To think I am 'careful' and not 'cheap'

[goawaywillya]

Okay a bit of back ground story. My dd1 attends a sn school and recently became good friends with a new girl in the school. This little girl is from a quite well off family and wants for nothing.
Today at a social event I got chatting to this child's mother who told me about how they had recently spent £120 on a new princess bed for dd and how they have a planned holiday to NZ next year to visit family. She also described going to the cinema or local play centres each weekend and how the eldest dd has violin lessons etc
Then she asked about my own circumstances and I described what I do on a frequent basis to save money she looked shocked and said ' oh. We should be cheap too'. I was a bit 🙄 and when she said ' if you can ever afford to eat out as a family you should try Nando's, they're cheap 'I was like

I'm not jealous of this family. They have good jobs and deserve to spend their own money as they see fit, but AIBU to see myself as 'careful ' rather than 'cheap'. Some of what I do is-

. Dress dd2 in ds old trousers as boys clothes are tougher anyway and her dresses are worn again as tops with leggings.
.once a week I raid the fridge/ freezer and dinner is a mix of this ( I hate waste)
. I sew and darn clothes and can replace a zip
. I have made sardine heads into a pizza topping before
.i have invited family to dinner and kept their left over bones to make stock
. Do not eat out because it's not affordable and I would be shocked by the prices anyway.
I make my own laundry liquid/powder
.i make cake out of banana skins and also out of whole oranges and lemons including pips
.instead of paying huge fees for holiday activities I take the kids to chase the pigeons and feed them sausage roll crumbs outside our local Greggs 😳 or just to play at the park
Our local children's centre does nice low cost/ free activities also.
.i have bought cheap products from Asda and placed it into an empty box of 'posh' product.
. I regift unwanted presents for birthdays or Xmas
.i make vinegar from 🍏 cores
.i once made a homemade suncream when I could not afford a bottle of the real stuff
. I love charity shops and bought dds birthday gift there for under £10. Plus we have taken the kids there to spend their pocket money on toys and books.
.if something is over £5 I will struggle to buy it on principle
.. I grate used bars of soap to make new full bars
. I love summer, i don't have to use the heating 😁
. I buy clothes for ages older than the dcs are so they grow into them and I feel I'm getting my money's worth.
. I got rid of my tv licence and now just use Netflix and YouTube.

See, it's nothing extreme, just trying to save money as we go along. I'm sorry this post is so long , it's just hard to stop once started.

.

I was brought up in a very frugal family wearing lots of hand me downs, make do and mend and eating very humble cheap food.

Which is why I really appreciate being able to afford new clothes and furniture, quality ingredients and meals out now. You would be shocked by my spending OP but I just live to live life and not spend all my energy on scrimping. I'm not super rich but I do prefer my life now.

This has got to be a wind up. FAF though 😂😂😂

@Nofilter I always buy kids clothes on the big side if it won't matter that they're a bit big, doesn't everybody?! I got my niece a t-shirt size age 11 for her birthday and she was 7! not to mention she's really tall and I didn't think the closer aged ones would be long enough Obviously some things need to be not too big otherwise they wouldn't fit but still.

What was the posh product?

Any guesses?

Did you build your own computer/smart phone/tablet device from random bits found in the bins behind Curry’s? Or did you have to spend more than a fiver to be able to post on Mumsnet?
Btw, isn’t the ‘family dinner’ supposed to taste like pork, iirc from the Pirates of the Caribbean reference to ‘long pig’?

Sorry, but taking the kids on an outing to chase the pigeons............ made me laugh out loud.
Guess it could be fun.
Would make for interesting reading when kids write in school.....what did you do at the weekend.

Obviously some things need to be not too big otherwise they wouldn't fit but still.

You need to be more ambitious. Buy age 11 for a 3 year old.
T shirt can start as a full length night dress, then as they grow a dress, t shirt, crop top, before being cut into strips for hair bobbles, and finally in old age they can make slippers from it.

Yeah your extreme

I take the kids to chase the pigeons and feed them sausage roll crumbs outside our local Greggs

Do you mean you feed the children sausage roll crumbs outside Greggs or you feed the pigeons the crumbs? After reading the sardine head pizza it could be either.

Was she asking your financial situation or just asking what you, as family like to do? In which case something like "looking for frugal bargains" or "researching ways to keep most of my money in my pocket" would have been better.

I've been on the bones of my arse as a child, I'm talking not enough food for every meal, sitting in dark with no heating, wiping arse on The Sun type of poverty as a child and if I was making small talk with someone and they told me they saved sardine heads for pizzas, can't lie, my brain would be pulling this face 🥴

Absolutely would think you're cheap or tight, just weird for liking sardine head pizza.

see, it’s nothing extreme

Yes it is, you know that.

another person who loves materialism and it's trappings
Ahh! You aren’t bothered they apparently called you cheap, you want us to know you judge them.

I’m also surprised you told someone all that and they agreed they should be like you. Doesn’t seem likely.

@goawaywillya, you are the epitome of an inverted snob.

Also,

Mumsnet legend says you can feed a family of six on a chicken wing for three months. Might be worth digging that thread out?

(I'm being lighthearted there, just in case I sound like a cunt :) )

wiping arse on The Sun

Sounds like a good plan regardless of financial circumstances

Tight as a nun's knickers OP.

what did you do at the weekend.

We fought with pigeons for the sausage roll crumbs on the ground outside Greggs.

What on earth are sausage roll crumbs?

Your school mum describes her weekend of seeing a movie and buying a bed. You then launch into your rather odd description of saving money?? Couldn’t you have just told her you are taking the kids to chase pigeons, as they love doing it.

To be fair you need to buy girls tops three sizes too big now unless you like the pre-teen pole dancer look that's in fashion

Ignore them, OP. These are the kind of materialistic planet rapers who would rather buy a bed for their children instead of weaving them an apple core mattress and placing it on a frame constructed from twined human hair collected from the combs of Gregg's staff.

Desperately trying to cackle quietly next to my sleeping husband
My belly hurts! Sardine heads!

BlackcurrantJamonToast is my new favourite person on mumsnet

And mine. I am 😂😂 about the lifetime dress.

£120 is a very cheap bed imo

Pizza toppings can be mostly vegetarian, and anyway sardines are revolting. Just saying.

Banana skin cake? Save the cost of heating the oven and make pancakes instead.

£120 for a bed that will last is OK and I'm on the tight side of thrifty. £120 on a shitty princess bed that will be used for a year or two tops is stupid unless you enjoy wasting money.

Have now googled recipes for apple core vinegar and banana peel cake. They sound great, actually.
Slightly saddened by the materialism of most posters tonight...shouldn't be I suppose, but the stubborn refusal to face up to the consequences of our highly consumable and disposable society from, of all people, mums raising children for a future is quite terrifying.
You carry on, OP.