children in care

[RomanyQueen1]

Wtf are there unregulated homes for 16- 17 year olds, it's disgusting in this day and age.
They are at risk, vulnerable and dumped.
i had no idea and can't get over it. Why is this allowed?

Cutbacks have decimated services everywhere.

That said some of the arbitrary rules annoy me. My local authority is constantly putting out appeals for foster carers. Yet friends of ours couldn't even get past the initial 'express your interest' stage because they have a rule that they don't allow couples with more than a 15 year age gap. They're 41 and 57. Now I could understand it if they spoke to them and discovered that they got to gether when she was 13 or something completely wrong like that, but they met at 30 and 46.

They also have extensive experience of children with severe difficulties, especially her, as she cared for her nephew until his death 5 years ago. They are basically the kind of people that are bring cried out for, and if he was 6 onths younger they would at least get the chance to meet the people in charge and be assessed.

What we do to care leavers is criminal anyway. Here’s a bin bag for your stuff, off you go, have a nice life.

And we wonder why so many end up in trouble, homeless, in prison.

Like everything else with this government, everything stops when you hit adulthood. Of course, to some on MN that’s perfectly fine as we all know many think we don’t owe our kids anything once they reach adult. But at least in those situations we have generally raised them well.

Kids are not nurtured, encouraged, supported well in care then we kick them out as late teenagers. It’s shocking.

I’d like to see a regulated, support system which gives kids somewhere to turn to when they are sent out in to the world. Like a befriending service. I’d be happy to be the mum a young woman turns to when she doesn’t know what to do next.

I'm really shocked people don't know this - it's been this way for decades. Do most people have no contact/experience of the care system even second/third hand? I don't have first hand experience but I've known enough people involved some way or another to be aware.

Lyralala, they could try approaching a private fostering agency, some of them have different rules.

Yabbers i think a befriending thing sounds fab. unfortunately i think it will be upt to singular people like yourself to start somethign brilliant like that up as people ith the power dont care

I left foster care at 18 with no practical support whatsoever.
Luckily my last foster parents taught me how to cook, but the day I turned 18 SS washed their hands of me.
I had no idea how to pay bills, how to look after myself or anything.

I now volunteer to work with teenagers in foster care, and try to show them some life skills so that they are prepared.

@Daffodils07

I was in care too. At 16 you have to leave the children's home, so I went into a spare room of some people (a family) as supported lodgings. They were ok I guess, but clearly in it for the money at the end of the week. Withing a couple of months I got SS (I had a great social worker) to pay the deposit on a flat, so I had my own flat (I was still at school doing my GCSE's) and that was much better.
That was 25 years ago though.
Funding was short back then, no doubt it's even worse now.

*Within

they could try approaching a private fostering agency, some of them have different rules.

Yeah they are now part way through the approval process with one.

It just seems bonkers that in a time of cutbacks the LA may end up paying an agency considerably more for them to foster because of a random thing decided without even speaking to them.

My DDs’ birth mum grew up in care and was completely let down by the system. I counted at least 10 placements as a teenager, mostly in children’s homes. All they have done for her since she left care, as far as I can tell is remove her DC at birth; she’s had 4 DC plus 2 still births.

I’m not saying that the decisions weren’t correct, as she’s been in a very dysfunctional relationship, with a lot of violence on both sides, and they both have a lot of issues. I’m also grateful our 2 DDs were placed with us.

But social care have a lot to answer for in the way they let her down.

It wasn't any better under a different government, there was no support in the late 90's either. I don't know whether there was more money available but I was living in a bedsit in a converted house that was supposed to have a support worker based in one of the rooms. I never saw him, I don't know if that's because he wasn't there much or because I left for school before 8am, (usually back before 4:30).
There was trouble almost every day. Fights on the landings, my door was kicked in a few times, my things were stolen including my post, bank card, bank account emptied. The corridors regularly had vomit & drug paraphernalia left in them. The front door was often left open, the back door broken off it's hinges, the windows smashed etc.
The police visited after I'd had to report my money stolen & within minutes of them leaving I had people hammering on my door, demanding to know why the Police were there. It was intimidating but there was no one to speak to about it. We were all left to just get on with it, it wasn't a safe environment. I was scared to sleep, go out, stay in.
I lived on £37pw for electricity, food etc. My rent & council tax were paid for by benefits that I had to arrange myself with no idea of where to start. I had to sign a tenancy saying I'd pay the rent before I could claim housing benefit without the benefits people being able to tell me what I'd be entitled to. They couldn't assess me before I had a tenancy. I found this stressful as the housing association were telling me when I turned 18 they'd take me to court if there were arrears and at that point I had no way of paying. It was a vicious circle.
When I finished school I had plans to move away so ended, with notice, my tenancy and benefits claims. No one followed up.

Cat what did you do next?

It's not necessarily truly representative - until quite recently care finished at 16 and they were put into council housing or private flats! Dd has a couple of friends in hostels similar to those described and they are a half way house for independent living eg a caseworker lives in, they get skills lessons and yes it's inspected but not by ofsted as they are post school age. They can stay until 21 here

You want to know where all the money goes?
Private landlords & private 'care' companies.

