MIL "offended" by what I feed my child

[Barneythedinosaur]

My child (1y) mainly eats home cooked meals, with the odd occasional child ready meal if needed. Snack wise, she eats specific "children's" snacks, like Ella's kitchen and organix.

Apparently mil is offended by this, and doesn't understand why I don't just give her "normal" food like chicken nuggets, chocolate bars and crisps (quavers, wotsits etc). She's particularly offended by the fact its all organic. I have explained that meals aren't organic, and the snacks are because I've not actually seen non organic children's snacks anywhere rather then me specifically saying it must be organic.

I'm happy for dd to eat food like that occasionally, but not as part of her normal day to day food. Am I being ridiculous?
My response when dh told me (I wasn't there when mil said it) was that as mil isn't dds parent she has no say so it's irrelevant really.

I wouldn't give two fucks what your MIL thinks. Wasted energy. I had a MIL who claimed breastfeeding was "unnatural" and had absolutely no clue what healthy eating is. I never cared what her opinion was.

My Dm laughed in my face when I told her that DS’s first solid food was potato mixed with breastmilk. She thought it was ridiculous that I wouldn’t use jars of baby food.

Her generation didn't know any better... But you do. Ignore her nonsense, it's not up to her what your DD eats. She can give her junk food on the sly when you aren't around if she really wants to, but the majority of your Dd's diet is controlled by you. So what she thinks is irrelevant.

Jeez, you wanna try raising a child as a vegan. The amount of judgement is unbelievable. Especially from PIL. They just can’t accept that a bean burger made from lentils and vegetables is better for you than a meat burger filled with hormones and crap.

Just ignore her. My MIL is constantly making snide comments and turning her nose up at pretty much all of my parenting. She's just being bitchy and trying to undermine me so I have learnt to respond by giving zero fucks.

Incidentally, jar baby food has been blamed for Mad Cow Disease.

I was told I was ‘cruel’ for not feeding my baby and toddler sweets, ‘children need them’ apparently Whenever we were at relatives house they would try feed chips and pick and mix etc. Very irritating

PregnantSea, her generation (my generation) know perfectly well, thank you. Maybe you don't.

OP, I think you should carry on as you are. She's feeling threatened because you are making a different decision to her, and she knows that your approach is the recommended one. That is her problem, not yours.

A friend's MIL (who is of this type) told DS loudly when he was about 2 "that's not cake!" when I gave him a scone in a cafe and said "here's your cake".
Erm he's 2 and doesn't know the difference and I'd like to keep it that way thanks!

It’s crazy isn’t it. I’ve had an in-law call me cruel for not giving 3yo ds Pepsi, when he doesn’t like fizzy drinks anyway, and try to smuggle a whole bag of cream eggs into our house in a toy lorry.

Just say “we’ll have to agree to disagree on that one “ and ignore her. She has no say.

Ignore. Dd is a vegetarian and puts up with a lots of eyebrow raising from in-laws who are unable to get to grips with the fact that it’s not a faddy, pernickity diet bound to cause ill-health.

My MIL was another who couldn't see why dd couldn't eat baby food from jars instead of the home cooked stuff I provided.

I worked out later that it was because she wanted dd, at 6 months, to be able to stay with her for weeks on end and she didn't want to (or couldn't) make purees. She didn't like me giving dd cucumber sticks, carrot sticks, apple slices, raw mushrooms etc either.

I never worked out why MIL was so keen on my using Ribena as dd's principle drink; from when dd was 6 WEEKS old she was nagging me to give her that vile stuff! (Or Coca Cola)

IncrediblySadToo windygate
DH told me as while rolling his eyes. He said his reply was "well that's what we want her to eat so that's what we choose to feed her".

Namelessinseattle
Shes also very odd about the fact dd doesnt watch TV. I don't actually think I've ever sat her watching TV yet. Of course she sometimes watches whatever I'm watching, but I don't think I've ever put children's TV on for her, we just play. Mil pulls faces about that too (if she asks about if dd likes a TV show or something and I say I dont think shes ever seen it)

Snack wise, she eats specific "children's" snacks, like Ella's kitchen and organix

But aren't these full of sugar too?

www.choice.com.au/babies-and-kids/feeding-your-baby/first-foods/articles/packaged-baby-snacks

www.nhs.uk/news/food-and-diet/is-shop-bought-baby-food-too-sweet/

TBH my MIL was just the same, apparently DS would starve if I didn't feed him "properly" on Heinz jars. This from the woman who weaned her children at 6 weeks onto condensed milk because they needed fattening up. Yes the entire In Laws family is chronically obese. Or big boned as she likes to call it.

