To send DC to Nursery?

[Baddabo]

I'm a first time Mum to a 10 month old. He goes to Nursery Thursdays and Fridays whilst I work.

He's currently poorly. Some sort of cough, cold, etc. Current temperature of 38.5 - I've also caught whatever DC has and feel dreadful. Sore throat, nasty chest cough, high temp, snotty, etc.

This is the first time he has been poorly. My dilemma is, if he's not better in time for nursery, do I send him or not?

I only returned from Mat Leave beginning of May so the thought of taking time off my first month back doesn't thrill me. I worked FT before and upon my return, arranged a job share with someone (who I personally recommended to the company) and they started beginning of May too but they've been off sick this week, so again, that puts me off taking any time off. My doing part time hours is also subject to a three month probation to make sure it works well for the company. Added to which, I can't really afford to lose even a days pay.

However, after looking on the NHS website, it says to keep them away from nursery, etc. With a temperature.

So if he's still poorly or worse on Thurs, do I send him to nursery or not?

My nursery would send my LO home with a temperature, not fair to schlep the child in knowing you will be called to pick him back up.

Honestly OP this is the norm, my LO and me were both sick in her first two months of nursery (not continually but on and off). Your employer will understand, and your OH can take some of the burden to take unpaid careers leave (assuming you are well enough to go to work)- your child has two parents!

I do understand your dilemma, as you don't want to piss work off. But no I wouldn't send him to nursery with a temperature. Especially because as others have said, you know how ill he feels and I think he needs to be being cared for at home. Secondly it isn't fair on other parents who will have to take off if their child catches it. Thirdly because they will probably just call you to come and get him if he has a temperature and is unwell. My dc always got sent home when they developed a temperature at childcare.

My first port of call would be to find a family member to have him. Would this be an option?

I would take the hit with your dhs wage especially being so newly back. I do feel for you as we would have similar with my dh losing money but it looks better career wise to share or at least have them do some.

Of course you shouldn't send him if he's unwell! It's not fair on him, the nursery staff or the other children - because you don't want to take time off work, you'll spread the germs & then other parents are screwed! Used to really bloody wind me up when people sent their sick kids to nursery/school!! Why is their job any more important than mine?? Let alone the suffering my child will have to endure by catching whatever illness!!

Believe me this will happen again and again for at least the first year at nursery, our kids were off on average once a fortnight until they were over 2 - high temps, stomach bugs, etc. Check your nursery policy but ours won't accept children who have had to have Calpol to keep a temperature down. So unfortunately you need to factor in that you could be taking this financial hit on a regular basis for quite some time. (And on top of that there's all the extra days you're sick having caught their bugs!)

I would say taking a hit on your DH’s wages is the better solution long term. You need to prove that your new arrangement works and that you have a partner who takes his share as well.

I would ask your DH to take the day off. I’ve “returned to work” three times now from Mat leave and the most important thing is making sure those first few months “work” and that your employer knows your dh has taken the day off.

It’s worth it in the long run. It’s ridiculous that each time you have a baby you need to rebuild the goodwill you already built up before hand but it’s the unfortunate reality. Once you’ve been back for a while and rebuilt your reputation you can take the odd sick day without them batting an eyelid.

Your DH should definitely take the time off if you need to keep him off.

But I would send him if he seems happy enough. You literally can't keep them off for every bug they catch or you'd never be at work.

He's still poorly today. Still has a temperature. Didnt sleep well overnight because of his cough and runny nose. Doesnt really want to play. Keeps having lots of very short cat naps but inevitably wakes himself up coughing or because his nose is blocked. He usually has a short morning nap and a longer afternoon nap with lots of eating and playing in between. Now he just wants to nap and cuddle. Only wants milk. No food. :(

My boss actually phoned me this morning, pretty desperate, despite it not being my day to work, he asked what the chances of me being able to come in today were, one of my colleagues is off and was yesterday too, leaving just one person holding the fort.

I explained about DS and said, although I'd love to help out today, I really can't. I then said, if ds isnt better tomorrow, chances of me being able to make it in are slim, though I'd do my best but explained the nursery wouldn't take ds with a temperature. He understood as a colleague from a different department had the same problem yesterday with one of her DC at the same nursery.

So dont think my boss or colleagues are having a great week so far and they could obviously really do with my being able to get in tomorrow to help catch up, etc. But at least my boss was understanding that if ds hasn't improved by tomorrow, theres not a lot I can do.

I'm sorry your ds is so poorly. If you know they are pretty desperate, they probably will need you tomorrow. Obviously you can't do additional days but better to make ond if you can.

Will your dh take time off in the future when your boy is poorly, or will it always be down to you?

@OP I don’t understand how you or DH would take a “financial hit” for one day out unless you’re on zero hours contract?
You’re entitled to 5 days Carers leave pro rata and you (or DH) could use a days annual leave also.

I'm not entirely sure how it works but if taking a day off and not using annual leave, you lose a days wage out of your next pay packet. A days wage will roughly equate to between 80-100 pounds. Doesnt sound a lot but when budgeting to the very penny with outgoings coming out month to month, £100 is more than a weeks worth of food shopping.

OP I'm a childminder and wouldn't accept your baby sorry. My policy is if they need calpol to get through the day then they should be at home. Must also be temp free for at least 24hrs without the need for meds before returning too.
This might sound harsh but I have a duty to protect all children in my care not just 1.
I do feel for parents who are scared to take time off work but you have to put baby first. Hope he is better soon.

@tigwig76 thank you! Yes, he's still very poorly. Worse than yesterday so I'll be keeping him home tomorrow.

Sorry to hear your LO is no better OP- not that it helps much but mine was exactly the same.
Gutting to lose the day's wage- a good employer should offer you the chance to use your annual leave- up to you whether you can spare a days leave vs a days salary.

My nursery takes children with temperatures so long as they don't have a rash or any tummy issues. And thank goodness too, DD gets a temperature every time she's cutting a tooth and is otherwise completely fine.

Just got back from seeing the GP as he's got steadily worse during the day. Temperature still very very high. Not eating or drinking very well.

He said it's more than likely a viral infection but DS' right ear also looked inflamed so hes prescribed antibiotics for the ear just incase it's infected. Advised us to keep up with calpol for the viral infection and temperature. Got some vapour rub and nasal drops, etc.

So, definitely no nursery tomorrow as he's so bad. I've told my employer I won't be in and he was very understanding.