To ask if you lost your mum as a teenager

[parrotisland]

And how it has impacted you now?

I am approaching 40 and I can honestly say it's - not quite ruined my life, but made my life go in a different direction.

Not sure if it's just me or if it's the same for everybody.

Not my mum, but lost my dad at 9 and it heavily impacted my childhood. It does taint some things, how i didn't cry at my wedding i don't know. But i do appreciate how short life can be.

I was 12 when my mum died. She had cancer but had not told any of us so we didn’t know and her death was a massive shock.

When I was pregnant with DD, I suffered from antenatal depression and afterwards I read that if you lose your mum as a teen you are more likely to develop antenatal and postnatal depression. I didn’t ever figure out why but it did make sense.

My mum’s death did have a massively impact on my life but the positive element is that I know (that barring anything bad happening to DD) I can cope with anything that life throws at me. I became incredibly resourceful and resilient and I also don’t suffer fools very easily. I see people who claim to have problems and I struggle to have sympathy as often these problems are thingsI would consider minor irritations based on my own experiences. So I would say losing my mum at 12 had made me harder.

It's interesting with the whole becoming older than they ever were. I've just turned 43 my mum died 2 weeks before her 43rd birthday. I had been sort of wondering about how it would feel. But actually calmer than I thought I'd be. I find grief at this stage almost 30 years on a bit strange. It still happens but it's a slightly disconnected sensation for me. Although some things can bring it roaring back, but that doesn't happen often. More likely when I encounter someone else who is grieving.

I lost my Mum when I was 10. Honestly? Thinking back, it has not impacted me as much as it probably would if she had died now (I am in my 20s). I remember when my family told me she died and I screamed and cried. It did upset me for a while but as I got older, I do not really think about her now. I sound terrible but the thing is, she was an alcoholic and my childhood was a misery when I was younger because she was always drunk, talking and causing problems with my Dad. I am horrible but I was just too young to fully understand it all at the time.