Champions league ban at wedding

[User12038483]

Were attending a wedding the day of the champion leagues final, now Liverpool have gotten to the final DH understandably wants to watch it. The majority of people attending are from Liverpool and the surrounding areas, my DH included. The couple getting married have now put out a notice saying that they have chosen not to screen the champions league, and they do not want anyone to ask for it to be put on, to leave and watch it or to be watching it on any devices and to please respect that this day is about them.

On one hand, I get it.. it's your wedding day. You want it to be about you. But DH and his brothers aren't willing to miss such a massive game and are now trying to work out a plan to be able to watch it and then return to the wedding after. It ended with DH and I having a bit of an argument because I think it's extremely rude to leave, watch the game and return. It's just been left with they will be watching and that's that, they think the bride and groom are being unreasonable to put a blanket ban on the whole thing and not just shove it on a tele in the bar. There's over 200 guests invited to the wedding.

Who's being unreasonable?

No one's holding you hostage. Just suggesting that flouncing out of your friend's wedding early to watch a football game (that seems to happen fairly often) is rude and makes you a bit of a shit friend.

So, they have a high proportion of Liverpudlian guests, and know a good number of them care about the footie. The actual wedding, and party set-pieces will be concluded before kick-off. Somthey will,have prioritised the couple for all the important bits, then want fun in the evening.

The hosts can ban the showing of the game, but need to expect that these guests will simply leave at 7:45 (or earlier, and are not likely to return).

Finding a compromise - showing in a side room or the bar, perhaps - so guests remain and rejoin the party might be a more pragmatic approach, but if the B&G don't want it, that's their call.

Many MNetters simply don't get the importance of this to supporters. It's a real shame some are so snide about it all. Because there are always going to be events (and people will have different opinions on those events) that can make or mar a wedding. It's not just sports, it's things like terrorist attacks or outbreaks of wars which dominate mood, or a royal wedding plonked on the same day, or a death in the family, and one day national mourning following the death of the queen.

When one of those hits your day, you won't get the day you planned, but you can still have a meaningful and memorable day (and in the case of sports or other celebrations, an extra-happy one). But it's usually better to work with the new circs, whatever thy are, rather than make a (probably doomed) attempt to airbrush them out.

In what fucking world is a football game comparable in importance to a terrorist attack or the outbreak of war?

Who's flouncing out?
Going up to the B&G thanking them for a wonderful day and hoping they have a lovely honeymoon before saying goodnight isn't flouncing.

It's leaving an event when I'd be ready to.

It may or may not be as important

But the potential to impact on a wedding is just as high.

Flexibility is often a good thing when faced with the unexpected, whatever the causative event (and whether people respect it or sneer at it)

When my Dh insists on watching boring as shite football matches, I make it more interesting for myself by putting a bet on the result. Only a couple of quid, but enough to give me an interest in the result!
Maybe your b&g could put a telly up showing the match and encourage everyone to have a flutter? On the understanding that any winnings go to a charity of their choice (or their honeymoon fund ..if they’re cheeky enough!)
That way, everyone has a vested interest.

Anyone would think Liverpool haven't been in a Champions League final before!

I think if you leave you at some point to watch the game, you should not come back to the wedding.

I've been put in mind of the thread where the DH had been invited to an engagement party on the day of an already-accepted wedding invitation.

Loads of posters said that he should go to the engagement party and the DW should take a random friend as the plus-one (or even just scrub the plus-one, if numbers not yet finalised with caterers). And that the B&G ought to be fine and understanding of this.

It's quite funny to see the interactions of the different tribes on MN !

"I think if you leave you at some point to watch the game, you should not come back to the wedding."

Yes, I think a lot of guests will take that approach

Flexibility is often a good thing when faced with the unexpected, whatever the causative event (and whether people respect it or sneer at it)

agree.

I think if you leave you at some point to watch the game, you should not come back to the wedding

Do you actually think people would want to?

DH is not much of a football fan(thank god!) but I found him watching the World Cup Final once, so I sat down with him and provided my own commentary......

