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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To kick my cousin out??

51 replies

Nogoodnickname · 19/05/2019 01:10

Ok so I’ll try and keep this as brief as possible. My cousin was living with her bf but they split up about 6 weeks ago. She was meant to be staying with our nan but one reason and another she couldn’t. I said she could stay here for a couple of weeks as dh is working away and will be until June. Now,she’s been here for the 6 weeks she’s been back over here and I’m getting truly fed up. I have a ds who is 3 years old and I also suffer with anxiety. She’s literally helped around the house about 4 times since she’s been here,dishes done twice by her and hoovered up twice. I’ve just realised that I forgot to mention that she has a dog who is 18 years old and is doing horrible diarrhoea type shits in my garden!! Anyway she hadn’t paid a penny to me for staying here or bought any shopping at all up until yesterday when she gave me £100. She got a flat about 4 weeks ago that needs doing up as it’s literally an empty shell, she’s not even attempted to try and get started on doing any decorating in the last 4 weeks since she got it. The thing that’s winding me up the most is that she’s having phone call conversations a few times a week at 11-12-1am when I’m trying to sleep. I also have chronic kidney disease and my function is down to 17% so I always feel exhausted and especially looking after a 3 year old alone when dh is away. Her being on the phone til all hours keeping me awake is making things worse. I can feel myself getting really angry lately,my anxiety is getting worse because of what’s going on,I’m short tempered and snappy and I just wake up some days feeling so low with her being here now. My home does not feel like mine and ds anymore. I feel like I’m going to have some sort of mental breakdown or end up being really ill with my health problems if she stays for much longer. So wibu to just tell her to leave tomorrow?

OP posts:
Nogoodnickname · 19/05/2019 01:11

God that was a really long post. Sorry everyone!

OP posts:
AwdBovril · 19/05/2019 01:20

YANBU. Unless her flat is literally not fit for human habitation (no running water, cooking facilities or toilet), or otherwise in a dangerous state, (and if so, why) she could leave. Redecorating is just an aesthetic consideration. She could live in it while decorating and it might encourage her to pull her finger out & get on with it!

If she has no furniture could you help her to find a local charity that does second hand stuff? A lot will have some pretty decent stuff if you look.

Mummoomoocow · 19/05/2019 01:22

Your house, you decide who lives there. Not her choice

Graphista · 19/05/2019 01:26

She's totally taken the piss! She's likely sensed your near end of your tether - hence the sudden £100 - but that won't come close to what it's cost you to have her stay for so long.

As op say if it's purely a decor thing with new flat it won't kill her to sleep on a camp bed for a while till she sorts it all and that will motivate her.

You have your health and ds to consider.

Nogoodnickname · 19/05/2019 01:28

AwdBovril. It is fit for human habitation and she also has about £2000 saved up for furniture. She’s just well and truly taking the p*s as she knows she’s got it so easy here not doing f*k all. She’s on the phone once again tonight, I’ve just went downstairs to tell her to keep it down and we ended up having an argument. She’s still on the phone now and has made no attempt to keep her voice down. I’m just so angry with her. She doesn’t have to be up at 6.30am with a 3 year old or have to contend with the health problems that I have Angry

OP posts:
plumrade · 19/05/2019 01:30

Tell her to go. She's a cf.

Purpleartichoke · 19/05/2019 01:36

She can have a mattress delivered tomorrow. She can either throw that on the floor or spring for rails. If she puts it on the floor because she wants to buy a fancier frame, I would also buy a folding chair of some kind. Boom. Apartment ready for habitation.

EileenAlanna · 19/05/2019 01:46

YANBU Tell her to go. Today. She has a place & money so she's not in need.

k1233 · 19/05/2019 01:48

I'd be telling her in the morning that, as she has no consideration for you, she can pack her stuff and move to her own flat today. If I was feeling particularly bitchy I'd also ask for money, whatever I thought sounded good, to cover the food etc while she had been staying. I'd express my disappointment in having to ask.

Homebird8 · 19/05/2019 01:49

She definitely needs to go and live in her own home. It will be a home the moment she is there, furniture or no furniture. Off she pops. You’re home is not hers.

AwdBovril · 19/05/2019 02:01

Maybe she doesn't have to be up at 6:30 with a 6 y/o, but is there anything stopping your 6 y/o marching up & down outside her room singing/banging a drum etc? And once she's awake, you can tell her the good news - she won't have to put up with your darling alarm click any more. Lucky her... Wink

ArcheryAnnie · 19/05/2019 02:05

She has somewhere to go, she's making your life a misery, she can move out tomorrow.

DioneTheDiabolist · 19/05/2019 02:06

Shes got a flat. Why has she not moved into it?Confused

Cruelstepmother · 19/05/2019 02:06

YANBU. Kick her out - and tell her to clean up after her dog before she goes! Ewwww.

Antigon · 19/05/2019 05:01

She’s arguing with you in your home? Kick the lazy shit out!

RebootYourEngine · 19/05/2019 05:06

I'm with everyone else. Get rid of her. It is your home not hers so she can leave tomorrow.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 19/05/2019 05:32

Sunday is a good day to move. Now would be a good time for your DS to help her get up and make an early start.

Penners99 · 19/05/2019 06:21

Wake her up now and tell her she has 10 minutes to get her lazy arse out and to never come back.

Cornishclio · 19/05/2019 06:25

YANBU. Tell her this morning this is not working for you and she has to go today. Maybe your NaN knew what she was doing by not having her stay with her. She is inconsiderate and a user. You have health issues, no partner with your DH away and a toddler so quite rightly you can not cope with a spoilt inconsiderate houseguest.

fghkhfdryjkv · 19/05/2019 06:26

Go back in, tell her to pack her stuff and leave.

PregnantSea · 19/05/2019 06:26

So the flat has running water and she has money saved for furniture? Tell her to get the hell out and go to her own house. She's not a good house guest. She sounds selfish.

If you don't want to boot her out immediately then tell her she's got 2 days to sort herself out. Stick to it.

NauseousMum · 19/05/2019 06:50

She's inconsiderate and rude. You are doing her a massive favour, you ask her to be considerate on the phone and she continues...

Tell her to leave today. She will cry off until next weekend otherwise plus she's so entitled She may help herself to your things so you should be around.

Take your key back or arrange for one to be changed. Get her up now, she can start packing.

Starfish28 · 19/05/2019 06:59

Kick her out today. No negotiation just tell her to pack and go.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 19/05/2019 07:32

I’d just tell her you are delighted to have been able to help her for soooo long but she needs to leave (give her a date)

No chat, no negotiation.

Onescaredmuma · 19/05/2019 07:47

I think I'd tell her this isn't working and she has to leave good luck OP.