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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I being racist?

163 replies

bullywee · 21/05/2019 19:22

In work today we were going through a list of names, discussing each person. The vast majority were English names and were easily pronouncable. There was one non-English name which was a difficult to pronounce (to me). Prior to saying this name, I said apologies for any mispronounciation and attempted to pronounce the name.

Anyway, long story short, my line manager pulled me aside after the meeting and said I was being racist because I implied it was "unpronouncable".

Was I? I was genuinely only pre apologising for any mispronounciation but not sure after the verbal bollocking I got.

OP posts:
Teaandcrisps · 21/05/2019 21:43

The level of racial awareness on MN is shocking, but of course I'm just too PC or what was it too 'woke'.

Walks off from dumbass thread.

Over and out

LimeKiwi · 21/05/2019 21:46

As if you're going to get called a racist for saying you want black coffee! That's the most ridiculous thing I've read on MN and that's saying something lol. Grin
As for OP, well, it depends on tone and context, doesn't it?
Seeing as none of us were there, it's impossible to say.
Was it like Celeb Big Brother years ago with Shilpa?
Now that was. Saying along the lines of couldn't even begin to pronounce and Poppadom etc.
Were you inadvertently like that , even if not as blatant?!
As there's nothing wrong or racist about making a mistake.
People in the room with you will be better able to say what it was like than internet randoms who weren't.

VladmirsPoutine · 21/05/2019 21:46

My brother worked for a London local authority and was given a talking to for responding when asked if he wanted a coffee, that he said can I have black coffee no sugar.

Sure he did.

everything's racial to the point where even other minorities are saying why does everything have to be racial.

Sure they did.

LolaSmiles · 21/05/2019 21:49

If it was just a few staff going through lists then it's a non issue if something is pronounced incorrectly. Anyone with common sense knows that some names can be tricky to pronounce.

There might be a chance if after/around any challenging name you were apologising and fussing about it that colleagues might have thought 'just get on with it so we can get through the list' and someone more woke took it as proving a point about some names rather than mildly annoying fuss.

Original poster
bullywee · 21/05/2019 21:50

Huaijin (I think that is the spelling). I pronounced it "Hugh-a-gin" but I think after incessant googling it may be "wa-shin".

OP posts:
Original poster
bullywee · 21/05/2019 21:52

Huaijin (I think that was the spelling). I phonetically pronounced it "Hugh-a-gin". After incesdant googling I think it is pronounced "wa-shin".

OP posts:
TenPastEleven · 21/05/2019 21:52

tea and crisps no offence to you! I genuinely want to know what would have been the better thing to do? because I am not sure if I was in that position I would have done anything very different to OP, and I work in an environment which is very consciously inclusive and diversity aware and I would not know what else to do if I was faced with a name I genuinely hadn't a clue how to begin to pronounce.

madcatladyforever · 21/05/2019 21:54

What crap there are plenty of English names I can't pronounce and I'd apologise for that ffs.

LimeKiwi · 21/05/2019 21:57

To be fair, if you pronounced like huge a gin it could have sounded like you were taking the piss especially if you giggled (not saying you did, just that your tone and body language would be important here!)
Again, we weren't there so only guessing Smile

BertrandRussell · 21/05/2019 22:03

@JQBased did you know that you’re not allowed to say “Happy Christmas” any more-you have to say “Happy Winterval”. And kids don’t study history at school-it’s called herstory now.

MilkLady02 · 21/05/2019 22:04

I would ask your manager what would be the correct PC thing to do in this situation? I agree what you said is not racist, so ask them how they would like you to deal with a similar situation in future, for clarity! And smile sweetly!

BertrandRussell · 21/05/2019 22:20

OP- request a formal meeting with your manager, and ask exactly what you said that he considered racist. Then take it from there. Nobody on here can possibly know what happened, or whether there was idiocy, or misunderstanding or racism. You need to ask.

newtlover · 21/05/2019 22:22

BR you forgot Baa Baa rainbow sheep, chalkboards, and...er....binbags

LimeKiwi · 21/05/2019 22:34

Binbags Grin

BertrandRussell · 21/05/2019 22:40

My husband held a door open for a woman once and she really, really shouted at him....

newtlover · 21/05/2019 22:43
Grin DH told me he can't even tell a colleague she looks nice these days...
newtlover · 21/05/2019 22:44

Oh, and he once was in a playground and a child fell over and he didn't dare pick it up and comfort it

VladmirsPoutine · 21/05/2019 22:49

My DH once told a female academic that he'd been following her work for quite sometime and she told him to stop stalking her...

ElizaPancakes · 21/05/2019 22:50

@BogglesGoggles why? Genuine question. She was reading a list and at some point said 'I'm going to mangle the pronunciation of this name' or something similar. It's not racist or rude to admit you haven't got a clue about foreign words and names.

BogglesGoggles · 21/05/2019 23:16

@elizapancakes it’s rude not to make an effort (she pronounced if Hugh a gin fgs) and then it’s rude to draw attention to it but simultaneously brush it off as being the name that’s at fault. You either Make sure you get it right (by googling or asking before hand in private) or you try your best and hope you haven’t embarrassed yourself out of ignorance. You definitely don’t draw attention to it.

ElizaPancakes · 21/05/2019 23:21

I'm sorry I still don't understand what you mean. If she didn't know how to pronounce it, she didn't know. She wasn't saying it hugh a gin to be funny? If you're not familiar with Chinese names, how would have any idea how to pronounce it?

I don't understand why you think she's brushing it off as the name being at fault by saying she's not going to be able to pronounce it? She's admitting the failure is hers? Why is it better to say 'Hugh a gin....I think, I'm sorry I know I've pronounced that incorrectly' than to say 'I know I'm going to pronounce this incorrectly, is it Hugh a gin?'

I'm genuinely not trying to be argumentative, just that personally I'd prefer someone to say they didn't know how to pronounce it or ask me how to rather than them have a crack and force me to have to correct them.

BadLad · 21/05/2019 23:22

DH told me he can't even tell a colleague she looks nice these days

How dare you use the c word?

It's "Person of equivalent employer" now.

There's talk of removing the "lent", in case it offends non-Christians, so it might be "People of equiva employer" soon.

BlackPrism · 21/05/2019 23:56

No, you were apologising if you said someone name wrong... hardly racist. I can't pronounce the longest place in wales but it doesn't mean I hate the welsh 😂

Whatdidthecardsay · 22/05/2019 00:05

@teaandcrisps
Don’t you think you’re jumping here? Plenty of British names are difficult to pronounce, if it’s a combination of letters in a sequence you’ve not seen or heard before you’re not going to know are you? To say so doesn’t imply there’s an issue with the name, just that the person saying it hasn’t experienced verbalising that word before.

KinderSurpriseBump · 22/05/2019 00:17

As long as you didn't sound like you're making a joke about it. I don't see any potential sort of racism. Your manager probably wouldn't have the same reaction if you were struggling with an Irish name, which can be quite tricky as well.