Think your DH and his friends need to learn how to behave like adults- it's a football match that will be heavily reported/recordable/reported upon.
If you've already accepted the invitation, it would be so incredibly rude to leave and then expect to return to the reception honestly!
Aside from being hugely disrespectful to the happy couple and the plans I'm sure they've made, sounds terribly childish to place higher importance on a game ahead of friends wedding?!?
It's a no brainier for me and I live with an obsessive football fan but he'd never do this at a wedding no way..... that's what sky plus is for!

It is not unreasonable for the bride and groom to choose not to show the champions league final at their reception. It is unreasonable to expect to dictate to invited guests under what circumstances they can use their mobile phones.

Equally it is not unreasonable for invited guests to leave after the vows, speeches and meal. The most important part of the day is the vows.

Aren't people exaggerating the phone issue though?

The OP says "they have chosen not to screen the champions league, and they do not want anyone to ask for it to be put on, to leave and watch it or to be watching it on any devices".

So they just don't want people watching the game huddled round their phones like mini-TVs. They don't seem to want to stop people checking the score occasionally etc.

For many checking the score isn't enough.

They've stated they don't want people to leave to watch it. Tough luck. You don't want people to leave. Then they need to show it.

Most brides and grooms are so busy at weddings that they don’t have any time to spend with their guests so I’m not sure they’ll even notice if a few football fans disappear off for a bit! I think they’re being unreasonable. Weddings are long days and often boring. They should embrace the football and make it part of the evening entertainment.

Yes, contraception, I was reflecting on a PP's thought that "It is unreasonable to expect to dictate to invited guests under what circumstances they can use their mobile phones." because I'm not sure the couple are actually dictating phone use to a huge extent.

You've made it very clear that you would want to watch the whole game, no matter how rude others may think that is.

OP, please don't feel you need to defend your husband's character, education, social status or whatever to pander to those contributors to the thread who are either being deliberately goady or, even more pitiably, are so lacking in self-esteem they feel obliged to signal loudly the evidence of their imagined class or social superiority.

Just to make the point that having one's team reaching a Champions League is a huge event for any football fan, but this particular final is an especially huge occasion because:
a) It is two English teams (likewise the UEFA final; a wonderful achievement for English football at the end of an extraordinarily exciting year for the Premiership title race);
b) Both teams' achievement in reaching the final is greatly enhanced by utterly superb and against-the-odds performances at the semi-final stage;
c) Liverpool are coming to this final after an exceptional Premier League effort in which they ultimately fell short despite losing only one game out of 38 (to their ultimate vanquishers) and finishing on more points in second place than most teams accumulate to win it; and
d) It is a particularly exciting event, too, for Spurs' fans, whose team would have been on very long odds to get to this final. Truly a once in a generation occasion.

I do feel sorry for the bride and groom and the many others like them facing the same dilemma. Like many previous posters, I think the best solution would be to embrace it. Incorporate it into the schedule and get into the excitement of it all. It could easily make for a really memorable and wonderful day. It is one of those unfortunate things, which can either be embraced or resisted.

In your husband's position, I, too, would be decamping to my room for the match.

For those saying the invitation should have been declined at the outset, the clash only became apparent last week, once the semi-final games were played.

@PCohle there are people in the world who would think it rude for a guest to say their goodbyes at 8pm when the whole wedding was over :/

Hope I don't encounter these weirdos.

Depends on why they're leaving

I guess unless your a football fan avoiding the month of May incase would never cross your mind. Know my friend wouldn't have a clue.

Know if was my wedding think be embracing it thinking its a shame both teams can't lose.

oh my god, bride and groom 100%. my DF and rest of the family would never miss the final, for ANYBODY.

Three things to say:

1. With all the planning that generally goes into a wedding wouldn't it be a good idea to check the schedules of the major sporting events for Football, Cricket, Grand Prix etc to avoid a clash? I really don't want to get married on the day of the FA Cup final !
2. Ask yourself if you'd be so indignant about people wanting to watch if it was a not a football match but a Royal Wedding or a coronation.
3. The champions league final, (especially this one between two English teams) is a VERY big deal for football fans and kick off is 8pm, long after the ceremony and speeches etc - surely the thing to do is to put a TV in an ante room at the reception. That way everyone is at the party and people will go back and forth. What better way to make (or kill) the atmosphere at a party?

I am not a football fan but understand watching your favourite time in the final of the champions league is a massive deal to a fan. Especially one that has is between 2 England Premiership teams.