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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF vulture picking over my dead mum's belongings.

73 replies

GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery · 22/05/2019 06:03

Not an AIBU strictly speaking, but wanted to share this CF situation I had yesterday with you.

So, I unfortunately lost my mum 4 weeks ago.

Sadly, my mum didn't own her home, nor did she have much money, so while clearing out her place (which she recently decorated on a budget and furnished) I have been listing her belongings on Facebook Marketplace, to raise money for her ashes to be interred.

CF messaged me on Friday, wanting to buy her desktop printer. Fine. However, it was my mum's funeral on Friday, so I didn't read and reply obviously.

He keeps on sending more messages through the day to get me to reply, he's keen and not to know I'm at my mum's funeral, so I ignored him.

I finally reply on Saturday, it's £15 for a fairly new £45 Epson printer. He agrees he wants it and we arrange for him to collect from my mum's yesterday, as I'm there again doing more sorting and cleaning.

He texts to say he's on his way and adds "£10, okay?" Um, no dude. Not okay. It's £15. He arrives and I tell him it's £15. He starts pulling a face, I'm like, "As you can see, this is an old people's accommodation, not my house. I've lost my mum and raising money to bury her. So it's £15. The software is all there unopened, it's good as new!"

He very reluctantly pays up (from a big wad of £20s incidentally!) and asks what other things I am selling, so I show him around. He says he likes a beautiful side table and asks how much. I say £20. He replies, "But can I have it for free?" I repeat that sadly not, I'm raising money to bury my mum remember?

He then starts poking around all of my mum's meagre belongings and asks, "So what is here, that I can take for free then?"

Absolutely nothing you fucking vulture, piss off!

I didn't say that, as I was of course 'terribly British' and apologised that nothing was for free.

To be honest, anything that is left will go to a deserving local charity, not to a CF.

He took his printer and pissed off. Fucking wanker.

Some people are beyond disgusting aren't they?

OP posts:
IvanaPee · 22/05/2019 07:30

People on those fb selling things are weird anyway. So rude and demanding all the time!

It baffles me!

What an utter prick he is. So sorry for your loss. Flowers

PerfectPeony2 · 22/05/2019 07:30

God. Some people are vile. It would have been great if you’d told him to piss off but he sounds like a lowlife and you were in a vulnerable situation being alone.

Facebook marketplace is mostly good but I’ve found I’ve very much had to screen people- if they look or sound dodgy I just don’t reply.

Sorry about your Mum, and I hope you were able to raise enough money. Flowers

Davespecifico · 22/05/2019 07:33

He’s a dealer. It’s what they do. They did this at the start of car boots.
I would have shown him the door.

OpalTree · 22/05/2019 07:36

Who is the cf?

IvanaPee · 22/05/2019 07:39

What do you mean by dealer?

BarnabasTheMaineCoon · 22/05/2019 07:49

He's a cunt. I had this happen when I was selling up to move cross country once.

Afternoonteadelight · 22/05/2019 07:49

Dealer means they want stuff for next to nothing so they can sell it on for a profit for themselves .

TheQueef · 22/05/2019 08:11

Dealers here either eBay or have a second hand shop.
They are renown for house clearances where they ransacked the place, take everything of value and leave the junk and rubbish for you to sort.
Really bullish twats.

Aprillygirl · 22/05/2019 08:12

What a fucking liberty! I really don't understand the mentality of some people. If you're advertising things for sale it obviously means you need the money, or else you'd give the items to friends or charity rather than some callous cheeky fucker stranger wouldn't you? Confused Anyway i hope after all that you managed to raise the money you needed OP and my condolences to you for your sad loss Flowers

IvanaPee · 22/05/2019 08:20

Thanks, Afternoon!

Liverbird77 · 22/05/2019 08:22

Sorry for your loss, OP.
That man was disgraceful.

