To think I am 'careful' and not 'cheap'

[goawaywillya]

Okay a bit of back ground story. My dd1 attends a sn school and recently became good friends with a new girl in the school. This little girl is from a quite well off family and wants for nothing.
Today at a social event I got chatting to this child's mother who told me about how they had recently spent £120 on a new princess bed for dd and how they have a planned holiday to NZ next year to visit family. She also described going to the cinema or local play centres each weekend and how the eldest dd has violin lessons etc
Then she asked about my own circumstances and I described what I do on a frequent basis to save money she looked shocked and said ' oh. We should be cheap too'. I was a bit 🙄 and when she said ' if you can ever afford to eat out as a family you should try Nando's, they're cheap 'I was like

I'm not jealous of this family. They have good jobs and deserve to spend their own money as they see fit, but AIBU to see myself as 'careful ' rather than 'cheap'. Some of what I do is-

. Dress dd2 in ds old trousers as boys clothes are tougher anyway and her dresses are worn again as tops with leggings.
.once a week I raid the fridge/ freezer and dinner is a mix of this ( I hate waste)
. I sew and darn clothes and can replace a zip
. I have made sardine heads into a pizza topping before
.i have invited family to dinner and kept their left over bones to make stock
. Do not eat out because it's not affordable and I would be shocked by the prices anyway.
I make my own laundry liquid/powder
.i make cake out of banana skins and also out of whole oranges and lemons including pips
.instead of paying huge fees for holiday activities I take the kids to chase the pigeons and feed them sausage roll crumbs outside our local Greggs 😳 or just to play at the park
Our local children's centre does nice low cost/ free activities also.
.i have bought cheap products from Asda and placed it into an empty box of 'posh' product.
. I regift unwanted presents for birthdays or Xmas
.i make vinegar from 🍏 cores
.i once made a homemade suncream when I could not afford a bottle of the real stuff
. I love charity shops and bought dds birthday gift there for under £10. Plus we have taken the kids there to spend their pocket money on toys and books.
.if something is over £5 I will struggle to buy it on principle
.. I grate used bars of soap to make new full bars
. I love summer, i don't have to use the heating 😁
. I buy clothes for ages older than the dcs are so they grow into them and I feel I'm getting my money's worth.
. I got rid of my tv licence and now just use Netflix and YouTube.

See, it's nothing extreme, just trying to save money as we go along. I'm sorry this post is so long , it's just hard to stop once started.

.

What's he point of reusing bones to make stock? Why to make it at all? I don't know, maybe stock with someone's saliva on it is very tasty and nutritious.

The banana skins are alright to eat as they have lots of nutrients but pay attention for the pesticides.

@goawaywillya

"My word you'd all be horrified if I told you what i have put in my chocolate brownies"

Your own breast milk...I'm assuming...

Massive lack of humour in this thread

Lol y'all would be horrified that I make my own
*spice mixes
*powdered stock for soup

• shampoo *natural remedies for coughs, hiccups, high temps and constipation, eczema, cuts and to stop nose bleeds etc *homemade bubble bath

AIBU seems to be ' keyboard warrior' grown up school
Bullies

If grating soap isn't the definition of cheap I don't know what is?! Isn't it like 50p for a bar of soap?! It sounds like you are in prison..... scrunching up Quavers to make add flavourings to your pot noodle !

What's he point of reusing bones to make stock? Why to make it at all?

Well if you don’t know the answer to this I’m not sure what the point of engaging with you is.

Boiling up bones for stock will result in a far superior product than using a stock cube.

Vinegar is about 29p for a huge bottle of basic stuff. Make your own if it pleases you but why you’d bother is beyond me!

There is a middle way, OP.

Being frugal is all very well but if your kids have never been to local attractions or to soft play, never had the opportunity for after school activities, that’s sad for them. Much as they will have fun feeding pigeons and going to the park. I also imagine they’re quite young. As they get older, they become more expensive.

If you can afford to give your dc’s more experiences and you’re choosing not to because you think it’s virtuous not to waste money, that’s unfair.

@imonlyatoyspider

I'm not horrified but is it actually cheaper? If it's a hobby, then why not? But you can buy shampoo/bubble bath for less than a pound. Spice mixes can't be much cheaper than buying as surely you need to buy the spices in the first place?

