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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To beg for help with DS's eating

30 replies

Skiaddicted · 22/05/2019 21:16

Sorry shamlessly posting for traffic. DS has just turned one, hes energetic and fun and meal times are a nightmare. He looks at all foods except cheese or toast and throws them on the floor, even at 7/8 months he never had the urge to put things to his mouth. He will eat really quite well spoon fed, ideally for him the thicker purees/mashed veg but the HV said we need to stop that (i dont disagree.....she gave no advice on how though). I desperately need some ideas on how to get him feeding himself more foods.

He gets no sweet food other than fruit which actually occasionally he will feed himself.

Everyone said BLW would mean he eats everything.....we left it months of him throwinh thimgs on the floor before thinking if we show him they taste good by spoon feeding it would help and that's only got us as far as toast and cheese

I get so envious of others being able to make one dinner they all sit and eat. PLEASE hit me with ideas to improve this situation

OP posts:

HolesinTheSoles · 22/05/2019 21:18

Is he able to chew but just doesn't want to? My eldest took a long time to really start eating properly he'd try things in small quantities but was all about breastmilk till gone 1. He eventually got it though.

Chocolateandcarbs · 22/05/2019 21:20

I just gave what I knew he’d eat one meal a day and then experimented with ella’s kitchen pouches (I just didn’t want to cook meals to be thrown away) and the Anna Karmel recipe book. Worked really well.

Original poster

Skiaddicted · 22/05/2019 21:25

He will happily chomp away at his solid cheese and toast so i think he can chew when fully motivated

Flavour wise ive done the same @chocolateandcarbs in that ive used them to establish what he likes (in theory) and also i try them myself so i know what they taste like. I put the food in front of him which will taste the same as a pouch hes demolished and he throws it on the floor without trying it

OP posts:

sar302 · 22/05/2019 21:26

Might be off track (hard to tell from one post), but would it be worth seeing your GP to rule out some kind of dysphagia?

melissasummerfield · 22/05/2019 21:28

I would ignore your HV and spoon feed him, along with offering finger foods. He is only just one!

Original poster

Skiaddicted · 22/05/2019 21:31

Whats dysphagia sar302?

Thats what i am doing so far melissasummerfield i just long to make one dinner for us all.

OP posts:

moreismore · 22/05/2019 21:33

It sounds like mealtimes have become a bit stressful? My now 3 yr old was totally uninterested in food until gone 1. Wasn’t one 3 meals until 18 months. Would still miss a meal and not remind me if I forgot. He’s just not that motivated by food, even sweet stuff. He always eats brilliant at nursery though. He is getting much better.

There are obvs lots of things that could be going on. I’d be inclined to just stop totally with the purées, the foods he likes, everything. Leave healthy snacks like fruit and veg in reach for grazing. Serve plates of food on the table so everyone can help themselves. Let him choose to eat something or nothing. Give it a week or so and see if he is any more willing to join in?

moreismore · 22/05/2019 21:34

Dysphasia is difficulty swallowing

Sirzy · 22/05/2019 21:34

He’s one, don’t stress if he prefers being spoon fed then spoon feed him. Take it at his pace

moreismore · 22/05/2019 21:34

I spelt it wrong but you get the idea!

Baddabo · 22/05/2019 21:35

I have the same problem with 11 month old DS! No solution just totally with you!

He eats all his meals if they are spoon fed to him, proper lumpy foods, pastas, potatoes, chicken, etc. All mashed up but still very lumpy. Has no trouble chewing it, enjoys it and eats it all but he will not, under no uncertain terms, feed himself ANY food. Not with his hands or with a spoon.

He will hold foods, mash them in his hands or throw them to the ground but he won't bring his hand to his mouth and eat it. A slice of toast for example, he'll mash it and chuck it on the floor but if I hold it and put it to his mouth, he will happily munch it.

He will put NON food items in his mouth though, things he shouldn't... just not food.

Bigmango · 22/05/2019 21:38

I did blw but my dd just wouldn’t eat very much. Now we do a combo - snacky stuff for lunch and then spoon fed supper or pasta/noodles that she feeds herself. Her appetite for solid food only really kicked in at 13 months. And still some days she will eat nothing. I have never done purées or pouches though. I spoon feed her stuff she can’t eat with her hands easily. Things that go down really well as risotto, giant cous cous and chopped up macaroni. Her absolute favourite to feed herself is rice noodles stir fried with veg and egg.

Heronwatcher · 22/05/2019 21:41

Ignore health visitor and try a variety of different tastes spoon feeding, as well as offering baby led stuff (veg sticks, breadsticks, cheese fruit etc). Many children are not especially interested in food at that age, but if they are drinking milk and gaining weight then it is nothing to worry about- give it time! Tbh cooking one meal for everyone at that age might be a bit of an ask- how about batch cooking stuff you know he’ll like and freezing in small portions? Little dish and cook kids meals also good. Final tip is to eat with him as much as possible as my kids ate much better in a proper family meal than on their own.