TheFaerieQueene · 22/05/2019 08:31

I’m so sorry you had to go through that OP. I lost my DF a month ago, so I know how you feel.

bakedbeanzontoast · 22/05/2019 08:36

Oh good god FB MKTplace is cheeky fuck central!! I don't know what's more stressful my job or flogging there!

I am sorry for your loss OP.

bakedbeanzontoast · 22/05/2019 08:36

Oh good god FB MKTplace is cheeky fuck central!! I don't know what's more stressful my job or flogging there!

I am sorry for your loss OP.

Sexnotgender · 22/05/2019 08:39

So sorry for your loss Flowers

He sounds like an absolute arsehole. I’d have refused to sell him the printer after all that.

Missingstreetlife · 22/05/2019 08:44

Sorry for your trouble.
I think ppl do expect to haggle about secondhand goods. The answer is to ask a high price and they will offer low, then meet in the middle at the price you want. Or state clearly No Offers.

CrotchetyQuaver · 22/05/2019 08:55

Sorry for your loss OP. He sounds awful. I've not had too much trouble selling stuff on FB marketplace. A few time wasters and some really ridiculously cheeky offers and then she called me rude when I said errr No WTF but it's all sold. I've been lucky by the sounds of it. I have some garden furniture to advertise, maybe I'm going to have every oddball in my area responding nowConfused at least you were able to spot the creep for what he is even through your medically induced haze. I hope things get better for you very soon Thanks

cocodash · 22/05/2019 08:57

Sorry for your loss OP, that really is CF of the highest order.

EVERY time i have sold something like this had happened. We sold our lazyboi couch/suite a few months ago, agreed on a price of £500. They came to house to view with potential to pick up there and then, they loved it and wanted it and they said they only had £400 with them and asked if that was okay... eh NO.

then they moaned that they had come all the way to pick it up and didnt have their bank card and if they had to go all the way home and return then i should at least be covering the cost of their time and petrol and should knock £50 off the price.

CF everywhere.

TheOrigFV45 · 22/05/2019 09:02

The day after my Mum died my BIL was sniffing around looking for the charger for her GameBoy as he had lost his. Some people have no shame or awareness.

GodDammitAmy · 22/05/2019 09:15

So sorry for your loss. I had similar when I lost my dad. Agreed to sell an expensive item of furniture to the W, H turns up with a big wodge of cash and knocks £100 off the price. I was too exhausted to stand up for myself and it still pisses me off 7 years later. Who the fuck takes advantage of someone grieving?

stepup123 · 22/05/2019 09:17

Oh, what a horrible insensitive man :( it would have pissed me off too.
I'm sorry for the loss of your Mum.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/05/2019 09:18

I think ppl do expect to haggle about secondhand goods. The answer is to ask a high price and they will offer low, then meet in the middle at the price you want. Or state clearly No Offers.

Potential buyers haggling on the price before the price and sale are agreed = absolutely fine

Turning up to complete the sale and asking for more money off = very cheeky, but maybe OK-ish if said jocularly in a 'just-trying-my-luck-but-expecting-a-No' kind of way

Asking if any other items are for sale and, if so, what the prices may be = absolutely fine

Ignoring the stated price and not even haggling but asking if you can have it free = extremely obnoxious behaviour

Sniffing around and making it clear that you want/expect something free and badgering the owner to hand free goods over (especially when they've told you they need the money to pay for a funeral or similar) = absolutely reprehensible

Mustbetimeforachange · 22/05/2019 09:28

Yup, we had this too. Also middle aged men using on line names such as Sophie or Emma. Never had a Sophie or an Emma turn up funnily enough (this was freecycle mostly), usually an Asian man.

Notabedofroses · 22/05/2019 09:33

Holy shit. There is a special place in hell for him op. Karma will fix this for you.

So sorry for the loss of your mother Flowers

Boysey45 · 22/05/2019 09:36

Sorry for your loss OP, you get this all the time when selling things.
The best way forward is to say the price you want and no offers/haggling/ timewasters etc. Get someone to be with you when you are selling things on as well.