That the word "slave" is a loaded one?

[MissB83]

Earlier today my lovely mum was playing with my (biracial) son while getting the laundry out of the machine. He was pushing the basket along for her and she said "well done my little slave!".

I asked her not to say that again and she looked a bit surprised. It just didn't feel comfortable to me for a (white) grandmother to be saying that to my son, who is a quarter Bajan and a quarter West African. Language is not neutral and that feels to me like a loaded word. My mum is in no way racist and I don't think she even thought about it but I am conscious about the things said to my son even though he is only little (he's one).

Did I overreact? AIBU?

I assume you righteous dudes never ever say "what did your last slave die of? ", then?

I assume you righteous dudes never ever say "what did your last slave die of? ", then?

Can you genuinely not see any difference between accusing someone of acting like a slave owner, and calling a (black!) child an actual slave?

You can appreciate how those things are quite different, right?

I am English but grew up in Jamaica. When I was about 12 a mate kept asking me to get him a drink, get him food pass him the fan etc. eventually I snapped "what did your last slave die of?" (a common expression in working class Manchester). We still laugh about it now and he says it to me constantly, at least 3 times every time we are together. I reply 'overwork' .

My point is that yes slave is a loaded word for black and mixed race people, but also that people say daft things without thinking. Cut your DM some slack and I am sure she'll be more careful.

righteous dudes

Are you Bill or Ted?

You sure she’s not racist?
Either that or stupid? Which is it

Gth1234 - only a thousand times a day.

We're dual heritage and I often nominate a slave child for the day (please bear in mind my offspring are into their 20's). This means they will be doing all my heavy lifting and general fetching and carrying. It absolutely isnt something I could get upset about and I do object to others getting upset on my behalf. It's absolutely patronising, telling me what I/we should think or feel.

I do think there is an element of looking for offence where a word/expression is in common usage and no offence is intended. It's not like a gammon yelled something across the street with a deliberate intent to be abusive.

I'm 100% sure she meant nothing by it but that's the point isn't it? She didn't think because white privilege blinded her to the language and connotations. Your son need to know that nobody can ever call him a slave and until he's old enough to assert that himself, you do it for him.

I used to say "what did your last slave die off?" to my little brother. His response? "Happiness."**
*
Misses point of thread*

I wonder if maybe it’s a UK/US divide? Because while obviously the UK was heavily involved in the slave trade, we didn’t, unlike the US, have an enslaved African population within our own borders (and we didn’t fight a Civil War over slavery).

So maybe people here are slightly less aware of how inappropriate it is to use the word slave in connection with someone of African heritage?

'She clearly used slave for a reason instead of granny’s little helper or similar. Honestly I’d be wary about leaving him alone with her'.

Unbelievable.

I assume you righteous dudes never ever say "what did your last slave die of? ", then?

Nope. Have never said this. And I'm pretty old. It may be relevant that I have lived most of my life in the US Deep South.

Yanbu. Doubtless innocent, but that doesn’t mean shouldn’t be called out.

@SenecaFall It's a British Expression. But, ah we don't tend to dress up in white sheets either

I do think there is an element of looking for offence where a word/expression is in common usage and no offence is intended.

I can assure you I am not 'looking for offence' when someone uses the expression 'throwing a paddy' or 'Irish twins', and I am completely uninterested your intention.

I assume you righteous dudes never ever say "what did your last slave die of? ", then?

I have, just as I call my white child a naughty little monkey -- would I say either, as a white woman, to a black person? Not likely.

Yanbu

won't be long before the "s" word is as infra dig as the "n" on, then. Then we will stop using it, and we will need a new word to replace all the technical engineering terms. "s" motors, " s" cylinders", and the like.

@Senecafalls - yes it probably is a British usage.

Fun fact: FAR more black (and middle eastern) people have owned slaves than those big, bad, nasty whiteys. Even worse, they haven't given it up yet!
So wind yer necks in and stop feeling so bloody guilty!

I actually don't think she's either stupid or racist! Possibly a little tired. It was honestly not something I had expected to hear coming out of her mouth. My grandma says some quite questionable things most of the time, but she is pretty ignorant

yes it probably is a British usage.

Well, I have lived in the UK. Didn't say it then either.

Yanbu. Definitely negative connotations with that word