LaurieMarlow, I know people buy bones to make stock but I've never heard of people reusing spat out bones for it.

I have lived in hot climates and preserved my own eggs, olives and fish 🙀🙀🙀🙀

I have also preserved whole watermelons in barrels 🙀😬🙀😬🙀
I have eaten fermented butter 😃😬

I have made my own essential oils and perfumes 😬😬😬.

Poor AIBU mummies will probably be having palpitations at this

@formerbabe no it's just fun and interesting.

I have cooked down chicken stock into a powder for future use

Imonlyatoyspider, I’m impressed you preserved your own eggs

Sardine heads whuuuuut

I know people buy bones to make stock but I've never heard of people reusing spat out bones for it.

Well firstly I don’t know anyone who spits out their food. How uncivilised.

But for normally consumed bones left on a plate, with trace amounts of spit, kept at a rolling point for hours, what’s inherently wrong with that?

Apart from culturally learnt ‘ew’ factor that I think we should be getting over if we’re serious about reducing food waste.

Imo there is a big difference between being dirt cheap, imposing it on you dc and making food from base, eg spice mixes, stock (without saliva).

This has been such an entertaining thread, now people are starting to take personal offense, please don't 😁.

It’s given me some good ideas.

I make a number of things from scratch - spices, stock etc. But that's because it's healthy and not full of preservatives and crap.
I don't eat sardine head pizza, or refuse my children activities and make them chase pigeons. There are experiences in life that are great for children and their development, and of course their enjoyment. People don't take their kids on holidays or to activities because they're wasteful, they do it so their children have some enjoyment in life. Otherwise what's the point?

I used old banana skins to make plant food for my roses..I wouldn’t want to eat them in cake.
Bones for stock I will do but not off peoples plates that is just cringe worthy.
I can mend and change zips, turn a cuff or hem but rarely find the need to these days.
Suncream can be bought for a pound in Poundland so why would you risk skin cancer making your own? And if you can’t afford a pound just cover up with long sleeves.
Nothing wrong with shopping in charity shops as long as what you buy is still useable. I would think half the population shop in them at some time or other so that doesn’t make you special.
I grew up poor, long before the days of tax credits, free hours of childcare and food banks. Saving the ends of soap to make new bars was pretty common. We had hand me down clothes and clothes that didn’t fit. We ate weird combinations to use up any left overs, mash frenzy my mum a single parent didn’t have a meal but ate our left overs or if there was none she had a slice of bread and marg.

Now I hate waste and like a bargain but that is not cheap I just like value for my money. So I am happy to buy and freeze yellow label stuff bought at the end of the day in the supermarket, I rarely buy premium brands when own brand is fine but I would never swap the box as I just can’t see the point of that.

I actually don't think using whole oranges is off provided you clean the skin. I did it in a recipe for Moroccan almond cake and it was gorgeous. The pups and skin completely melt away.

Sardine heads really depends if they are tinned or fresh. Fresh - which is what I assumed is not an appetising thought.

For me it all sounds a bit extreme like the thriftiness has taken over as a way of life and that it would get in the way if some fun and spontaneous things in life - like occasionally stopping for cake and tea in an old fashioned tea shop or trying food at a street market, or an ice cream sundae. Just saying there are a few simple pleasures in life hanging out your kids or having a treat that could be missed out on.

There's cheap and then there's you OP but you're missing out.

I disapprove of children chasing animals but you've missed a trick - you could set up races - your DC versus the pigeons outside Greggs - first to the line gets to eat the sausage roll crumbs. You would save money because your DC wouldn't need dinner and they would get so fit you could cancel the electricity - get a generator and get them to take turns cycling to create the electricity.

Re the soup made from bones - I can't help visualising you scraping pre-gnawed chicken bones and other left over, half eaten remnants off your Family's plates, into a big stew pot ready to make soup [boak]

Seriously, it's up to you what you do but it's a bit weird telling someone you've just met all of your (mostly bonkers) money saving activities. It's TMI.

Well, I don't make bone broth as it's unhealthy.

Boulezvous Sat 18-May-19 13:22:55
The pups and skin completely melt away.

A bit cruel on the pups

Well, I don't make bone broth as it's unhealthy

Is it? Why?