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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To kick my cousin out??

51 replies

Nogoodnickname · 19/05/2019 01:10

Ok so I’ll try and keep this as brief as possible. My cousin was living with her bf but they split up about 6 weeks ago. She was meant to be staying with our nan but one reason and another she couldn’t. I said she could stay here for a couple of weeks as dh is working away and will be until June. Now,she’s been here for the 6 weeks she’s been back over here and I’m getting truly fed up. I have a ds who is 3 years old and I also suffer with anxiety. She’s literally helped around the house about 4 times since she’s been here,dishes done twice by her and hoovered up twice. I’ve just realised that I forgot to mention that she has a dog who is 18 years old and is doing horrible diarrhoea type shits in my garden!! Anyway she hadn’t paid a penny to me for staying here or bought any shopping at all up until yesterday when she gave me £100. She got a flat about 4 weeks ago that needs doing up as it’s literally an empty shell, she’s not even attempted to try and get started on doing any decorating in the last 4 weeks since she got it. The thing that’s winding me up the most is that she’s having phone call conversations a few times a week at 11-12-1am when I’m trying to sleep. I also have chronic kidney disease and my function is down to 17% so I always feel exhausted and especially looking after a 3 year old alone when dh is away. Her being on the phone til all hours keeping me awake is making things worse. I can feel myself getting really angry lately,my anxiety is getting worse because of what’s going on,I’m short tempered and snappy and I just wake up some days feeling so low with her being here now. My home does not feel like mine and ds anymore. I feel like I’m going to have some sort of mental breakdown or end up being really ill with my health problems if she stays for much longer. So wibu to just tell her to leave tomorrow?

OP posts:
Acis · 19/05/2019 08:10

Given her complete refusal to act with ordinary consideration for your health, tell her she's leaving today. Can you get anyone else round to support you?

SammySamSam09 · 19/05/2019 08:33

Yay today is moving day!
I would wake her up now and help her pack.

imonlyatoyspider · 19/05/2019 08:40

You must think of your health op. If it's damaging that she must leave.

Cherrysoup · 19/05/2019 09:05

So tell her to go now, nothing stopping her going.

thegreatcrestednewt · 19/05/2019 09:09

What a selfish person. On the phone at 130am and arguing with you about it? She needs to move out.

maddening · 19/05/2019 09:14

Wake her up and tell her that for the sake of your relationship she needs to go today.

Dillydallyalltheway · 19/05/2019 09:20

from experience, the longer you allow her to stay there rent board and bills free, the longer she will continue to take the piss.

Tell her she has to go now. Is she working? If not, is she getting housing benefits? If she is getting benefits then she is committing fraud, and she will eventually get caught out and have to pay it all back.i understand I might be sounding judgmental about benefits etc but it might help you if she is. Good luck.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 19/05/2019 09:20

If she jas 2k saved the least she can give you is 600 minus the 100£ for bed and board....and this would be massively cheap....

rainbowstardrops · 19/05/2019 09:31

Tell her she needs to leave now that she has her own flat.
No discussion, no negotiations.

Treaclesweet · 19/05/2019 09:45

Absolutely kick her out the nasty cow, she is using you!

Nogoodnickname · 19/05/2019 10:31

Thank you everyone. I’m not very good when it comes to confrontation especially with family but I’m at the end of my tether with her absolute selfishness and total disregard for my son and me and my health problems. Ds was up at 6.30am being very loud which I allowed him to do to wake her up. Lazy cow is still in bed now though no matter how loud we’ve been.

I shall update to let you all know how this ends but I’ll be telling her today that she has got to go.

OP posts:
NauseousMum · 19/05/2019 11:25

She will stay there all day OP. Can you drag her out? Bang on her door and tell the lazy sod now?

imonlyatoyspider · 19/05/2019 12:02

Good luck 😉 op.

wizzler · 19/05/2019 21:42

How did it go?

calpoppincalpol · 20/05/2019 21:01

So what happened? Is she gone? Are you okay?

ThePerturbedPenguin · 20/05/2019 21:04

What a fucking cow!! I can’t even believe anyone would be so rude and inconsiderate. She clearly doesn’t give a shit about you and your son, I’m so sorry.

Cryalot2 · 20/05/2019 21:22

Flowers tell her to go .give her 48 hours to leave .

Poloshot · 20/05/2019 22:06

Hope you've told her to sling her hook

Nogoodnickname · 23/05/2019 20:16

Sorry for the late update everyone. DS was ill with a cold on Monday and I ended up having to phone an ambulance for him later that day as he couldn’t breathe at all and ended up having nebulisers oxygen and steroids. This has happened since he was about 1 but he was given a brown inhaler so had been going good for about a year whenever he got a cold up until Monday Sad. I told my cousin that day that she had to go and find somewhere else to go. I had to for the sake of my son and my own sanity. She’s now found a house and is living there for the next 6 months. DH is back home for 2 weeks and my little boy is on the mend so everything is finally good in my life again Smile. Thank you for the support,don’t think I would’ve had the guts to do it if I hadn’t put my post up on here xx

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 23/05/2019 20:24

Hope your ds is ok now.

Why hasn’t your cousin just moved into her flat? Weird.

Graphista · 23/05/2019 20:27

Well done!

Although I too don't understand why she hasn't just moved into the flat. Glad things are good for you & yours though.

Nogoodnickname · 23/05/2019 20:55

She was basically subletting the flat from a friend of hers who was living with his girlfriend elsewhere but he didn’t want rent from her. He phoned about a week ago saying he’d split from his girlfriend and was going to the flat. My cousin got in touch with a friend of hers and managed to get a house from her friends landlord,confusing I know but I’m just glad she’s gone. DS is on the mend,those steroids done wonders to help him get better so much quicker than previous times and he’s in antibiotics for a suspected chest infection,his usual twice daily dose of his brown inhaler and also his blue inhaler every 6-8 hours which we need to wean him off gradually x

OP posts:
Nogoodnickname · 23/05/2019 21:35

Just to clarify too. DH had been working away in Iraq as an electrical engineer and had been away for a few months so was allowed to take leave if needed. He wasn’t actually due back until the end of June but I think with him knowing how stressed I was with having my cousin here he decided to take early leave as he knew I was getting bad and knows that I don’t like confrontation so thought I’d just let her stay and he’s come back early to make sure she goes

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 24/05/2019 06:14

Well done OP! Did your cousin fall over herself with thanks and gratitude when she left?

Nogoodnickname · 24/05/2019 08:19

No rainbow she didn’t, I knew she wouldn’t as that’s what she’s like.

OP posts: