To wonder why mumsnetters

[Aprillygirl]

find it impossible to put things in a pan or the oven in a normal manner. They're always throwing,lobbing,chucking,bunging and hurling things around in the kitchen. It's so unnecessary and quite frankly dangerous! Do they have signs on their doors 'Keep out flying joints of meat about' or 'Risk of injury by potato.Enter at your own peril.' Do their family have to don hard hats before entering? What IS this phenomenon that causes these people to be so aggressive towards their food?

Also I don't like "opt " very much.
I think because it reminds me of Take A Break weight loss stories "Jane gave up on her usual lunch, opting instead for healthy salads. In time etc etc"

Jane will have opted to eat less and move more, having also worked out how many calories she can actually eat a day and "maintain not gain" as advised by the many size 6s who claim to hate cake and always appear on any fitness tips thread. Jayne is sadly savouring her last ever quaver before carrot sticks beckon - but it's a small price to pay for the joy of fitting into a Boden Breton.

Most tv chefs talk like that

'Super' seems to be gaining traction.

As in 'I was super worried' rather than 'I was really worried'.

Another American import I suppose.

Oh dear. I made a lemon drizzle cake yesterday. I have been alone in the house since it came out of the oven. It appears to be down to the last slice.

I should probably resign from MN.

@GeorgetheBleeder can I have it? I'll swap you a slice of the sachertorte I'm whizzing up knocking out lovingly toiling over just popping in the ovenbaking. I love cake!

I would very much like people to stop using ‘gifted’ instead of gave.

It’s journalese though, isn’t it? Everywhere has its style guide. Take a Break always refers to tots. I have legit never heard anyone say tots in life.

I find the same with "stepping out" for anytime someone leaves their house and "slamming" or "blasting" someone, meaning disagreeing strongly with them.
The trouble is, imo, with "expressive" language can be that it becomes cliched and tired itself if overused.

God forbid people write descriptively.

@TheCanterburyWhales

That made me smile. Could really picture the leggy blonde city type racing into her Farrow and Ball Railings hallway ready to sort that dinner out.

Take a Break weight loss stories have their own house style, too. 'I was always a big girl my whole family was. We loved a cheeky Nando's and always piled our plates high. I was always the life and soul of the party, the bubbly type no one would have known how much I hated myself as the scales crept higher.'

Accompanied by the inevitable photo of a orange woman crammed into a Nice Dress and blowdry and holding her giant Trousers of Fat Shame. And the inevitable before photo. Possible one of a plate piled high.

Or the Daily Mail doing its classic 'Z-list Celeb showcasing her curves poolside in Dubai in a tiny string bikini' thing. Or random Hollywood actress who is clearly barely awake and has clearly thrown on some clothes to go to the shop: 'X opted for a simple teeshirt with black leggings with pink detail and simple sandals, and her hair drawn back from her make-up free face.'

I actually think the idea is to communicate just how efficient and competent the poster is in the kitchen (and sometimes, by extension, as a parent). ‘Easy weeknight meals? I just throw together a lasagne, bung a massive salad in a bowl and whizz up a fresh dressing. The DC wolf it down!’
I think it's exactly that bellajay, which is probably why I find it irritating,especially when the offending sentences are preceded by the dreaded words "It's not hard to"

A nice distinction is fine. I’m quite partial to that myself.

This thread made me chuckle.

I do like the word pop though.

The thing with overly expressive language is that it's trying to make fairly mundane, ordinary tasks sound amazing. Why do it?

Though on the cooking front, can I blame Jamie Oliver for promoting getting hands into anything and everything that's being prepped. Stop with silly been choices and get your hands out the mince.

Hop in the shower and Bob round.

One legged wet people and nodding visitors.

Also, 'swing by' what, like Tarzan?

And 'fry off the onions or whatever'. TV chefs are lot of wankers and have a lot to answer to.

In MN world nobody ever goes anywhere. They’re always ‘heading’ to places.

Once, in Colorado, I innocently mused to a roomful of people in huge hats and cowboy boots that in England we didn’t say ‘horseback riding’ - because what other part of the animal might one possibly ride? Man ... I was popular.

‘Pan fried’ is a lost cause now but yes, ‘frying off’ is unspeakably eurgh.

In MN world nobody ever goes anywhere. They’re always ‘heading’ to places.
And when they're not heading to places, they sit inside and curse anyone who dares knock at the door or call them without prebooking an appointment at least 3 weeks in advance...

... and yet the house must always be visitor ready at all times, for visitors who would never be let in if they turned up unannounced.

@GeorgeTheBleeder did you 'wolf' it down?

Same reason no-one seems to be able to get a coffee or lunch - it has to be grabbed.

American TV.

Wait, what?

This post has me horribly confused. It's like badlydrawnperson is reacting to someone up thread blamed American tv, but no one mentioned it until this post. Feel like I'm going mad trying to figure it out!!

Though I too, like another poster, blame Jamie Oliver. Does he watch too much American TV on his teeny tiny TV?

(However, I don't think Americans pop anywhere or anything, except balloons and possibly the odd weasel. I might stand to be corrected but popping seems to be an English thing.)

Food inhalation - urgh.
The HUGE salads that are thrown together.
Veggies - Please STOP IT. I cannot tell you what I want to do to the people who use this short form, just say VEGETABLES or VEGETARIAN as necessary.

Hmm. I quite often chuck, but would never bung. That’s just too obscene.

While we are on the topic, why do people ‘swing’ when driving? It’s always ‘swing a left’ ?

So this is why there's so much ruddy cleaning up to do when DH cooks - he's been getting tips on mumsnet. He literally does chuck food at pans, bins, etc...