MerryMarigold · 22/05/2019 21:42

I would get him to start shoving spoons) hands in what you feed him so you're both doing it then he can't throw it. I'd also just mash up what you're having. Do expect a lot of mess though. I'd also let him have yogurts as this is a great motivation to use a spoon or self feed with hands as there pretty delicious. He may have long term food issues (sorry!) as my ds2 was like this and has been difficult with food his whole life, still is at 13. Just keep giving variety and I'd say try not to pander too much. I regret cooking different things for ds1 just so he would eat as a baby. I've managed for more than 10 years now to give him what we have either by restricting our diet bit, or by getting calories in him through other means (full fat Greek yoghurt for breakfast, porridge made with cream). He's good with fruit and eats some veg. but he's never managed school dinners, although there free as he would end up eating nothing.

MerryMarigold · 22/05/2019 21:43

They're, they're, they're. What's wrong with my phone tonight? Lost it's grammar.

MerryMarigold · 22/05/2019 21:43

Its. Gshgah

Original poster

Skiaddicted · 22/05/2019 21:45

I had a Google of dysphagia and i dont THINK its that, but i will keep an eye on it. He does gag a little still on solids when tired but usually with his toast cheese and fruit he does OK. Nursery haven't mentioned anything and hes been going 4 months but they do spoon feed, they said its not pureed though

@moreismore i have been tempted to do that, but he does shout at us with hungry tones if we try anything like that. He does love food and spoon fed comes home from nursery having eaten such a variety. It is a bit stressful but i dont force him at all, i play around and make sure hes unaware of me being bothered. I just worry he isnt getting enough protein in (carbs and veg not an issue)

@baddabo he sounds similar! Although my boy won't let you hold food up to him, he assumes its poisoned im sure . It HAS to go on a spoon to be considered suitable for eating 🙈 glad im not alone though

OP posts:

Jamhandprints · 22/05/2019 21:53

Don't worry about meals yet, just give finger food he likes, like cheese, toast and fruit. Try different toppings on the toast (sweet or savoury), Try toast dipped in soup or beans. Try teacakes and pancakes and crumpets.
Put a few different items on his tray at once each day.
I wouldn't avoid sweet things. Just encourage him to eat.
My 11 month old doesn't eat that much some days but she'll always eat bits of sweet corn, peas and a yogurt. It doesn't matter too much as long as they're eating a bit and getting milk.

PumpkinPie2016 · 22/05/2019 21:54

I fed my son from a spoon - lumpy foods at that age and he ate some things e.g. toast, fruit himself.

It's fine him no harm at all - at 5, he now eats everything, uses cutlery, has excellent speech - all the things they say will be difficult without BLW!

PodgeBod · 22/05/2019 21:58

Is he still nursing or bottle fed? My dd2 didn't really "discover" food until she weaned from the breast when she was 18m. She still isn't the best eater but it's a big improvement.
I don't think there is any harm in him enjoying purees at this age.

LL83 · 22/05/2019 22:01

If your baby eats a good variety and quantity with a spoon then go with that. A child eating enough and a varied diet is brilliant. So what if he wants it from a spoon. I think some HVs just want to offer some sort of advice and everything else was right.

I have to constantly remind my 9 year old to use her bloody cutlery so your 1 year old sounds great to me!

Original poster

Skiaddicted · 22/05/2019 22:08

Lots to think about and feeling a bit reassured so thank you all. He's been teething for what feels like forever and thats impacting him too as you can see him wince as he bites

He doesnt really have much in the way of milk now, he self weaned really. Will happily make up for it with yogurt and cheese though so gets his dairy in

Nice to not be alone in it all too

OP posts:

Mimbizz · 22/05/2019 22:09

Omfg I could have written this post a month ago! So my ds is 13 momths and up until last week would only eat cracker by hand THATS IT.

He would open his mouth to be spoon fed but would squish foods with his hands and throw them on the floor.

So basically we set our sights on lunch and just put out a variety of cut up sandwich bits, half blueberries and half raspberries in front of him and let him play with it. We have him a light breakfast just so he was hungry enough for lunch, porridge was too filling so he wasn't bothered come lunch time.

Then at lunch we gave him a variety of foods to choose from and ate lunch in front of him to encourage him to eat, we gave him 20 mins and whatever he hadn't eaten we made up with mashed food. But day by day he's shown more and more interest in actually eating stuff rather than musbing it up! It's taken perseverance I'll tell you!!

Original poster

Skiaddicted · 22/05/2019 22:14

@mimbizz i could hug you for saying that you had the same, its so hard when all the other NCT bubs are sat munching away. Glad its working for you!!! What have you been doing with dinners?

OP posts:

Wasywasydoodah · 22/05/2019 22:17

Don’t stress! Sounds well within normal range to me. I’d keep going with offering finger foods he likes, new finger food alongside this, and I’d mash up (with a fork) some of the meals you cook to spoon feed too. A mix of all three and he’ll be getting enough, I expect!

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