Mammogram - Dickhead consultant?

[TigerTooth]

I had a pain under my arm - doc sent me for fast-track mammogram. I went yesterday and male consultant examined my breasts.
He then sent me for mammo and ultrasound. I was a bit anxious as you would be and relieved when he said nothing was wrong and probably hormonal.
He asked my age which I thought a bit odd as he had my paperwork in front of him.
He said I looked much younger than my years (I’m 52).
Then he told me that I needed to loose some weight ( fair enough - I do) but his exact words were
“You need to lose some weight, shrink yourself down a little and then all the men will be looking at you”
Exactly what he said! I was so gobsmacked and embarrassed that I mumbled something about being married and rushed out.
I don’t mind being told to lose weight for health reasons but his assumption that my motivation should be so that men will look at me, or that it’s ok for men to be ogling women, or that I ought to lose weight to confirm to his idea of attractiveness was shocking.
Am I over-reacting? Was he a total dick head? Should I report him?
We were alone when he made these comments.

Report the twat. That is unacceptable.

Totally inappropriate- he needs retraining in consultation skills. I would make a formal complaint in the hope that retraining will happen.
I had similar happen to me with a dickhead consultant in a breast clinic. Ignorance and arrogance like this is unacceptable.

That's disgraceful. I would report this.

The other thing that upset me is that the physical exam is always a bit embarrassing when it’s private parts but I just told myself that he does it all day, with a professional ‘hat on’ and is checking glands for lumps and doesn’t see breasts as sexual. But now that he made those comments about men looking at women I feel a bit violated and I don’t think I could see a male consultant for anything intimate again.

I should have called him a sexist twat and slapped him - but I just scuttled away like a silly mouse. He had just felt my boobs so I felt still naked standing there and I just let him say it. So cross with myself now.

Don't feel guilty for scuttling away. Getting away from a nasty situation is perfectly acceptable thing to do.
If you can, please find the strength to report it. Who knows what this dickwipe has been getting away with.

No you absolutely should not have slapped him (assault). What you should have done is got dressed, said you felt uncomfortable and immediately reported him. You should have been given the option for a female to be with you. Report it first thing tomorrow.

Oh god! No! - I was already dressed when he said it. It was feedback - results for the tests, I was fully clothed by then.

I did have a female chaperone for the exam - it was only the weight thing to make men look at me at feedback that upset me. The breast exam seemed normal.

Inappropriate from a medical professional.

Ridiculously inappropriate from a medical professional that just finished handling your breasts.

Please report him. Bare minimum he needs training. If it’s a pattern he should be fired. They can only establish a pattern if patients report.

I had to see a consultant recently for an issue with my breasts and he was I felt quite inappropriate too. We were discussing my upcoming prolapse surgery and he basically said I needed to have it ASAP or my DH would leave me over the lack of sex. My DH was appalled when I told him what had been said. Bizarre.

Contact the GMC and report

That is awful OP. Also, I thought that for intimate examinations there has to be a chaperone. I had to have an internal in January at a hospital appointment and the female nurse said that a chaperone had to be present even though the person doing the exam was female so I would report him on 2 counts-the completely inappropriate and worrying remark he made, plus you weren't offered a chaperone

I wouldn't contact the GMC in the first instance, but I would contact PALS... they can be very, very effective, give very good, often surprisngly specific, advice and are the expected route of complaints

www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/nhs-services-and-treatments/what-is-pals-patient-advice-and-liaison-service/

Great idea. :( Add to the massive doctor shortage NHS is already experiencing.

I wish you had just sharply rebuked him on the spot too, OP. Are you up for a formal procedure that may not give you any satisfaction?

So because the NHS is experiencing a shortage the OP should let misogyny slide.

Would you say the same if it was racism or homophobia.

Hospital doc here (I'm sure that I'm not the only one). You should complain- contact pals or write to the chief exec.
What a nasty and stupid thing to say

So OP shouldn't report the misogynistic cunt cos we're experiencing a doctor shortage?? Are you actually for real, Told this?

ToldThisStoryB4 That all just suggest you have no idea what PALS does, day in, day out!

Well if more women are embarrassed about going for breast exams due to shitty comments from consultants that'll help keep the numbers of patients down then won't it and help the massive Doctor shortage ToldThis . Nevermind there might then be a higher death toll as women are too embarrassed to go for exams.

This is never acceptable OP and he should be called out on it via PALS.

Eww vile twat. REPORT!

I am sorry you had to go through this. Are you OK?

It was incredibly unprofessional.

A GMC report of this nature would be referred straight back to the Trust.
Definitely go for PALS in the first instance.

That would be a dodgy comment even if you were in to talk about an ear infection, but from someone who’s going to have their hands all over your breasts it’s unforgivable.

I don't know what is more shocking, what the knobhead said or @ToldThisStoryB4 response.

Of course you should report him. Totally inappropriate and actually it could be really impactful. Something like that would trigger my eating disorder in an instant.