Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU? - Child waking the street

411 replies

Iltavilli · 21/05/2019 17:24

We live on a cul de sac with a ginnel (alley for non-northerners) at the bottom, so it is often used as a cut through for people walking children to the local schools about half a mile away. Leaving the house this morning around 8am (huge lie in as I normally leave at 6am), a girl of around 7 or 8 was being walked to school by her mum.

The girl was banging what looked like two plastic sticks together, quite loudly, and was shouting “get up, get up, it’s time for school and work” all the way along the street. She was about 100 metres ahead of her mum, but mum was laughing along and not trying to stop her. I said to the girl that some people, like nurses, work at night and need to sleep in the morning so they can take care of people the next night. The girl burst into tears, and as mum got to where we were (outside my house) shouted at me for making her daughter cry.

Given the weather is so warm, and people have windows open to sleep, was I wrong to ask the girl to stop - but also to explain why she should stop?

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/05/2019 20:19

You're just making stuff up to try and get at the OP not making anything up, the argument that It’s better to tell off a child that isn’t yours when the parent is standing there is wrong.

StillMe1 · 21/05/2019 20:22

I have noise from neighbours at early hours.
I have my alarm set for the time I want to get up at and I think this is something which should be my choice. Not a decision to be made by someone with no consideration for others.
The child was out of order and the mother was lacking responsibility IMO

clairemcnam · 21/05/2019 20:23

Some parents don't give a fuck.
In those situations I think it is fairer to the child to explain why something is not okay. Otherwise they don't learn, and that impacts them far more than it impacts me.

ScreamingValenta · 21/05/2019 20:23

the argument that It’s better to tell off a child that isn’t yours when the parent is standing there is wrong.

But the point is, the parent wasn't doing anything. If the parent had been trying to quieten the child, then you'd be absolutely right - not the OP's place to interfere. But the parent was laughing along - not making any attempt to rein in her child's behaviour.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/05/2019 20:27

The mother was the wrong in the wrong and therefore she should have been told that.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/05/2019 20:27

One in the wrong rather

Tolleshunt · 21/05/2019 20:29

the argument that It’s better to tell off a child that isn’t yours when the parent is standing there is wrong.

I don't agree. The parent had abdicated all responsibility, so was unlikely to respond appropriately or reasonably. We've seen it on here, with people saying they would tell OP to 'fuck off'.

Parents like that are beyond hope, really, when it comes to anybody attempting to help them see that they need to parent their children responsibly.

Telling the child directly actually impacts much more on the child, who at 7, at least has some chance still of growing up with decent manners, provided that the ignorant mother is not the only one having some input into her socialisation. It's actually kinder to the child for her to realise at this age that entitled behaviour is frowned upon by society at large, even if her silly mother condones it.

WaxOnFeckOff · 21/05/2019 20:37

Reminds me a bit of this:

WIBU? - Child waking the street
SadOtter · 21/05/2019 20:51

YANBU, she was walking along shouting deliberately to wake up anyone that was still sleeping. I'm not bothered by general child noise, or shouting excitedly in a game/while walking to school with friends but the fact she was deliberately shouting at people to get up would really annoy me, especially if I was off work ill.

Original poster
Iltavilli · 21/05/2019 20:58

Thanks all for your thoughts.

For those of the washing machine / lawnmower dilemma (amazing comment Grin), I’m sorry to say, the views here have reinforced that what I did was absolutely fine. The girl wasn’t singing or playing, she was antisocial due to the negligence of her mother’s parenting. Our street of 40 or so houses has only one toddler on it (whose parents have just sold up). This wasn’t a neighbour who had respect for the street, it was someone using who had no care for the people who lived here. I do.

Thanks again...

