To wonder what kind of play date mum are you?

[FSid00]

My DD 6 has her friend over to play today. Am I the only one who wonders if I should be entertaining them or just leave them to play?

The last play date she went on the mum made slime with them and she had great fun. But at the moment I am just sat in the lounge while they play upstairs with some music on. She's given her friend the grand tour and pointed out everything in the house, even the cupboard under the stairs . They seem to be having fun without me interfering.

Do you get involved in play dates or just leave them too it?

This is such a reassuring thread! I've never entertained on play dates but often thought I should especially when my DD has come home from a couple where they've been doing something creative with the Mum.

I will now carry on as normal with a clear conscience!!

If my child is at someone else's house on a playdate I'm happy as long as they are safe and well when I collect them. I don't much care if there are organised activities or not. Supervision is necessary but only a very basic level by the time they are 6. You being in the house keeping an ear out is enough.

I let them play but have one activity which is fail safe if they’re getting fractious or other parent running late for pick up etc. Making mug cakes! They all love that!
Also my top tip is to limit the time. Always try to limit to 3 hours max whether mine are going or having someone over. I tend to find that’s enough time for primary aged kids and leaves them wanting more / quit while you’re ahead.

Any play date requiring significant adult involvement is a flop. If they are proper friends they vanish. The only time I’ve had to entertain was a duty one where we felt we owed the family. Dd not keen as she found the girl really dull. That one was hard work. Never again proper friends only

Leave them to it but watch for them disappearing or being quiet because that’s when they’re plotting something

Two of my dds have ASD and I am a structured play date mum. 4 dc in total, so it’s a blessed relief when my other two have play dates and I don’t need to intervene. Also, when they are younger, there is more of a need to have structure (and I have other siblings to occupy).

They just play although I do get them to decorate cupcakes - the £1 blank ones so I don't even need to bake. Sometimes a meringue nest for variation. I usually do plain pasta with toppings to let them choose what they want. Other than that they just play.

I only supervise/entertain with one of dds playdate friends. He has SN so is a bit more difficult to have over but a sweet kid and dd consider him a friend and also try to protect him so although its a bit more work for me he's often here on play dates.

@getback oooh that's like me.. perhaps we are mum-friends in real life! If not, we should be

I put an item for sale on 2 selling sites yesterday.
1st buyer messaged asked if it was still for and would I accept X, I said yes sfs and would accept X & gave my number to text me ( at 11am yesterday).
I didn’t here back, later that day buyer 2 messaged from another site & offered X which I accepted & confirmed sale.
Just had text from buyer 1 ( 9am today so 22 hours later) asking to collect, I explained it was no longer for sale, she said doesn’t understand=we I agreed sale yesterday, I explained that due to her not getting back to me I presumed she had changed her mind. Was I in wrong selling to 2nd buyer when 1st did not reply?

Sorry posted in wrong place

The type that hates the word 'playdate'. 😁

Is there an alternative word we can use?

I leave my DDs to it when they have a play date. They go to their rooms and play there, or they play outside when the weather is good. I only get involved when they start squabbling; DD2 (7) has a best friend who she loves playing with but they have a tendency to fall out sometimes. (Not so much when it’s just the two of them, though.)

Leave then to it. That's the whole point of playdates. Tbh, I don't really have "needy" kids over, and the ones that come a lot are the disappearing with DD type.

I keep an ear out for arguments and have all the ingredients to make slime.

But mostly I just get on with housework or actually have some free time while DD is entertained by someone else.

I used to have play dates so that Dd was entertained and didn't need my full attention.
I fed them. I talked to them if they were in the room. However I mainly left them alone.
I think pretty much all her friends parents did the same.

Depends on age surely? My 5 year old needs supervision as does my 2 year old so yes, there is structure to their play/things to do.

If they are 13 then maybe no need for structure as much.

It depends on the age, at 6 I left them to it, a playday for DD has always been a break to me, I do set it up fun things before they arrive, arts and crafts, play dough.
Sometimes I get involved if making rice crisps cakes, DDs pals now age 10, have always been very well behaved.
DS OTOH is only 4, he is wild, he has one wild pal, I am definitely be more involved with them.

I’d be pretty fed up if I had to lay on entertainment for a visiting child. I also do not expect anyone to do the same for my DD either. The only issue I have is certain children not following rules that I have. One girl went into my bedroom ( told that it was out of bounds) and took my engagement ring that was on my bedside table. I only discovered this when she dropped it on the stairs on her way out. . She gets much closer supervision now I can assure you.

I’d be pretty fed up if I had to lay on entertainment for a visiting child
I don't feel obliged to, I like them to have a good time, it is important to me, my DC have a clean home they can invite friends back.
I would've loved it as a child.
Kid theifs
That's another thread, they never get to return, except a young girl, I know her family, her DM is a abusive mouthy drinker, lots of kids, the young girl had tight jeans on, she stuffed her pockets with shopkins, I let her steal them, I know what it is like to be a poor kid, full if envy.
She rarely visits but is fully monitored, DD wont leave her alone in the house, she had a slice of pizza and licked the sauce off the plate. SS did visit after a police visit but their house is clean, the DM was sober and played a blinder.

I leave them to it, but the child usually ends up following me around and nattering at me about stuff so it kinda becomes MY play date (Polling Day last Thursday, yeh I’m looking at you)!!

I’ve never entertained the kids on a play date, that’s my kids role not mine! I’ll chat to them and provide food but definitely no slime making or anything

but the child usually ends up following me around and nattering at me about stuff so it kinda becomes MY play date
I hate this, again this would be a one visit child.