Single friends moan now we are married are a boring couple???

[justasking111]

We got married, mortgage and money worries meant we could only go out on a Friday for a couple of hours. We were actually happy in each others company, doing up a house, working in the garden, planning a future which included our first baby which when born we fell off the planet for a time. Single friends thought we were uber boring. Did this happen to anyone else. Only remembered it because friends are moaning that Prince Harry is henpecked now married and a dad.

Should we have made more of an effort to be sociable and lived more of a singles life even if it no longer appealed??

They will all catch up soon

Only remembered it because friends are moaning that Prince Harry is henpecked now married and a dad.

Unless they know him personally, that is a bloody weird statement to make.

They do know him (prince Harry) personally was in the press today. I remember OH mates thinking him a boring fart so it must be my fault he did not continue to party all weekend with them. The truth was we were absolutely skint. I earned more than him but we pooled every penny. We shabby chiched parents cast offs and auction lots before it was fashionable.

Some people will say anything to get into the papers. "Father decides to spend time parenting" - hardly a surprise to anyone rational.

OH loves parenting not so much the washing breast feeding side of it, but the love you get back from a child who smiles and shouts Daddy!! from her high chair when you walk in is a real heart stealer.

They do know him (prince Harry) personally was in the press today.

Sorry, they do know him, or they know how to read trash tabloids?

Look forget Harry it just got me thinking, that real life friends thought we had become booorrriiinnnggg because we were no longer in the social loop.

Actually, I would say your friends are boring for wanting to keep partying in adulthood.

I see their point however, if what you have is what makes you happy then that’s the only opinion that counts

I must be a heck of a lot older than you, because EVERYBODY did this back in the day...!

This is always a tricky stage in friendship groups - the fact is that children and parenthood are very boring for people who don’t have children, but obviously people with children can’t keep living the single party lifestyle, so there’s a clash.

It just a phase though and will pass once everyone has kids and/or the kids grow up a bit and give the parents back their freedom.

The way you’ve phrased it sounds like you dropped your friends when you got married -“happy in each other’s company”. Not boring as such, but perhaps saying “we’re skint” would have come across as less smug-married? Yes, life changes, but making an effort to keep up with friends in other ways is always possible.

pencreed. We did say we were skint, they still blamed me for OH not partying and getting bladdered/going fishing at the weekends with them. The girls were more understanding.

I’m now even more confused. You’re writing as if you’re a young, skint married couple with a new child. Your posting history says you’re an older couple with grown up sons who were privately educated. Are you making stuff up, or moaning about how friends behaved 20+ years ago?

It's still important to have friends when you're married.

done like a kipper. I am using the past participle.

Laguna - we have kept old friends as someone else said once they had kids they caught up, we made new friends via, playgroup, school as well. It is just at that time things were said that jarred.

I think you're conflating a lot of entirely separate things. Your mortgage has nothing to do with you being married -- you could have been skint because you were single, or cohabiting and had a mortgage which meant you were limiting expensive socialising.

Yes, having a small baby can mean you fall off the planet of childfree friends for a bit, but that again has nothing to do with marriage, your mortgage, or whether you wanted to spend 24/7 loved up.

However, the bit I take issue with is that you seem to have some weird anachronistic notion of 'single life' that automatically stops when there's a ring on your finger. Unless the entire point of your pre-marriage social life was shagging as many people as possible, I don't see why your social life suddenly changes, purely for that reason?

@DoneLikeAKipper Don't be a dick

@justasking111, firstly, your title is not.

OH loves parenting not so much the washing breast feeding side of it, but the love you get back from a child who smiles and shouts Daddy!! from her high chair when you walk in is a real heart stealer.

This is not, plus one of your supposed sons has had a gender swap. Again, if this is a moan about friends for 20+ years ago, surely the situation has resolved by now? Or are they still going on about your marriage and children in middle age? This is all bizarre actually...

Single friends moan now we are married are a boring couple???

Your title suggests this is happening now, not that you've been holding a grudge about it for decades.

@ThePerturbedPenguin, how am I being a dick pointing out that the op is writing a situation that isn’t actually happening to her at the moment? Am I not allowed to find it odd?

Baskerville I take your point you do not have to be married co-habiting investing in a home takes just as much money.

My DIL went on a hen weekend, she is the only one with a partner/kids and noticed the difference in spending power compared to her single past uni. friends.

My beef is that it is the woman who is blamed when a couple withdraw from the social whirl due to economical circumstances or just the natural consequence of being a couple.

I think if this all happened 20 odd years ago and you are still friends with them, then let it goooooooo! It’s was barely an issue then, let alone now!