That the word "slave" is a loaded one?

[MissB83]

Earlier today my lovely mum was playing with my (biracial) son while getting the laundry out of the machine. He was pushing the basket along for her and she said "well done my little slave!".

I asked her not to say that again and she looked a bit surprised. It just didn't feel comfortable to me for a (white) grandmother to be saying that to my son, who is a quarter Bajan and a quarter West African. Language is not neutral and that feels to me like a loaded word. My mum is in no way racist and I don't think she even thought about it but I am conscious about the things said to my son even though he is only little (he's one).

Did I overreact? AIBU?

You did not overreact at all. The word of definitely loaded especially when said to a black person.

Yanbu

Yanbu, but you’re about to get 100 posts of ‘she didn’t mean anything by it, you can’t say anything these days, snowflake society’ and etc.

WTAF YANBU!

Yanbu at all.

It's really loaded - and there is a reason she said slave instead of helper which would be the obvious word to use.

YANBU. 'Little helper' would have been fine.

But I’m white, my sons white and wouldn’t dream of saying that to him or anyone or anything for that matter??
YANBU! (Shakes head in disbelief)

Yanbu.
It’s easy for white people to be oblivious to the weight of history without them being racist.
This is a really good time for your mum to learn and increase her awareness.
I wouldn’t be angry with her but I also would bring it up and point it out.

Whilst I am sure it was just a careless comment, ywnbu at all to pull her up on it. It's always 'oh I didn't mean it like that' which gets trotted out to justify casual racism.

I don't think I've ever called my own children (White) that term. But they've often been my little helper. Occasionally my little waiter.

She clearly used slave for a reason instead of granny’s little helper or similar. Honestly I’d be wary about leaving him alone with her.

An odd choice of word. YANBU.

What a weird thing to say to any child (but especially a mixed race one)

It’s easy for white people to be oblivious to the weight of history without them being racist.

That's my interpretation of what happened. I think it was carelessness.

Honestly I’d be wary about leaving him alone with her

Really? REALLY?

For avoidance of doubt, I am not concerned about leaving my son alone with my mum on the basis of this one thing! She's an amazing carer.

She probably did not think anything of it and would have made the same comment to any child helping in that way irrespective of ethnicity.

But you are right to say it is a loaded term - particularly when used with a child of African descent. I would take the opportunity to sit down with her and talk through the kind of issues your DC may face with racist language as they grow up and how she can best support them.

I really doubt she used the word slave instead of helper because the kid is biracial as some people are suggesting-the word helper is a weird word to use imo, it’s not the default word to use. But slave is still loaded like you said OP. Quite frankly it’s not a word that anyone should use lightly regardless of the racial origins of the person being referred to (after all, most races have been victim to and perpetrated slavery at some point) and no matter how light hearted the reference is supposed to be. YWNBU at all. It’s not like jumped to conclusions like some people have you just asked her not to use an unpalatable word to refer to your child. Completely reasonable.

It is a loaded term. In fact so loaded and dehumanizing that most historians, especially in the US, now use "enslaved person" rather than "slave."

It's a very loaded term. With historical context that's difficult to ignore.

The poison of the trans-Atlantic trade is still very close to the surface. And, let's not forget, there is still a lot of slavery, including in West Africa. So it's not even a 'historical' word as such.

YANBU
The other day a group of my students made a town art project and there was a "King's house" and a "Slaves' house"

I am wondering how to approach this, I was a bit taken aback as I find that is a word that should not be thrown about 😔

Just to provide context, I use the phrase 'kitchen slave'. If I've a lot to cook in a small time, I'll ask if anyone will be my kitchen slave. I need someone to pass things, tidy things, chop peel etc. We're a white family.

I have no idea if I'd think to change my term around people from BAME backgrounds.

However, modern slavery abuses all sorts regardless of skin colour.

Yadnbu - even if she just wasn’t thinking, she needs to learn to! That’s a wholly inappropriate word to use.