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Original poster

To think that it's not hard to take a minute's silence?

194 replies

justwonderingtbh · 22/05/2019 18:16

I work in Manchester. Today was the second anniversary of the attack, which is always going to be a sad day.
I work in an office call centre environment and everyone was briefed about a minute's silence that would be taking place at 2:30. Was told to not take calls after 25 past etc.
It came to half past and a bell was chimed for the silence, I was the only person who stood up for the silence which didn't bother me much but I did think that's the done thing. Also there were people still on their calls! More bothered about making a sale than remembering the 22!
Yes I understand that these people are just trying to hit their commission but just call the customer back afterwards. It has really angered me.

OP posts:
Imoen · 23/05/2019 10:54

Its the same as competitive grief / emotional response over TV programs.

Something horrific is documented on TV or covered in a documentary and you get threads which start off as a commentary then turn into competitive how traumatised the viewer was by it.

On TV addicts here there is on on Chernobyl and on other forums its being discussed. The number of people who claim to have sleepless nights, be crying etc over a TV program is interesting - it gets competitive into how much you can be affected by it.

Original poster
justwonderingtbh · 23/05/2019 12:38

Well it isn't the same as competitive fried for TV programmes because this wasn't a TV program, this was our real life.
I didn't realise standing up for a silence wasn't a thing, some people did and some didn't in my office it's probably just a personal preference thing, I'm not sure. Had it in my head that you always stand up for a silence, not sure why.
So no I'm not "showboating" my grief or whatever, I'm sad that my loved ones were victims and I'm sad that it happened in our hometown. I do realise now that there are more important things to be annoyed at than people not joining in a minute's silence, but I'm sure everyone can understand that at the time with all the emotions it was something that got under my skin.

OP posts:
Original poster
justwonderingtbh · 23/05/2019 12:38

Grief not fried

OP posts:
LoafofSellotape · 23/05/2019 12:43

It’s not lack of respect for those who died. If it’s lack of respect it’s for those who want a public show of grief with an arbitrary silence

I agree.

Lichtie · 23/05/2019 13:20

Your OP says you were the only one to stand up?
Bit of a Drip feed that your loved ones were victims.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 23/05/2019 13:46

Why weren't you at the special service for those who lost loved ones OP?

Clearly this was the most important thing to you yesterday so not sure why you were at work when there was a dedicated event for you to attend?

bellinisurge · 23/05/2019 13:49

Wow, the bad guy in this is the op? Weird, frankly.
Everyone has a different way of dealing with stuff. Manchester, in the face of such a horrendous attack on people's natural right to enjoy music and life, chooses to be very overt in its acts of solidarity. I live here. It's not for me but I wouldn't dream of having a go at people who do. Just odd.

Original poster
justwonderingtbh · 23/05/2019 13:58

I wasn't invited to the service at the cathedral. It was an intimate service for the families of the 22.

OP posts:
ThePants999 · 23/05/2019 13:58

When a public silence was introduced, it was in remembrance of the million who sacrificed their lives in WWI in defence of the rest of us, to whom we owe a debt that can never be repaid. I'm sorry, but wanting the same thing for 22 senselessly murdered people cheapens it. What happened to them is a tragedy, and their loved ones deserve sympathy, but the rest of us are not in their debt.

bellinisurge · 23/05/2019 14:08

@ThePants999 , seeing as how you are dragging more hyperbole into it, I am grateful that my city celebrates the natural right of everyone (including young girls) to go to gigs and enjoy music.
I don't do public displays of anything but I am still grateful.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 23/05/2019 14:14

I wasn't invited to the service at the cathedral. It was an intimate service for the families of the 22.

? You said right before that "I'm sad that my loved ones were victims"

It's all a little confusing tbh. But I hope you made peace with yourself and the anger you felt over those not marking the occasion in the way you felt they should.

Pinkvoid · 23/05/2019 14:23

I do wonder how many years they will continue to do this for. The first year I could understand then maybe ten years but they can’t expect everyone to do this every single year surely.