I was pregnant & homeless about a decade ago & placed in to one of those homes for teenagers as I was too old to be placed with the younger pregnant mothers.

The council paid £270 a week to the company (per person, there were 5 of us in the house) which paid for the rent, utilities (no tv licence) and the 'staff'.

Staff being a bloke turned up for about 5 minutes every week or so & left a half a dozen value toilet rolls.

That was ALL the supervision/care provided.
I was there for over 6 months, often the guy dropped off the toilet roll when there was nobody in so he often didn't see any of his 'charges' for months at a time.
One of the girls they were paying for never actually even stayed there as she lived with her boyfriend somewhere else.

Each bedroom contained a bed with 1 set of cheap covers & 1 pillow.
Some bedrooms contained an old wardrobe.

That's it.
1 small fridge to be shared between 5 strangers, 1 broken oven & one washing machine that worked along with 1 knife, fork, spoon, cup & plate per person covered the kitchen facilities provided

Perhaps if the council hadn't had to pay over £1,000 a week for 5 people to have a roof over their heads when the same houses were rented out for less than £250 a week to normal tenants they would have more funds for actual care.

When I went into labour unexpectedly whilst visiting the hospital on crutches without so much as a spare pair of knickers, the 'staff' couldn't be arsed to travel the 3 miles to drop me off some clean clothes because it was the weekend so I spent 3 days in the hospital wearing my dirty amniotic fluid stained skirt I gave birth in as the hospital wouldn't let me get a cab home leaving my newborn in the hospital to get something clean to wear.
I literally had no one else to ask.

I regretted asking as they opened my window while in my room picking me up a change of clothes & I was then robbed so returned to find all my baby stuff had been stolen along with my laptop etc...

That's private care companies for you.

Every one of those kids had social workers or probation officers, not a one of them ever turned up at the property in the over 6 months I was placed there.
I suspect they were all too busy trying to do their work for a damn sight less money than the private landlords & private care companies who are bleeding the system for every penny it might have.

Two of those kids were 14 by the way, they were not all over the age of 16.

@Processedpea I rented the box room in a family home until they moved, then house shared until I got a place with DP.

@kate - they are called Personal Advisors. Look it up

Sorry hadnt finished. Everyone council has them. Some yp engage others dont. They have no obligation too

I don't think the answer is become a foster carer or do nothing, because I think there are other things we can do.

Of course it isn’t a choice between those two things.

But the OP (who I notice hasn’t returned) didn’t ask in a measured way ‘what can I do to make a small difference’?

The words “Wtf”, “disgusting in this day and age”, “dumped”, “i had no idea”, “can't get over it” were used, together with “Why is this allowed”?

Surely it’s not beyond the wit of man to realise that the reason this is ‘allowed’ is through lack of funding and lack of foster carers... and if you truly do feel so strongly about it, that you cant get over it, there is one really obvious, practical step you can take?

I don't think the answer is foster care. It takes somebody special to be able to do this. It shouldn't be foster or anything else.
What obvious step? I'm too old to foster or adopt, and don't think I'm a good enough candidate tbh.

I just had absolutely no idea it was as bad as this. I'm going to look at volunteering somehow.
My sympathy to those on here who have gone through this, and the pp who said it was like this in the 70's and nothing has changed.

As a person born into the care system I thank my lucky stars I was adopted, this could so easily have been mine and lots more people's stories.

Underfunding is not a reason or excuse, it shouldn't exist. There is money to fund everything, we just have governments who don't think these kids are important and that's the disgusting part.

Bisset that is ridiculous.

Children in care deserve the right people to care for them.Many people wouldn’t cut the mustard. Then you get people who don’t have spare rooms and have stressful full time jobs or stress in their lives.

This oh just foster if you think young people are being let down is quite flippant and unpleasant.

This oh just foster if you think young people are being let down is quite flippant and unpleasant

So is virtue signalling on this topic...

I grew up in care. When I turned 16 in 1981 I was turfed out into a bedsit the week after I left school. Social services supplied me with a set of bedding, 1 towel, I plate, bowl, cup, knife & fork & spoon, 1 small pan. It truly was horrific. Out of the 5 of us who left the home that summer, I'm the only one still alive. The others have all died either at their own hands of from drugs or alcohol. I started college in the September which is what saved me. I had one tutor in particular who really helped me.

Can I ask if there is an option for children to stay in foster care after the age of 16? I am in Ireland and while our system is flawed and underfunded foster carers continue to receive payments for looked after children right through the college years if they remain with them. Sometimes the payment will be split between the carer and the child depending on circumstances, for example If the young person is living at college part of the week or whatever. Some children will choose to move on but the option is there.

The govt are big on equality. They make the disabled, elderly, working class, sick, mentally ill and lone parents suffer, so why should children and teens be any different?

The govt are big on equality. They make the disabled, elderly, working class, sick, mentally ill and lone parents suffer, so why should children and teens be any different?