Sex - love it but can't be bothered

[babasaclover]

So when I have sex with husband he turns me on so much and literally always have good sex. I think his willy is made for me.

However life gets in the way, we both work full time have a toddler and so getting in the mood isn't easy.

AIBU to take viagra as the woman? Or is there some kind of alternative. I want to try it but don't want to buy online. Also google tells me that it doesn't make you want sex more, only enjoy it more. so for instance I'm sitting of sofa of a night in my comfy clothes (as is he). How do I get some energy up to go upstairs and do the deed?

I don't think his willy was made for you. I think it was made for him, so he could like pee and reproduce.

It's funny you say that as he had such a low sperm count we needed ivf. I like to think his willy is super talented in other ways than the norm it was naturally intended for 🤣

Who calls a penis a “willy”?

Do you feel like this about other things that you enjoy? Do you struggle for motivation generally in life? Could just be tiredness, but could also be a symptom of depression. I definitely don't think viagra would help you at all.

Have you tried working up to it slowly - intimacy, cuddles, kisses, touching/stroking each other, so you have time to get into the right mindset for sex? I think for women especially, it's rare to be able to just flick a switch in your mind and go from "PJs on sofa" to "raring to go" without a bit of effort.

I bet you're one of those posters that froth at the mouth when someone says "vagina" rather than "vulva".

Haha me and my husband are like that in regards I think his bits were made for me.
Running joke is I married him for his dick ha.
We don't sleep I pj's and tend to strip off on sofa once kids asleep with a blanket incase one does wander down.
That definitely stops any sex life going stale ;)

Bridge i do struggle a bit with other things yes - even when I know them to be enjoyable, I've been tested for low iron and have had depression in the past, but ok at the moment.

I also want to go to the gym and love it when I'm there but just think life is a bit draining and it's easier to sit on the sofa. Hopefully summer will help?

There’s a natural supplement called horny goatweed you can take to increase libido.

Goodwinter I know once we start I'll love it and I always do. Would I be wrong to schedule it in like everything else in life? Husband would love it if I said right Tuesday and Thursday sex night 🤣. I think it could focus the mind to know it's coming, that way I wouldn't eat too much and feel full up or get into the lazy sofa mindset? I am realistic enough to know that parents don't have the most wild sex life but once we get going we are adventurous

Scheduling can be good, anticipation is a wonderful thing

Islands81 thank you will give this a go! Have you tried it?

You could try and book a night away.
Dress up, sit in the bar and let your man come and chat you up, as if he's a complete stranger...

Far2go that's what I was thinking, like something lovely to look forward to at the end of the day. Take my mind off the boring conf calls at work

Scheduling is no bad thing! Sounds unromantic but spontaneity is hard when you have a busy life.

Why not try a ‘date night’ once and a while, could either of your parents take the kids overnight? Or as some friends I know used to do: book a date and a cheap travelodge room, eat drink, get dirty. Then go home!

How about reading or watching something to get you 'in the mood'??!!

I could've written this myself!! Even the willy bit! (My husband's though, not yours haha). I'm even contemplating going to doctors because I feel dead inside about sex but know I'll love it once we get going. I'm EBF a 7 month old and I'm taking the mini pill so I'm wondering if that is having an effect! I really don't want to lose our intimacy but between my lack of interest and the stress of life getting in the way is tough!!

Sorry I realise I've just rambled and not actually offered advice. I guess I'm saying you're not alone!

I feel like this too, two kids don’t help and sex is amazing when we have it. Think I just have a low sex drive. The more we have the more I want it though so maybe it’s self perpetuating at the moment.

Morning sex

@Iamnotagoddess I do believe that willy is a fairly common name for a penis ☺️

Yes but generally @Justkeeprollingalong, after the age of 18 you tend to just call it a cock like the rest of the world 🤷

*Who calls a penis a "willy"?
*
Me.

My DH calls it a doogal (but we're Scottish) 😆