There must be something I’m missing about life. I see all these happy people and all I do is feel unhappy and cry.
I’m not getting anything right. DH is our tonight both DC cried when they realised that he wouldn’t be back for bedtime and both said they didn’t want me, they wanted daddy.
We went out for a nice child-free lunch last weekend and I tried so hard to be smiley but then got myself into a bit of a food coma and got told I’d ruined it because I was trying hard enough.
I got told at work that certain things aren’t good enough even though I work stupid hours to try and keep up to date.
There’s not one part of my life that I’m worth anything in.
At least if I wasn’t here the mortgage would get paid because I’ve got life insurance.
I used to make such an effort with clothes and hair and make up. Now I just look like a grump because what’s the point when I’m overweight and look crap anyway.
I don’t want to be this sad anymore. I want to be happy and care about things and fix things but it all seems insurmountable.
I don’t even know what I’m expecting anyone say. I just thought it might feel better if I wrote it down but it turns out it just makes me cry again 🙁