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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

children in care

85 replies

RomanyQueen1 · 20/05/2019 22:57

Wtf are there unregulated homes for 16- 17 year olds, it's disgusting in this day and age.
They are at risk, vulnerable and dumped.
i had no idea and can't get over it. Why is this allowed?

OP posts:
Brainfogmcfogface · 21/05/2019 21:38

My nephew is in one (he refused to come to me as I live far away and he didn’t want to leave his mates no matter how much I begged him) and it breaks my heart.
It’s awful! He’s kicked out at 8:30 every morning and not allowed to return before 4, but has been told on occasion to not come back before 6. He’s 16. Thankfully he has a best mate who lets him go to his place whilst parents are at work and he stays there, but there is zero support or anyone helping him to improve his life and other then one cooking lesson he’s been left alone and he has no one caring for him. Sadly I can see him hardening to cope, when he was such a loving little boy.
I’m in daily contact and desperate to get him to come to me, he’s really troubled, had a very hard life but he’s my boy, and hopefully I’ll get through his thick skull that a quiet life up here away from London isn’t the hell he thinks it’s be.

HelenaDove · 22/05/2019 00:30

I found this stressful as the housing association were telling me when I turned 18 they'd take me to court if there were arrears and at that point I had no way of paying. It was a vicious circle.

Not surprised to hear this at all. Its always gone on with a lot of HAs But the difference now is its not as hidden due to social media.

Giggorata · 22/05/2019 01:54

When our authority first started its Leaving Care team and services with the new legislation, in 2000, we had a Day Centre, some flats and bedsits, a team of 15 personal advisers working day and evenings, including some who ran the Supported Lodgings.
There was enough funding to pay rents, set up flats with furnishing and equipment, provide income payments for the under 18s to keep them off benefits, buy birthday and Christmas gifts, food parcels when they inevitably had cash issues, yearly clothing grants, interview clothing, college and uni grants, drop ins, meals, training, groups, incentives, etc.
We had a minimum standard for frequency of visits, but saw everyone a lot more often because they needed it. We employed some yp, too.

Nowadays, although I no longer work with care leavers, I see there have been so many cutbacks that most of these things have gone or been drastically reduced.
The team has been halved, they no longer work evenings, the Day Centre has gone, the yp have to bid for LA or Housing assoc properties which they can't sustain, so they get into arrears or disputes and get blacklisted, etc.
The setting up home grants are capped, there is more reliance on charities and the private sector re housing and support.
Yp at uni are expected to get loans and/or jobs, like anyone else. But they are not like anyone else, with parental support and reasonably stable backgrounds to go forward into a hard world.This is why so few care leavers get to uni, fewer still complete their courses.
The number of children in care, and therefore care leavers has increased and additionally each authority has a number of unaccompanied asylum seeking children and teens to care for, often arriving at short notice and traumatised.

But each local authority has been required to “save” millions of pounds every year.
This is a bullshit way of saying that the money to run services has been reduced year after year. This has been going on for at least ten years, and I have just heard that more “savings” are required over the next three years.

The principle behind the leaving care legislation was “would this be good enough for my child?”
It all seems a bit dismal now.
Sorry about the long post.... Sad

GrapefruitsAreNotTheOnlyFruit · 22/05/2019 08:15

@Giggorata what you describe sounds much better.

However I still think the best solution would be for young people in care to stay with foster carers until at least 18. Tbh it would be better if there was funding for them to stay at least in holidays and recieve support until they were launched successfully, so college completed, settled in first job. That way they can get emotional support in a family environment.

Even if you don't care at all. Having all these young people who fail to achieve independence successfully in early adulthood through lack of support will be very costly in the long run.

mrsed1987 · 22/05/2019 09:09

Yp can stay with carers until 18, problem is, often the children have multiple difficulties and carers give notice, they then have different placements and end up in unregulated homes.

NoBaggyPants · 22/05/2019 09:16

Poverty in the UK is 'systematic' and 'tragic', says UN special rapporteur

This is what the government think of vulnerable people.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48354692

BarnabasTheMaineCoon · 22/05/2019 09:31

The lot of fostering is now contracted out, too, to private companies, who fuck the carers over, no support, so they resign.

Hyrana · 22/05/2019 10:26

Magenta82 Tue 21-May-19 08:59:14
This is what happens when people vote for a government with a policy of austerity.

I HRTFT and I will but Magenta said it for me. It sounds lovely and sensible, like we are all in it together and tightening our belts for the good of the country. But in reality people are dying after being told they are fit for work, killing themselves because they have no money or hope, disabled people have no care and are getting stuck in their homes and children are being left with no help or support.

Meanwhile there are tax benefits for party supporters.

gotosleepalready · 22/05/2019 13:23

@nokidshere what did you do? Sad

nokidshere · 22/05/2019 20:05

@gotosleepalready I slept on a friends sofa for a week, got a copy of "The Lady" magazine and found myself a live in Nanny job in London. I went back to the children's home and got them to buy me a train ticket. And never looked back.

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