Aibu to jump before I’m pushed (work related)

[Hp737]

My role at work seems to have come to a standstill. I work for a large company. My boss was let go a month ago because most of our operational oversight is moving overseas, and our roles were quite closely linked/my remit is fast disappearing as they make that transition. (However I haven’t received any official communications from our senior management also overseas about this- it’s been badly handled and “officially” our team don’t really know what’s going on.) I have begun to be left out of the loop on decisions and processes that were previously part of my role, and the expectation from most of the people I work with is that I’m “next” to go, and there will be a second round of redundancies in June/July.
However I have only worked here for 1.3 years so I think I’m not technically eligible for redundancy pay/if I felt I had a case for constructive dismissal it wouldn’t be valid.

I also have a school age dd. Summer is always a total nightmare childcare wise as my fiancé and I work full time and we have had to use most of our annual leave up already as we had family emergencies and also are getting married this year. I would need to take 2 weeks off because of this in summer either if I stay at this job or if I changed jobs, honeymoon etc are booked. However if I changed jobs my annual leave would be pro rated accordingly and I would have literally none left for the rest of the year.

I have been severely demotivated by these events at work and it has really made my anxiety worse. It’s so shit knowing you’re “for the chop” and I have pretty much been left to my own devices for the past month. I know my days are numbered.

WIBU to resign a month before my dd breaks up for summer (this would be nearly 4 weeks from today) and take a break this summer instead of trying to start a new job/do wedding stuff/field childcare? The way I see it I either get made redundant at some point in the next 2 months, or I resign for the sake of my own sanity/ in time to not have to worry about summer childcare. I highly doubt I will get some great redundancy package due to my short service at the company.

My fiancé is a high earner and I have around 8k in savings. I have a good cv and haven’t had trouble getting jobs before- I would need to look for something to start in September.

Aibu to consider resigning and taking the summer off for dd/wedding then going back? I feel so demotivated here every day and I’m sick of getting no clarity from anyone. My new “boss” is a guy based overseas I’ve never met, who I speak to once a week. I just want out really. Any advice?!

Good points lemon and Scottish. I do agree and as I said in my op I am anxious about my next move.
Spoke to someone jsut now who said the next consultation period for redundancies has been said to be October (someone else asked HR a similar question). It’s very depressing to think I could be in this dwindling job til October if I wait it out, but the security would obviously be there. If September is a good time to look for jobs then that’s great- I should potentially go for the unpaid parental leave during summer and focus on planning next move then. It’s not clear whether it’s ok to run unpaid leave into annual leave though. Any HR people in big companies know this offhand? I don’t see why it wouldn’t be.

darkchocolate -that’s a great idea about saying I’m on 3 months notice. Thanks. My ideal would be to line something up for September.

Dwindling jobs are great opportunities to do wedding planning. Nobody cares. Well a few do but nobody else bothers with them.

Ask about working from home during the holidays. Again no one cares anymore about productivity. You will be just one less stressed person sitting around the office bitching. And eating cake.

Definitely - take the time off and enjoy!!

Just wanted to point out that 3 months isn't a "problem" gap on a cv. It's a short amount of time, especially if you have a valid reason (and yes, spending the summer with your daughter before starting your job hunt IS a valid reason and you wouldn't want to work for a company that thought it wasn't). Hopefully your next move will be into a company that treats it's employees well.

It’s only a 3 month gap if she gets another job. That happens.
Getting another job is easier when you have one. That is why people ask to be officially kept on for a period after redundancy.

The OP should start looking for other jobs. Explain she can’t start until September. Bank the salary and save for the worse case scenario.

If they make you 'redundant' while you're off sick with stress (and spending the summer with your kid...) they open themselves up to a claim for disability discrimination which you can bring no matter how long you've been in a job.

If they offer you £X tax free in a settlement they know they've safely washed your hands of you, you get three month's paid garden leave (whilst spending the summer with your kid) and you get to sail into your new job in Sept having had the summer off WHILST BEING PAID and with no (or a tiny) cv gap.

Trust me, don't show your cards. Play the game, say how much you love the company but you are so stressed in the current climate that you need time off.

Worst case scenario they don't make you redundant / offer settlement and you get a chunk of summer sick leave and you have to go back in September and hand in your notice to go to your new job.

Can you work flexibly? Is there a chance you can work from home more than usual? This helped me when I was in a similar situation.

OP are you in a market where jobs are really easy to come by? How are your colleagues who have already been made redundant managing?

I find the repeated comments of "take time off and enjoy!!" really alarming given the current UK economic climate.

