To send DC to Nursery?

[Baddabo]

I'm a first time Mum to a 10 month old. He goes to Nursery Thursdays and Fridays whilst I work.

He's currently poorly. Some sort of cough, cold, etc. Current temperature of 38.5 - I've also caught whatever DC has and feel dreadful. Sore throat, nasty chest cough, high temp, snotty, etc.

This is the first time he has been poorly. My dilemma is, if he's not better in time for nursery, do I send him or not?

I only returned from Mat Leave beginning of May so the thought of taking time off my first month back doesn't thrill me. I worked FT before and upon my return, arranged a job share with someone (who I personally recommended to the company) and they started beginning of May too but they've been off sick this week, so again, that puts me off taking any time off. My doing part time hours is also subject to a three month probation to make sure it works well for the company. Added to which, I can't really afford to lose even a days pay.

However, after looking on the NHS website, it says to keep them away from nursery, etc. With a temperature.

So if he's still poorly or worse on Thurs, do I send him to nursery or not?

Can his dad not take any time off given you've only just gone back?

If you keep him off every time he has a temperature, cough/ cold symptoms seriously he will never be in nursery and you will never be in work. Calpol and make sure nursery keep him dosed up throughout the day.

I think he should probably be ok by Thursday. If he still has a temperature you'll have to keep him off.

He could and would if I asked him to but he earns so much more than me, we'd be worse off financially if he took a day off than if I did.

It's tight month to month anyway financially, but it would be a real worry for next month, even losing a days worth of my wages.

Yes, I'm hoping we'll both be fine by then but thought I'd ask the question now, just in case, so, if he isnt okay by then, I'll know what to do.

Hopefully he’ll be better on Thursday.
But you know how he feels because you have it too, and added to that he’s little and doesn’t understand what’s happening, so perhaps he should be with a parent.
If he’s up and playing happily even with a runny nose, I‘d send him.

When I returned from maternity leave it was clear that DH would take all DD’s sick days for around 4-6 months. He used annual leave, but I found it more important to show that we could make this work.

If he only sniffles you can send him. I wouldn’t send a child with temperature and I def wouldn’t dose up a child and expect the nursery to medicate it. Ours actually only gave prescribed medication anyway.

It may e worth it him taking a day of in the long run though because your job may decided you job sharing is not working .
Any friends that could help out?

If hes got a temp still he wont be feeling well and it wont be fair to him or the other children.

General cough cold is fine to go in. But I'm sure he will be fine by Friday x

You have a right to take unpaid leave to look after a sick child, so stop feeling guilty When they first start nursery is when they're most likely to be ill. Can you or your partner take annual leave? Or get an emergency nanny?

Your nursery will have rules on this. My son's nursery wouldn't take kids with a temperature and certainly wouldn't give Calpol.

If he still has a temp by Thursday don’t send him. Our DD was off ill pretty much every second week during her first 4 months of nursery. Her immune system is a lot better now, we were just very unlucky. It was a nightmare, we struggled on and juggled work but never sent her in when she had a temperature or a bug. A cough or a cold without a temperature then fair enough, she went. Unfortunately not every parent does the same and that’s why our DD kept getting ill.

Do you have parental days you can take if necessary or have any family that can help? I sympathise as it’s really not easy.

If he is still ill or worse by Thursday then of course you don't send him .

Our nursery sends children home if their temp is over 38, they will give a dose of calpol (if forms signed), but only as a cover until you can pick up

Well, yes, if he still has a temperature then I won't send him to Nursery but, of course, I'm worried about work.

It doesnt look good taking time off during my first month back. I already feel guilty about the fact that the person I recommended as my job share has taken the week off sick. My employer has put a lot of faith in my return and really wanted me to return FT, they hope I can get things running smoothly again as lots of things have been neglected since I left so I want to do my absolute best to prove that their faith isn't misplaced.

Not to mention I really could do without losing the money.

Annual leave is not an option, my partner has to book his a month in advance and he's booked it already for August for having his children.

