Mammogram - Dickhead consultant?

[TigerTooth]

I had a pain under my arm - doc sent me for fast-track mammogram. I went yesterday and male consultant examined my breasts.
He then sent me for mammo and ultrasound. I was a bit anxious as you would be and relieved when he said nothing was wrong and probably hormonal.
He asked my age which I thought a bit odd as he had my paperwork in front of him.
He said I looked much younger than my years (I’m 52).
Then he told me that I needed to loose some weight ( fair enough - I do) but his exact words were
“You need to lose some weight, shrink yourself down a little and then all the men will be looking at you”
Exactly what he said! I was so gobsmacked and embarrassed that I mumbled something about being married and rushed out.
I don’t mind being told to lose weight for health reasons but his assumption that my motivation should be so that men will look at me, or that it’s ok for men to be ogling women, or that I ought to lose weight to confirm to his idea of attractiveness was shocking.
Am I over-reacting? Was he a total dick head? Should I report him?
We were alone when he made these comments.

That is bloody awful !!!

Please do report OP - for his future patients at least. Also what an incredible ego, bordering on the unhinged actually - as if women want 'all the men' to be looking at them!!

I've had a couple of really inappropriate comments from doctors before (as an unassertive 20 y.o., so did nothing), it's not like they're godly creatures, they can very well be creeps like anyone else.

And im soooooooo sure that consultants like him are always super keen to prescribe the more expensive drugs that dont cause weight gain.

You often find that people like this are the very last to put their money where their mouths are.

A doctor once told my extremely proper, Catholic mother that she should 'learn to keep her legs closed' when he discovered she was expecting her fifth child.
She was absolutley mortified, and the doctor was extremely lucky that my father was the old fashioned sort who did not attend ante natal appointments, because my dad have knocked the smarmy look right off his face.

@ToldThisStoryB4 it wouldn't be the OP causing issues with the NHS. Rather, it was this disgusting individual with his shocking remark. If hr had kept his mouth shut, she would not need to complain, would she?

OP you absolutely should complain or he will carry in talking to patients like this.

Thanks all: except Toldthis the general consensus is complain.
I’m going to look into PALS today, I feel really embarrassed complaining because it means discussing my breasts and my weight but I will. Mainly because It’s totally changed my confidence in the professionalism of these consultants. I have a male gynaecologist but I’m going to change him and find a woman. Also it doesn’t seem to be isolated as other MN’s have had this. I’ll do it today. He does need to be re-trained in his communication skills - I couldn’t have been in a much more vulnerable position toldthis so I’m sorry my reaction disappointed you but it IS his behaviour that was lacking, not mine.

I very much doubt you will be the first one. PALS is the first point of call. There is a strict timetable for them to reply to you and you can do it by email with many trusts.

Was he from another culture at all? I complained about a male doctor because a week after I’d had a miscarriage of a desperately tried-for baby (for 3 years), he’d said in an appointment “oh nevermind about that you can just get pregnant again, at least it wasn’t a proper baby yet”.

When I complained I was told his culture didn’t believe that miscarriages were sad occasions And also that he would struggle not to say very blunt (what I would call inappropriate) things because of the way they talk in his culture and the complaint was left at that.

I just don’t think it’s excusable. At best it’s offensive and obviously in your case and mine it’s caused a lot of upset and embarrassment. I think they should be told not to make any remarks rather than have them excused.

His culture is irrelevant. If he thinks that that sort of behaviour is ok in his culture he needs to wake up. Bad behaviour is never excused by culture or age or religion