do bedtime with both kids. I am shortly to go back to work and we are going to need to have a serious discussion about how to split things more evenly. It was naturally a bit more even I think the last time I went back to work so hopefully we'll manage it!!!

I work 25-30 hours a week (without childcare) with 2 disabled children who have very high needs of an evening and are often up late. I do 99% of the cooking and cleaning, paperwork, washing, shopping and 95% of the childcare (bedtimes, running to clubs, bathing, getting ready for school etc).
He works about 50 hours a week and does fuck all else! He remembers to put the bin out for the bin men 3 times out of 4. Plus he'll empty the dishwasher about once a week. He has taken to doing a half arsed clean of the bathroom about once a month.
He wonders why I'm not interested in sex.....

My DH does a lot, cooks all meals and does washing up and shopping.