Most people really struggle to find jobs right now and when you have children who are relying on you winging it is a big risk.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/

Do you follow MSE? The advice there is that ideally you want 6 months money in the bank as savings after all debt is paid, that's the safe goal.

What is your monthly family budget OP? Is the wedding completely paid for or do you have outstanding debt? Have you and your OH sat down and crunched the numbers in the event that you are out of work for 3 months, 6 months maybe longer? What is the minimum you would have to bring in if you did pick up a minimum wage job to tide you over as suggested above (not as easy to do because again a lot of people are in the same boat there)?

These are the really hard decisions that need considered before you hand your notice in.

If you really can't face getting up and going to work tomorrow then you ought to see your GP and get some help. Wouldn't life be better if you could manage your stress in future and avoid getting into the same situation?

They know that you know that they know and you know that they know that you know. It's all a game.

Initially, I would have said just go if you are so unhappy and have the support of your DP, but after reading a few of the other comments, I do think it would be an unwise move. For a potential employer, seeing that you have left , because you fell out for with your previous employers or wanted to spend time with DD (or a mixture of both) is probably not what they want to hear. If I was you I would spend your working hours proactively. work on your CV, see if there are online coursed you can do, basically let them pay to may you a become a more attractive employee.

I’ve been working on my cv and am finishing up a training course at the moment which has now clawback cost if I leave. I’ve also managed to do a fair bit of wedding stuff and the routine does help me manage general stress I think. Having read a lot of the replies I feel it would be best to try and stay employed with this company until I have a new job lined up. However I would probably consider sick leave (been to gp with anxiety/depression related to this a few times this year) or unpaid parental leave, to manage out the next few months. I know I do need to act wisely and ensure this isn’t just my stress response talking.

*no clawback cost that should say, not now

Sit tight, albeit on sick leave. Don't leave and do their dirty work for them. They will have a pot of cash set aside for this.

I do feel nervous for some reason about going off sick. I come from a family where this would be very frowned upon and I know that shouldn’t influence me but it does and I would feel that I let down my team (not that any of them have helped me particularly). Dp is understanding though. I don’t want to be seen to take the piss or as weak. But I do feel almost unable to carry on much longer and my motivation/confidence is on the floor.

My Dh had to work 3 months notice. It's not uncommon. Just start applying for jobs but tell them you won't be able to start until September. It's worth a shot, especially if you wouldn't even be handing in your notice for 4 weeks.

Sit tight and get your cv updated and out on the online job boards and recruitment consultants.

CBT really could help, think of some pro active stress management as a long term investment like the training course.

Mental health is like any other illness. You wouldn't berate yourself as weak for going to the GP with a sprained ankle. This is no different and it is good to seek help before you reach crisis point. The reason I am saying go private for help is because the services are at breaking point with long waiting lists and you have money there you want to spend. If you are already seeing your GP about this go back and get more advice, they can refer you to private mental health care?

Others can advise whether it may be worth speaking to occupational health through work or if that would rock the boat.

Are there any other training courses open to you that could fill your time and add to your cv?

I’ve just signed up to futurelearn which also has a lot of good free courses I can take for my cv in downtime. I don’t reallt want to spend money on further training while things are as they are, but I’m happy to upskill while I’m waiting to move on.

OP are you happiest busy and struggle with stress when you have time to dwell?

I'd do unpaid parental leave. don't think you're restricted to only 2 weeks per year. I'm sure they'd be happy to if there's little work to do. or perhaps you could offer voluntary redundancy with a pay out. they save wages til October/Nov and you get more than you expected.

I do feel nervous for some reason about going off sick. I come from a family where this would be very frowned upon and I know that shouldn’t influence me but it does and I would feel that I let down my team (not that any of them have helped me particularly).
Do put yourself first OP - your company certainly are! They will absolutely do what suits them legally and for business reasons irrespective of the effect upon you.

You are already seeing signs of that in your current job, eg have begun to be left out of the loop on decisions and processes that were previously part of my role, and the expectation from most of the people I work with is that I’m “next” to go,

I would keep the fact that you are job hunting or looking at other options (eg sick leave, unpaid leave) to yourself (tell NOBODY at work, however close you might think you are). Have a noncommittal response prepared for people who ask you outright.

Members of your team will, quite correctly, also be looking out for their own options.

I hope it all works out for you. 🌹

If you're stressed and anxious I'd get signed off by the GP and wait for the settlement offer. Seriously

Nah she has been there

I think what I’m struggling with most is that I have almost nothing to do say to day. My role has changed so much so quickly. It feels unnatural to me to jsut be doing my own stuff in work time. I feel really guilty and anxious. Like I should be telling someone I have nothing to do anymore.

*day to day