AIBU to think I must be missing something?

[LoopyLou1981]

There must be something I’m missing about life. I see all these happy people and all I do is feel unhappy and cry.
I’m not getting anything right. DH is our tonight both DC cried when they realised that he wouldn’t be back for bedtime and both said they didn’t want me, they wanted daddy.
We went out for a nice child-free lunch last weekend and I tried so hard to be smiley but then got myself into a bit of a food coma and got told I’d ruined it because I was trying hard enough.
I got told at work that certain things aren’t good enough even though I work stupid hours to try and keep up to date.
There’s not one part of my life that I’m worth anything in.
At least if I wasn’t here the mortgage would get paid because I’ve got life insurance.
I used to make such an effort with clothes and hair and make up. Now I just look like a grump because what’s the point when I’m overweight and look crap anyway.
I don’t want to be this sad anymore. I want to be happy and care about things and fix things but it all seems insurmountable.
I don’t even know what I’m expecting anyone say. I just thought it might feel better if I wrote it down but it turns out it just makes me cry again 🙁

Didn't want to read and run
Are you maybe depressed? Could you open up to partner or GP for some help?

Get yourself to a GP. If feeling this way is starting to affect your life as a whole you need help.

Sorry OP that sounds like a lot to manage.
Do you do anything for yourself each week/month? Exercise? Have any close friends or family you can talk to?

He thinks I’m being over dramatic. Which, to be fair, reading that back I probably am. It just doesn’t feel like that at the moment.

I’m really trying to avoid the GP. I seem to spend so much time there with the kids I feel stupid taking up their time with me as well.

I wanted to join the gym so I could go in my lunch break and worked out that, if I took lunch in every day instead of being something up there I could manage the membership.
Tried to do the lunch thing for week to prove to myself I could do it. Managed 3 days then it all got on top of me as an extra thing to do in the evening and gave up. I can’t even get a bloody packed lunch right 😕

Oh love. It’s so hard sometimes. Sending lots of hugs and . No real advice except solidarity & empathy. We’ve all been there.

Huge sympathy hugs from me. I’d suggest trying CBT. It really made a difference to me

You're not wasting time by seeing the GP. It sounds like you need some help, and that's OK. My DH took a long whole seeing his GP about anxiety and depression, and it had made a massive difference. I would really encourage you to go and talk about how you're feeling.

Hope things get better for you soon.

And yes yes to seeing the GP. You’ve posted on here, that’s a huge step forward! Half the battle is done! Now make a GP appointment.

Who said you spolit the meal?
Who said you're overweight and look crap?

Is your DH saying all this? If so then he's the problem...

He wasn’t happy that I got tired half way through a fairly expensive meal (I did perk up after about half an hour!).

I think I’m overweight and look crap. He always says I look nice (I think he’s trying to up my mood).

He’s really not the problem in all this x

Going to counselling was the best thing I ever did. It resulted in me leaving my husband, starting my life again and then meeting my now husband. It was tough at times but I found myself, chose what I really wanted and created a life for me and my kids, which then included my now husband.

Make time to find yourself

You are being too hard on yourself
You have 2 young children and you work outside of the home and you have friends you keep in touch with. There are only so many hours in the day and things will not be perfect for every one of those hours.

Go easier on yourself. Good enough will do for most situations .
And yes - go and see your GP. You need to be the fittest person in the house at the moment as you take care of everyone else.

It isnt being silly or taking up valuable time making sure you are okay.It is essential.

Hello there OP, we're so sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Oh crikey! I’m sorry. I hadn’t seen this reply. Have I said something I shouldn’t have? I honestly wasn’t looking for anything from anyone especially nothing financial! I just thought if I wrote everything down it might make it feel less overwhelming.
Thank you everyone else for the nice replies. I’ll take it onboard and see if I can chat to my gp x

Try taking small steps to improve things,

Go and get a new hair cut, highlights - it can boost you.

Start a diet to loose weight.

Your husband says you look okay - that’s a positive. You can’t look that bad.

Daddies are always the good guys. Don’t fret about this.

You are worth more than you think.

OP, I think that was a C&P from Admin and the last bit wasn’t meant for you.

I think you sound very defeated but actually your problems are normal and everyone has experienced things like these.

It does sound like you have an issue with your weight. You know it’s 80% food and 20% exercise, so if you want to lose weight, look at your diet. Do you enjoy cooking?

You sound very low, you poor thing. Have you felt like this for a while or has it been creeping up on you?