I don’t want to sound heartless and I don’t think the city (or country) should or would ever forget. I wouldn’t have been one of the colleagues talking throughout it, I’d have been embarrassed to in fact. However if I were a customer unaware of the minutes silence I’d have been a bit pissed off if someone hung up on me. What were the colleagues in the middle of a call supposed to do exactly?

bellinisurge · 23/05/2019 14:24

Not confusing at all. People were there who, thank god, didn't die. Traumatic for everyone there. Including first responders and medics.

ThePants999 · 23/05/2019 14:29

@bellinisurge, I don't understand how a single word of your post relates to a single word of mine. I can't see any hyperbole in my post, nor does anything you said contradict anything I said. Go right on being grateful, it's fine with me!

bellinisurge · 23/05/2019 14:34

@ThePants999 - dragging the magnitude of WWI into your post is pretty hyperbolic.

Original poster
justwonderingtbh · 23/05/2019 14:40

My loved ones were victims, but I'm not an immediate family member of any of the 22.
Also I think I should say that my initial reason for being angry wasn't that people didn't want to do a minute's silence, but more that if everyone else is doing one then why not just be quiet for a minute whilst your colleagues are observing it. The people in my office weren't being quiet or discreet. Also we were told by our managers to tell customers that we will be observing a minute's silence if they would like to wait, so they didn't follow managers instructions either.

OP posts:
Original poster
justwonderingtbh · 23/05/2019 14:41

Also I would like to add that I don't think everyone should always do a minute's silence and if they don't then they don't care. I just think if everyone around you is doing one then it's courteous to stay silent too, obviously reading this I see that this is too much to ask of some people.

OP posts:
Hollowvictory · 23/05/2019 14:44

It's, a, real shame that you weren't invited to the service given you lost loved ones. Don't understand that at all.

CecilyP · 23/05/2019 14:50

Thing is, you said that you were in an office that calls out. If you had phoned me up out of the blue and then, when I had expressed an interest in what you were offering, you suddenly said you were doing a minutes silence, I would be thinking, 'hey wait a minute - you phoned me' so I'm afraid I would not be very impressed with your company. I would imagine that people who live in Manchester might be sympathetic, but if you contact people around the country, it would give a very bad impression.

Hollowvictory · 23/05/2019 14:56

But cecily the norm is you don't start a new call just before a minutes silence. You wait to do your next call till the silence is finished.

Original poster
justwonderingtbh · 23/05/2019 15:06

I understand that the people on the other end of the phone would be annoyed, but I couldn't care less in all honesty.

OP posts:
WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 23/05/2019 15:12

I can imagine in such a forward-facing workplace a minute's silence is almost impossible to enforce - and should never be forced anyway.

Surely far better would be for a room or space to be designated for those who wished to observe in this manner.

For all you know the people on the end of the phone may have lost friends and family in a multitude of ways, you are quite extraordinarily unempathetic.

Bottom line is, life goes on.

bellinisurge · 23/05/2019 15:15

Op, I would step away from this thread. Please take some time to look at the Manchester Resilience Hub poster attached.

To think that it's not hard to take a minute's silence?
Original poster
justwonderingtbh · 23/05/2019 15:15

It was nowhere near impossible, on our floor out of maybe 100 people only about 5 decided to talk through.
I don't understand the relevance of what the people on the other end of the phone were going through as well. It's only a sales call, if they don't want to hold for a minute then they don't have to.

OP posts:
Schuyler · 23/05/2019 15:16

I think your emotions are getting in the way of logic because you were in a call centre! You seem to think people who didn’t observe the silence were being discourteous or disrespectful but you don’t know they didn’t observe in a meaningful way at another time.

A minutes silence doesn’t mean much. There are many, many ways to recognise and remember such tragedies.

I mean this genuinely but if you found it upsetting, then perhaps take a day off work next year or ask for a break for 10 minutes or something else, so you don’t need to feel this way again.