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 21/05/2019 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WaxOnFeckOff · 21/05/2019 21:00

My NDN is a childminder. A couple of years ago one parent seemed to think it was fine to let his DC sit in the car pressing the horn on the car continually while he was chatting to NDN at pick up. Every day, for about 10 minutes every day. The dad seemed quite perplexed when i eventually flipped and went out and told him to stop with the horn pressing. Apparently it was their "thing" Confused. Anyway the conversation didn't go well. I asked if he was okay for me to follow him round to his house where I could sit outside and press my car horn for 10 minutes. He didn't think that was a good idea but still didn't really think it was a problem. I told him it was illegal and he said "what do you think they will do, arrest a 4 year old?" I pointed out that it was his vehicle and he was responsible for it so no, it would be him they'd be speaking to and that it wasn't his DCs fault that he was likely to grow up to be an arsehole like his dad. Funnily enough it stopped.

NunoGoncalves · 21/05/2019 21:00

If your neighbour is mowing the lawn at 8am do you tell off the neighbour or the mower?

teraculum29 · 21/05/2019 21:01

when doing nights (warehouse setting) I was finishing at 6am, so by 8am I was already asleep. So not every night shift finishing at 8am.

Shouting is never ok (unless emergency). And because girl and her mum is awake it doesn't give them the right to wake everyone else.
if child is at school and behave badly, the child is being told off in the first place then the parent is informed.

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 21/05/2019 21:09

I'm generally at work by 8am but if I wasn't it was probably because I would be in bed after my mother in law had a bad night. Either way it is my business and I had W the right, as does everyone in their own home, to not be shouted at by a child being extremely rude and brattish. Typical of some parents these days.

Femalebornandbreed · 21/05/2019 21:18

You should have spoken to her mother. Yes I can see why you would be annoyed but it’s would also be annoying if random people think they can have a go at your kids when your actually with them when they could have spoken with me.

‘Hi can you stop her from doing that please there are shift workers on the street’

‘Dd stop doing that there are shift workers on the street’

Sorted.

This is a child being noisy on the way to school.

Child is being Antisocial
Mother has been accused of Neglect

Just a child making a racket.

I think some posters are getting slightly carried away tbh...

Am appalled at some of the comments towards a couple of posters that suggested the child may have SN. No one knows if she did or didn’t. And it’s perfectly acceptable to suggest she may have.

This could have been a total non event

Mycatwontstopstaring · 21/05/2019 21:19

Yanbu

Original poster
Iltavilli · 21/05/2019 21:29

@femalebornandbreed it wasn’t a non-event purely because the mother chose to shout at me (wonder where her daughter got the impression shouting was acceptable).

No-one accused the mother of neglect, the phrase was “negligent parenting”. Two totally different things.

OP posts:
Sarahandco · 21/05/2019 21:30

poor kid!

Femalebornandbreed · 21/05/2019 21:39

Op because you directly targeted her daughter.

Some people are protective over their kids (even though they are being annoying)

Just my point of view op! You did post in AIBU after all.

HateIsNotGood · 21/05/2019 21:42

YABU - and I've worked many a shift-work job too - but whilst I might have found being woken a bit annoying I would have also smiled at a young child doing the bang-sticky 'wake up world' thing.

So you shouted at a 7 year old because she didn't know that you worked shifts? Bloody hell, you're a cranky cow aren't you.

Original poster
Iltavilli · 21/05/2019 21:42

@femalebornamdbreed - you’re correct. In posting in AIBU I should have expected such inflammatory language as yours, claiming I “targeted” her daughter and accused her of neglect. Shark truly jumped.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iltavilli · 21/05/2019 21:43

@Hateisnotgood I didn’t shout. Read the post, I was shouted at.

OP posts:
Quietlife333 · 21/05/2019 21:44

YANBU
We live on a busy through road, used by tons of pedestrians. The other morning we were woken by a little kid shouting walking outside at the top of his voice at 5.50 I shit you not.

Witchend · 21/05/2019 21:48

If you're arguing that at that time shift workers might be woken, you can argue that at any time. I know shift workers that get sleep at various times through the day, so by that argument you need to be quiet the whole time. Op probably disturbs other people when she leaves at 6am-or when she gets back at 5pm or whenever.

I doubt she was maliciously thinking "ha, I'll wake up all the people who might be asleep".

I'm the worst tempered ever if I'm woken from a lie-in, but if I was woken by a child shouting that at 8am, I'd shrug and go back to sleep. It's going to be short lived anyway if they're just walking past to school.