Parents of mixed race children

[Iamnotagoddess]

I have two older children who are white (as am I) and a son who is mixed race.

Is it just me or do people behave a bit differently towards you when look nothing like your child?

Parents evenings the teachers always seemed to direct the comments etc to DS dad (as if I was a step parent) and I took DS to a dental appointment a while ago and the Orthodontist asked me three times who I was....?

My DS is only one but can honestly say I haven't really had this. We've just moved to stay with family in a rural (v white) area so I've had a few nosy looks from local people who know my parents but no one has said anything directly. Perhaps it helps that my son, whilst obviously not white, does look a lot like me facially.

One of my oldest friends married a guy whose family were originally from Bangladesh. She's as white as white could be. They have a DS and a DD.
If you saw DS, you'd just assume he was one of those kids who tans easily. Perhaps some Mediterranean blood in there somewhere? His hair is mid-brown, and gets blondy bits in the summer.
DD however, is much darker, in hair and skin tone, and much more her dads colouring than her mums. However, she doesn't "look Asian"... It's hard to put your finger on it. But both kids have their mums face shape/bone structure.

I am a mixed race daughter- people continue to poorly hide their surprise when I introduce the white lady that they had assumed was not with me as my mum.
I can go and chat to her whilst she's in a supermarket queue and get stares of 'why are you pushing in' until I make a big deal of calling her 'mum'.
We once had people assume we must be a same-sex couple over being related (there's 37 years between us!)

Im usually asked if im his Nanny!!

@iamnotagoddess I myself have used 'what you mean is, why am I not brown/ why am I not white?' a few times when people have done the
'where are you from?'
'essex',
'no where are you really from?'
'well I lived in Liverpool for a few years?'
'no, originally?'
'my mother's womb?'
'and where's your mother from?'
'herefordshire!'
exchange, because we all know what they are really getting at is 'i want to know why you're not white'! So I'll sometimes throw in a 'i think what you really mean is, why am I not white?' and they'll squirm but also yes, yes that is what they mean

But although my ds is mixed Indian white people often think he is thai or Malaysian!

Casual racism is more common than you'd think. And often the people who say these things don't even realise that they are being racist. I once was fostering a Nigerian baby, and I left my 16 year old daughter outside a shop with her. A woman came and sat with them and started chatting to my daughter about the baby. She said "Aww! Look at her, it's a shame, isn't it?" My daughter asked her what she meant, and she said "Well, she's so beautiful, it's a shame she's black".
A slightly different thing, but I was reminded by @IncyWincyHider , I used to work with severely disabled adults. A work mate was out one day with G, who has cerebral palsy , and a severe learning disability, and uses a wheelchair. A man said to my friend "What's up with him then?" pointing at G. Quick as a flash, D said "G? Oh there's nothing wrong with G. He had a cold, but he's better now, aren't you, G?"

I've often had it assumed my DCs aren't mine, although they look pretty typically white/black mixed race. Sometimes I've been mistaken for their childminder. I've also had them mistaken for my friend's (who is mixed) whilst her child thought to be mine (child is white), although I can see how that would be an easy, if incorrect, assumption to make. We live in the SE so would have assumed pre-DCs we wouldn't have to deal with as much of this: wrong.

The worst comment I've had has been a vicar who looked at (then) 2yo and 3mo DCs, did a very obvious 'look me up and down' and bluntly said 'You're a single mother'. It wasn't even phrased as a question, more a statement of fact. I'm the daughter of a single mum and have nothing but respect for those going it alone, but he clearly doesnt. It was just so loaded with negative connotations. I wish I had said something more now, but at the time I was so taken aback I could only manage a (put on) confused look and a 'No. Married.' followed by a hard stare. I seriously doubt he would have said the same had my DCs been white.

I am white with blonde hair and blue eyes, DH is Berber.
Even though our 4 DCs have inherited his brown eyes and tan easily, people often assume they cannot be his because they haven't got a typical North African bone structure.

think it's mor e down to the fact that you have white and mixed race chilcdfen , not just having mixed rAce children

It isn't. When people meet just me with my mixed race DD, they still ask daft questions.
They still assume the Asian friend I'm having lunch with is her mum (even though she's not Asian and I'm the one sitting next to her and cutting up her food).
They still ask where she's from and where she gets her colour.

It may be because I'm white, but people who are BAME and are adults/DCs on their own also still get daft questions, rude questions, and racist comments.