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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is snoring a reasonable grounds for manslaughter ?

59 replies

habibihabibi · 22/05/2019 04:49

My DH is perfectly nice in the day but increasingly turns into some type of hippo human hybrid and snores like a steam train all night.
I'm at the edge of reason.

OP posts:
SignedUpJust4This · 22/05/2019 07:20

Yes it's fine and I will help you get rid of the body. Drives me insane.

TapasForTwo · 22/05/2019 07:23

Medievalist and Noeuf it sounds like your husbands have sleep apnoea. They absolutely must see their GP.

OH has sleep apnoea, and had had a silent stroke. He now uses CPAP machine. People with untreated sleep apnoea shouldn't be driving BTW.

QueenArnica · 22/05/2019 07:29

I forced my dh to the doctors because his snoring was ruining me... turns out he had sleep apnoea, now wears a specially made mouth guard bed and harmony is restored!

Medievalist · 22/05/2019 08:37

Tapas - I totally agree. He has spoken to the GP about it a couple of times. The last time I went with him. GP was very dismissive. Wouldn't listen to my recording ("I know what snoring sounds like"). Suggested I wear earplugs (have tried various varieties and they all make my inner ear itch). Suggested I sleep in the spare room (I sleep in DS's room when he's away at uni). 🤷‍♀️

DH is very defensive and just gets cross if I ask him to go back to see a different GP. If I have a sleepless night for other reasons when we've slept in different rooms he takes this as evidence that I have sleep issues and it's not his snoring that's the problem. I do have sleep issues - after 20 years of having my sleep disrupted by him I go to bed anxious about whether I will get a good night's sleep - which means I have problems getting to sleep or getting back to sleep if I wake during the night.

It was only using the SnoreLab app that got him to acknowledge how loud his snoring can be.

cocodash · 22/05/2019 08:42

34 weeks pregnant here and DH snoring is slowly driving me to insanity.

Ive given up rolling him over and soon as he starts i go through to spare room THEN I CAN STILL HEAR HIM THROUGH THE FUCKING WALL.

Go ahead, kill your husband, when the police phone i will tell them you were with me all day. solid alibi.

HomeTheatreSystem · 22/05/2019 08:47

Yes, snoring is highly annoying. I punched my OH in the nose for it once and woke him up and he was really angry though, so make sure you hit him hard enough to kill him.

Grin

It is pretty unbearable...ended up using a water pistol on him. Still got no sleep because I was giggling so much but it felt much better than all the ragey adrenaline coursing through my body.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 22/05/2019 08:48

Womanslaughter is not unreasonable either. DW can be heard, not just through the wall, or the floor, or from the garden, but from the street.

Hotseat · 22/05/2019 08:52

Justifiable homicide imho.

MrsMozartMkII · 22/05/2019 08:52

It's amazing just how intense the murderous feeling can be when woken again and again (and again and again and again!).

I once made it to a wonderfully deep sleep and one of those so loud snort sounds dragged me up from the deep depths, a bit like a fish being reeled up through dark water to the light, and it was bloody horrible. Now I'll wobble off to the spare room at the first sound of snoring going beyond the gentle "he's still alive" type.

In DH's case it's due to being overweight. Something that's being addressed for many reasons!

madcatladyforever · 22/05/2019 08:55

YANBU I snore like a hog. I had to share a room with a colleague on a course once and she said she considered murdering me.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 22/05/2019 09:04

DH currently has a frozen shoulder so keeps rolling onto his back and doing a sort of buh-buh-buh gnarg-gnarg blurt sort of noise. I haven't killed him yet as it's bin day tomorrow and it's his job to put them out.
I am sympathetic as his shoulder causes him a lot of pain but disrupted sleep is horrible. Ds2 didn't sleep through until he was three. We're two years past that now and I still feel like I'm in recovery.

highlighta · 22/05/2019 09:14

Oh gawd I am so very with you Habibi.

I am in a newish relationships and I swear this is becoming close to a dealbreaker. Not sure who gets the most upset, me at not being able to sleep a decent nights sleep (and being single for years means that I have become accustomed to a full nights sleep) and then I am so grumpy, or him as he finds out I have cleared off to the couch to at least get some sleep.

I really really like him so much, in the day. At night, not so much.

He says hes going to arrange to do a sleep study when he gets back (he works away) so lets see.

I tried earplugs which did FA. I bought some more silicone ones but I think i have extra small lugs as they are way too big.

And I suffer with misophonia which in itself is a huge issue.

Sigh. He is so lovely too.

Have folks always snored this much?? As i don't ever remember hearing my mum and dad snore, or have issues with snoring. As DP snore so loud I can still hear him from the couch.

Damntheman · 22/05/2019 09:18

@Medievalist my dad snored like that. You have my sympathies! It used to drive me absolutely nutty as a teenager listening to him through the wall.

TapasForTwo · 22/05/2019 09:23

Have folks always snored this much??

We are a fatter nation, so maybe not. I don't know.

Can I reiterate that anyone who has a snoring problem really needs to see their GP if over the counter remedies don't work. Sleep apnoea is an increasing problem and doctors are taking it far more seriously than they used to.

Medievalist · 22/05/2019 09:30

DH is very fit, not overweight and doesn't drink much. He does have allergies though which are particularly bad at the moment and which encourage mouth-breathing ...

Minai · 22/05/2019 10:41

My husband sounds like a warthog when he is asleep. He’s fine on his side but when he is on his back he is so loud and he either won’t roll over, or does and rolls back 2 mins later. I genuinely hate him when he’s asleep and this progresses to murderous when the snoring wakes the baby and I have to deal with it Angry

ThinkWittyThoughts · 22/05/2019 17:36

I love the idea that you're not going to kill your DH because it's bin day tomorrow Grin

Notmymonkeys · 22/05/2019 18:04

Oh most definitely yes. As is the god-awful chomping sound dh makes in his sleep. It makes me want to crawl under the bed and die.

SouthWestmom · 22/05/2019 18:24

@TapasForTwo what are the signs? He's put on weight although not wobbly fat (yet). And snores in pauses for a while then sometimes does snorty snoring and then wet snoring. How does it get diagnosed?

learieonthewildmoor · 22/05/2019 18:24

I start thinking about which garden bed to put him under when he has the audacity to complain when I snore.

dementedpixie · 22/05/2019 18:28

Sleep apnoea gets diagnosed through sleep studies. Dh had 2. He had to wear equipment that registered his breathing/snoring/any pauses in breathing

Nyctophilia · 22/05/2019 18:54

Kill him, kill him right in the face

TapasForTwo · 22/05/2019 23:33

Noeuf the first step is to visit the GP who can then refer to the sleep clinic. They provide the snorer with equipment thst monitors their breathing overnight. OH was stopping breathing 50 times an hour!

He was provided with a CPAP machine, and no longer stops breathing and no longer snores.

He is a medical mystery because he is very skinny.

goose1964 · 23/05/2019 00:07

I have sleep apnoea and it is not just the snoring that I had. I used to fall asleep at the drop of a hat, where ever I was. If I was sat down and not actively doing anything I'd be asleep immediately. I was also drained mentally due to lack of sleep, despite the impression of 10-12 hours a night.
A doctor will ask you to complete an Epworth scale form. It asks how likely you are to fall asleep in certain circumstances.

www.blf.org.uk/support-for-you/obstructive-sleep-apnoea-osa/diagnosis/epworth-sleepiness-scale

PickAChew · 23/05/2019 00:09

Live by the sword...

If he snores like a tractor, you need to run him over with one.