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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ban chocolate brioche rolls because ds1 disobeyed me?

46 replies

EscapeFrom · 20/07/2007 09:07

I bought chocolate brioche rolls for breakfast today, and ds1 (4yo) was really looking forward to them.

HOWEVER every morning this week he has got uo silently, stood on a chair to take the latch off the kitchen door, gone in the fridge and helped himself, ignoring all the things he is allowed to help himself to like the fruit bowl.

Today I caught him sitting on his bed eating raw sausages [barf] he looked like a bloody poster child for the NSPCC.

He knows he's not allowed to do this, he has to come and wake me up and I will go in the kitchen for him.

So I have given his little brother choclate brioche rolls for breakfast, and I have given him toast.

But he is sobbing and I feel really cruel. Toast is a normal breakfast in this houise BTW, not a bread-and-water punishment.

So, am I?

OP posts:
HuwEdwards · 20/07/2007 09:09

I think you have to teach him a lesson - I would do this

FlameDelacour · 20/07/2007 09:10

sorry, but lmao @ the raw sausages!

Did he know that they would be withdrawn if he was naughty? If not, then I think possibly just the "normal" punishment (whatever you do) is better.

ProfessorGrammaticus · 20/07/2007 09:12

YANBU - definitely not

mytwopenceworth · 20/07/2007 09:12

Raw sausages? First thing I would ask is is he ok? Does he eat a lot of things that are not really what you would expect?

And no, you are not being unreasonable to stick by your punishment. You can't back down now. You just can't.

You could say that depending how he behaves today/next 2 days/whole week, he could have one tomorrow/sunday/next friday, but only IF he has behaved well.

Original poster
EscapeFrom · 20/07/2007 09:13

He didn't know they were being withdrawn if he was naughty - but then, I didn't think he would disobey me again after the telling off he got yesterday. I warned him if he did it again I would be 'very cross'

Ahhhh booo, in my head I am a much better parent than irl

OP posts:
Original poster
EscapeFrom · 20/07/2007 09:16

I think he just saw the sausages and wanted them, not realising they were raw - it's not the sort of thing that bothers him, I have told him raw meat weill give him a tummy ache, but he just informs me that it won't! He eats quite normally usually.

I have told him that if he stays out of the kitchen tomorrow morning, he can have chocolate brioche rolls for breakfast then.

OP posts:
mytwopenceworth · 20/07/2007 09:17

that's cos in rl you're a human being like the rest of us. Don't beat yourself up, daftie!

Would have been better if he had a warning then he would have made an informed choice, but it doesn't matter, he still has learned something about bad behaviour having consequences. Including unforeseen ones!!

But if you do feel bad, you could, like I said, offer him a carrot (well, a choc brioche roll) of a treat later in the week in return for behaving well.

mytwopenceworth · 20/07/2007 09:18

x posts.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

Kids are weird.

theressomethingaboutmarie · 20/07/2007 19:09

laughing my backside off about the raw sausages too . You've been really reasonable with him so no, YANBU.

mylittlefreya · 20/07/2007 19:12

YANBU. And raw sausages does seem a bit odd. But I would wonder is there anything behind the creeping into the kitchen. Just because both my sister and I used to do that (no raw sausages though) when unhappy, but being told off just made things worse in the long run.

nally · 20/07/2007 19:17

(but they are so yummy, according to my dc)

HedTwigg · 20/07/2007 19:19

was it sausages like frankfurters (which are actually cooked and delicious cold) or proper sausages that one would normally grill

that's just an 'I'm interested' question .. I think you're doing exactly the right thing

pointydog · 20/07/2007 19:36

Well I think YABU.

I don't think you should have made the chocolate brioches the punishment. Before your ds lost the plot and went canine, he thought the choc brioches were a done deal, no strings attached, an agreed special meal.

I think the punishment should have been a more run of the mill one. Or he should have listened to a boring lecture on food hygiene by you.

SURELY NOT RAW PORKERS??!!

edam · 20/07/2007 19:43

Of course YANBU. I admit pointydog's made a logical point but I don't think you have to tie yourself up in knots. You aren't running a debating society but a home.

You've told him he can have a brioche if he stays out of the kitchen tomorrow. Seems fair to me.

coddy · 20/07/2007 19:44

you ponce!
give him a mini roll

Elasticwoman · 20/07/2007 19:46

OP I think you dealt with this JUST RIGHT. You do not have to tell a child exactly what the consequences of disobedience will be. If they know mummy will be cross and punish in some way, it can be more effective than if they know exactly what will happen. Loss of a privilege is perfectly reasonable. You feel sorry for him because he is suffering - that's natural - but it will do him good in the long run.

lilolilmanchester · 20/07/2007 19:51

agree totally

Original poster
EscapeFrom · 20/07/2007 19:57

They were real raw sausages, not frankfurters or anything remotely sane like that. He had squirted the pork out of the sausage skins and eaten it.

Cod they were for breakfast, not for a snack, so not mini rolls, NO!

He will get them tomorrow instead if he stays out of the kitchen in the morning. I hope he does, I really do.

OP posts:
meandmyflyingmachine · 20/07/2007 19:58

I think sometimes a shock punishment works wonders. I marched my children out of a cafe once because they were misbehaving. I told them to stop, they didn't, so we just left. Cakes left on the table, two wailing children, other customers eyes a-popping.

Now if they start paying up, I just remind them of this and they are good as gold. It was over a year ago.

foxinsocks · 20/07/2007 20:01

eww what an odd thing to eat (re the raw saussies)

out of interest, is he genuinely starving in the morning? is he eating dinner too early maybe?

Elasticwoman · 20/07/2007 20:04

Flyingmachine - what did you do about paying when you marched your children out of the cafe?

meandmyflyingmachine · 20/07/2007 20:05

I had already paid.

What are you suggesting?

Original poster
EscapeFrom · 20/07/2007 20:06

I can't make dinner any later, unfortunately! I dish up about 5.30, because ds2 like to be in bed for 6.30.

Ds1 also has supper before bed, at about 6.30/7pm, and it is 2 rounds of toast with peanut butter.

It's in his fiddly nature, I think. He knows he's not allowed to do it, so he desperately wants to. I hope I am not going to have to start setting my alarm for 6am again but he got into the cheese and got a sharp knife out the other day. I did tell him off, and explained (again!) that he mustn't touch sharp knives, or help himself to things while I am asleep - that he must wake me up, but it can't have sunk in!

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 20/07/2007 20:10

5.30 sounds fine - so he has supper and then toast and peanut butter? he's obviously a growing boy

hope it works tomorrow morning!

(does he have a drink next to his bed? perhaps he could busy himself with drinking water instead)

babygrand · 20/07/2007 20:11

I am so much in awe of anyone who can withhold anything from their children as I am a complete wimp and give them anything they want.

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