@unicornbrexit as a HV that’s probably one of the worst weaning stories I’ve heard (and we hear a lot!). babies digestive systems are so immature that she’s lucky they survived!

OP this is so common from DM’s and MIL’s unfortunately with any aspect of parenting. They take it as a personal attack against how they raised you/your DP and don’t stop for a second to consider how much things have changed and how much more easily accessible knowledge we have nowadays. Children who are fed regular food and occasional treats are much better at regulating (as opposed to free reign or the opposite, no junk at all) and therefore grow up with healthier eating habits and less chance of eating disorders or obesity when they’re older. Ignore it!

OP do you know what she actually said? She may have just made some throwaway comment because your eating habits are so different from hers. Was she actually offended?

I have raised both my sons on a healthy, mainly organic, diet which my eldest has continued at uni. He is in halls and is amazed that most of other students have such a poor (but expensive) diet made up of microwave instant meals and takeaways. The home cooks are very much in the minority. He often cooks a big meal for his mates and they are very appreciative.

People can get funny about diets. It's almost like a comment on their lifestyle choice. I have been a vegetarian for many years and have never commented or criticised anyone else's diet but have had very defensive reactions from a few meat eaters. I often wonder if, because of my dietary choice, they feel an implied criticism of their own?

My exPIL(thank god theyreEX!)were also a big porkers&acted all offended when i didnt want DC offered ice cream after b'fast&deep fried everything at any other meal-the house reeked like old fatFFS ..she kept telling me i couldnt control DC forever&thats what kids eat so wasnt i going to have a shockShe also objected to me not giving kids fizzy drinks..all from a family with gallstones,obesity&heart-attack..the manky pigs are permanently NC as their waster son only wanted to be a dad for about a year(i thank the gods on a daily basis)im the proud mum of stunningDC with no fillings or health issues.Stick to your guns&tell them its2019 &people know better these days!

Very interesting to read this topic. I am MIL’s generation, our children were brought up on a farm, no access to processed food, and had no fizzy drinks or sweets except very rarely, as too far from shops. They did have occasional homemade cake, drank milk, or water, and NHS orange juice. All grew up able to cook, bake bread, etc, and all have excellent teeth and are normal weights. It’s their experience also in halls that cooking, baking etc, and keeping a clean kitchen was unusual. I would never criticise my children’s methods of feeding, or my DIL, they have done brilliantly. All their children also are the right weight and all have beautiful teeth. Maybe also none of us have had much money to buy treats or bought meals, and not available here. Also perhaps upbringing has a lot to do with it. Lots of older people who grew up after the rationing of the forties and fifties associate plAin food with low sugar with austerity.

Have to admit though that I love chocolate, and drinking chocolate, though don’t often have it, but wouldn’t give sweets or fizzy drinks to children. I absolutely love fizzy water though!

Did he actually say she was “offended”? What a very strange reaction! Why did he tell you?

Actually, thinking about it, there are threads on here where people seem to be angry and offended by the very fact of someone else being vegan or vegetarian- might it be something like that? Anyway- best ignored.

That's very bizarre and actually not even her business let alone reason for her to get offended. She sounds very insecure. Just try to ignore and continue as normal.

it's very odd isn't it but I think pretty common I know my parents stick by what I say with my sons diet and he has a normal diet with treats sometimes. We don't really see in laws but I know from when they have had their other grandchildren they fed them McDonald's, loads of biscuits, tea, hot chocolate and on one occasion Lucozade. My son only likes water or milk and has lots of fruit and veg but just what I would class as a normal diet. Although some friends were surprised he was eating spinach which I didn't think was strange. Sometimes my grandma comments on what he eats but in a good way that he has good appetite/ eats most things. She told me she used to blend food ( e.g. dinners ) and add a spoonful of sugar to get my sad to eat them!

oh my son didnt watch tv till he was 2 i dont usually tell people that as I think it's definetly seen as a criticism if they did even though I really don't care.

Let her be offended OP..if thats all she is offended by then I would suggest you are doing a great job! It is also not your job to police her feelings so I would ignore and carry on regardless...