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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it's not hard to take a minute's silence?

194 replies

justwonderingtbh · 22/05/2019 18:16

I work in Manchester. Today was the second anniversary of the attack, which is always going to be a sad day.
I work in an office call centre environment and everyone was briefed about a minute's silence that would be taking place at 2:30. Was told to not take calls after 25 past etc.
It came to half past and a bell was chimed for the silence, I was the only person who stood up for the silence which didn't bother me much but I did think that's the done thing. Also there were people still on their calls! More bothered about making a sale than remembering the 22!
Yes I understand that these people are just trying to hit their commission but just call the customer back afterwards. It has really angered me.

OP posts:
Lllot5 · 22/05/2019 20:17

I think I would’ve been silent, but if you tried to force me I would resent it I have to say.
People are allowed to do this or not.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 22/05/2019 20:17

Presumably the people not observing your silence weren't standing there shouting "get stuffed I don't care!" into megaphones at the time?

Stop projecting about what this girl might or might not be thinking, it is honestly coming across a little ghoulish. Thousands of people were affected that night, but you seem to feel you are the only one who really cares and have posted this weird thread to show it.

escapade1234 · 22/05/2019 20:21

There’s no need for it. Mourn or remember privately. I don’t like the idea of a minute’s silence except for the Armistice.

bellinisurge · 22/05/2019 20:22

Op, please heed this formal advice

To think that it's not hard to take a minute's silence?
escapade1234 · 22/05/2019 20:22

I would also think it absurd for a call centre operator to stop taking my call because of a minute’s silence.

screwthepyramids · 22/05/2019 20:23

Sounds like you just wanted a confrontation thh

screwthepyramids · 22/05/2019 20:23

Sorry wrong thread Blush

Original poster
justwonderingtbh · 22/05/2019 20:23

Well it wasn't MY silence, was it.
The girl who's family member lost their life organised it actually. It was HER silence. It was a silence for the 22 and thousands others.
I've never said that I'm the only one who cares, 95% of the office took part in this silence and I've seen on social media the hearts being left around town, and other days of reflecting upon today which have broke my heart.
I'm just sad that people didn't want to join in, because it wasn't much to ask at all.

OP posts:
Alloftheboys · 22/05/2019 20:25

Used to work in a fast food restaurant. We’d put a notice on the door on Nov 11th to advise of minutes silence and lock it.
Still have people rattling the door during the silence. The vast majority of people are perfectly capable of being quiet for a minute.
If I’m in church and asked to pray during a wedding for example, I don’t pray but I sit there in silence while others around me do.
Also used to work in a call centre so have had to handle customers and silences. It’s possible the advisors just didn’t want to do it.

Original poster
justwonderingtbh · 22/05/2019 20:25

Thank you for the NHS advice, I have been given that and shared it with some of my loved ones. It really is a difficult time.

OP posts:
Lichtie · 22/05/2019 20:26

"I'm just sad that people didn't want to join in, because it wasn't much to ask at all"
And its not much to ask you to respect their right not to join in.

EggysMom · 22/05/2019 20:28

I work in a shared service centre in Manchester, and we had a minute's silence at 2:30pm. Problem was, management didn't get the message out to theirstaff. So what happened was that our fire alarm went briefly at 2:30, we stood, looked around for fire wardens, and vocally wondered what the heck was going on and whether we should exit the building, until somebody - whose manager did brief them - quietly told us that was for the minute's silence. Cue confused looks as most of us knew nothing about it. Apologies if anybody was offended but we hadn't remembered that today was the anniversary, nor would we have expected a silence at 2:30pm when our memory of the bombing was that it was in the evening. I wonder how many more years we'll have this minute's silence ...

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 22/05/2019 20:28

The girl who's family member lost their life organised it actually.

Then it's up to her to be upset,offended, moan or complain about it.

starzig · 22/05/2019 20:30

I don't agree with having an organised minutes silence at all. Completely odd. You are very able to take a minutes reflection on any tragedy in your own personal time. Half the time when people are forced they may be quiet but probably thinking of something entirely different like what's for dinner.

Original poster
justwonderingtbh · 22/05/2019 20:33

I'm sorry if I do seem too harsh and can't see the others point of view. I just think it's still a really raw thing and because of the emotions can only see the point of why not just shut up and do it sort of thing. Yes I get they have a right. Yes I get they weren't forced. But I just don't get why someone would object so much that out of maybe 100 people they'd be the 5 that didn't observe it. I think it's just one of those subjects that is too close to home for me so I just don't see the other side Sad anyway I hope that everyone reading this is coping on this anniversary, and if anyone wants to talk about it then my inbox is open x

OP posts:
BuzzShitbagBobbly · 22/05/2019 20:34

I'm just sad that people didn't want to join in, because it wasn't much to ask at all.

But you have no idea how they are choosing to remember and grieve in their own way.

You are seeing this as either they joined in the 'approved' remembrance or they didn't give a fuck. Which is nonsense.

Let people deal with their memories in the time and way of their choosing. And perhaps refocus onto your own reflections instead. This anger is doing you no good.

Redglitter · 22/05/2019 20:34

Sorry if I'm missing something but why on earth was there a minutes silence at 230pm. What's the relevance of that time?

Original poster
justwonderingtbh · 22/05/2019 20:38

There was a service at the cathedral for the families of the 22 at 2pm, during which there was a minute's silence at 230. Many Manchester services and business wanted to show their solidarity with the victims families and remember alongside them, whilst also giving them the privacy and intimacy of a small service, so this was deemed as a good nod of respect. To observe it with them but not with them.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 22/05/2019 20:40

Ahh right that makes sense. Thanks for explaining it. It just seemed very random

Lichtie · 22/05/2019 20:51

The thing with minutes silences is that they by their nature to force people into complying, as non compliance is obvious. Much prefer the minutes applause, again a personal choice.
I find minutes silences tedious, so many people die in tragic circumstances every year and get nothing, but some others deserve a minutes silence... Makes no sense to me.

bellinisurge · 22/05/2019 21:36

My dd (Manchester area school pupil) was surprised they didn't have a minute's silence at her school. And disappointed. Children her age at a venue she has seen gigs at, died that day. It's raw here still.
I'm not big with silences myself but if it helps some people process it , what's the problem?

mbosnz · 22/05/2019 21:43

If you wouldn't observe this in Manchester, when it was two years ago, why on earth would you observe the Armistice? It was bloody ages ago. Move on.

Gth1234 · 22/05/2019 21:58

@bellinisurge

thanks for posting that. I am flabbergasted to be honest.

Gth1234 · 22/05/2019 22:08

@bellinisurge

yes. My father died over 40 years ago. I am not sure of the exact date, although it was in August. I was either 21 or 22. My mother died about 15 years ago, and I couldn't give the exact date.

Mookie81 · 22/05/2019 22:25

If you're so annoyed, go to the Sistine Chapel and have a good scream about it.