Nursery will send him home anyway if he is Calpol dependent for temperature, or if he is obviously struggling.
It is almost inevitable that a child gets sick in their first few weeks of nursery - between the extra exposure there, and having extra exposure via mum returning to work. It happens almost every time. (Most new nursery staff get sick in the first month too!)
Work will just have to deal with it, to be honest! Hopefully he'll be well enough though and it'll be a non issue.

I remember one parent we called to collect for a temperature who then confessed to (and apologised for) sending her DC in after Calpol as her boss had given her a hard time for being off, but she knew he couldn't do much if we had called her at work as it proved it genuine.
While we totally understood, it was dangerous. We have written permission to give Calpol in case of high temperature, in case we can't get hold of a parent. If we hadn't been able to get through we could have given that child another full dose two hours early without anyone knowing it to be the case!

There’s a good chance he’ll be better by Thursday but if he’s got a temperature and is ill enough to need calpol then he can’t go to nursery.

Does your husband get paid by the day then? Or does he just not Like to take time off?

I would either insist dad takes the day off or send him to nursery and hope for the best- better to be called back than to miss work in the first place. I agree it looks bad in your first month back and would do whatever I could to avoid!

Yes, you're right.

DS had a rash two weeks ago, another first for him since being at Nursery, I took him to the Drs who said it was a viral infection and nothing to worry about but he was fine to go to Nursery because other than the rash he had no symptoms, no temp, etc. I phoned the nursery before I sent him in just to double check they were happy to take him and explained all of the above, they said it was fine but should he start presenting any symptoms or seem unwell in any way, they'd call me to collect him straight away.

So, I'd imagine, they wouldn't take him should he still have a temperature or be reliant on calpol. Nor would I want to send him with a temperature anyway.

If he hasn't improved I'll keep him home and let my workplace know. Will just have to scrimp a bit more next month!

Thanks for all the advice

See how he is after calpol, if he's happy playing, with no fever, I'd send him in. Babies and toddlers get coughs and colds a lot, you can't take time off every time they have a mild cold.

When my DD was in the nursery baby room they used to let you send calpol in when they had a cold/teething etc and the staff would give it to them when needed, you just had to sign the chart at the end of the day.

@Passthecherrycoke I dont know how they work out his pay but I know that previously if he's taken a day off sick, he would lose a days wage in his next pay packet. Same as me if I have needed to take time off sick.

He would be happy to take a day off if I asked him too but we'd be worse off financially if he takes the day off than if I do.

He can't use annual leave instead to avoid losing money as he has to book it a month in advance and as said previously, he has booked his remaining leave to spend with his children in the summer holidays.

I could ask my employer though, if I need to take the day, whether they'd let me take it as annual leave. They may do.

My biggest concern is the impression it gives taking time off my first month back but I can't see a viable alternative if DS is still poorly.

Knowing kids, he'll probably be OK by Thursday. You may not be but you don't have to be in nursery :-).

A baby that age we’d call the parents to collect with a high temp. They can spike dangerously high very quickly.

It’s also unfair to expose other young babies to anything more than a basic sniffle.

Our nursery actually gives a 48 hr ban on any child who is sent home with a temp. Do you have any close family or friends who can have your little boy on Thursday?
Hopefully the high temp will be over by Thursday and he will just be a bit snotty.

He would be happy to take a day off if I asked him too but we'd be worse off financially if he takes the day off than if I do.

This may be true in the short term but if you are trying to show your employer that your arrangement can work it may be worth taking the financial hit this time to ensure the long term viability of your job.

Keep in mind that the reason your child is ill now is because another child passed it on to him. Most likely that child’s parents didn’t know he was ill at that time but if your child has a temperature or is quite poorly you obviously know he is contagious, and it would be really crappy to send him in. (Not to mention very unfair to him— a poorly baby needs to be home resting.) I know work is important right now but every other parent has important things to do . Another parent could have a job interview, a big presentation, be a doctor with seriously ill patients waiting, or anything else that is just as important to them as your job is to you. It’s not fair to put your needs above their needs and more importantly their children’s wellness.