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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think a mum at school shouldn't tell another little child in yr3

34 replies

wishywotz · 19/07/2007 16:06

"If you talk to my @@ anymore I will come and get you !

upsetting yr3 child so much, that Head has to call horrid woman in to have a word.

Happend to one of my dds classmates, who is a very nice child.

Don't know cicumstances, but I think whatever they are, they are quite unreasonable behaviour for an adult to say to an 8 yr old.

OP posts:
SpiderBaby · 19/07/2007 16:08

god there are some agressive women around

what did the childs mother say?

lou33 · 19/07/2007 16:09

blimey, if someone said that to my 8 yr old i'd be tenpted to say if she spoke to my child like that again i would be coming to get her!

Original poster
wishywotz · 19/07/2007 16:12

Mother who is also nice is so cross and mortified that this woman has said something.

Hasn't spoken to the other mother about it. Avoiding her 'casue she is cross.

OP posts:
SpiderBaby · 19/07/2007 16:14

is the other mother a general pain in the arse?

Original poster
wishywotz · 19/07/2007 16:15

little child is so scared now when she sees this horrid woman in the playground waiting to collect her children. Mum says she doesn't know what to do.

Has knocked girls confidence and she doesn't want to go to school. Luckily summer break.

OP posts:
Original poster
wishywotz · 19/07/2007 16:17

Horrid mum's little child came in this year to the class. I have had her child to play, she is OK. Didn't say much to the mum TBH. Now I want to give her a good slap.

OP posts:
HedTwigg · 19/07/2007 16:17

its patently totally out of order

my sister did something similar though to a child she knew well who was constantly tormenting her DS and basically making his life miserable with verbal, sneaky taunts .. she went into the playground and hissed "If you ever dare be mean to xxx again you will have me to deal with"

funnily enough the bullying stopped

I don't condone what she did, but I do know she was at the end of her tether

I'm sure this situation is totally different

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 19/07/2007 16:18

Wishwotz... I'm with you in saying that the behaviour of this woman was totally unreasonable but... please also do check what the child did do to attract such inacceptable behaviour. Unfortunately, a small number of parents are at their wits end with bullying, please check she is not one of them.

Obviously, she should be talked into reason, but if said child is making another child very upset, it is important that that situation is also solved too.

There was a thread about something like this a year ago, we all simpathised with the mum just to realise later the woman had a gang of violent bullying offspring who had even got as far as punching other children and breaking the other child's teeth. Obviously I'm not saying this is the case here, but please double check there is not an underlying issue at the bottom of this situation.

HedTwigg · 19/07/2007 16:18

I would really like to know what the little girl did to be honest or what 'horrid mother' thinks she did

VoluptuaGoodshag · 19/07/2007 16:18

Why did she not want her to talk to her???? Is she horrid at other times? Is her child horrid?

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 19/07/2007 16:19

I may have crossposted, there was no single post other than the OP when I started writing mine. Apologies if so!

Original poster
wishywotz · 19/07/2007 16:21

Well the child she had a word with is not a bully I have know her for 4 years and she is very nice.

And is very caring and always looks out for the other children.

I think this other child has been telling stories. Shall be more cautious of her in furture.

OP posts:
HedTwigg · 19/07/2007 16:46

unfortunately it is difficult to know for a 'fact' what a child is really like with his / her peers

It sounds like the school is dealing with it though, I'd try to avoid getting involved if it were me .. you may never get to the heart of the matter

MadEyeMisdee · 19/07/2007 16:53

some kids are totally different in school. sounds li8ke 'horrid mum' was at end of tether if you ask me with bullying.

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 19/07/2007 17:03

Agree about children being different. DS's lovely best friend is rarely being invited to parties... we have been told on ocassion by other parents at said parties that he bullies their child. So who knows?

DangerousBeans · 19/07/2007 17:07

I have had stern words with a 9yo boy in the past, when school failed miserably in dealing with the fact that he was making life totally miserable for my 6yo child.

It was not ideal - but I was not prepared for it to continue, and we had tried to official route via school, and nothing had changed.

andiem · 19/07/2007 17:50

I have spoken to a child in my ds class who bullied him mercilessly for 2 terms. When he punched my ds in the stomach in front of me I went up and asked him not to do it again or there would be trouble sometimes you have to intervene the school and mother were doing nothing

2spells · 19/07/2007 18:07

what ever the argument between the 2 girls. no excuse for a grown up to threaten a child like that. what a bully.

Original poster
wishywotz · 19/07/2007 21:22

Totally with you there, 2spells

I suppose those that have stern words with other peoples children would expect if the same was done back to theirs to be be acceptable.

OP posts:
Bubble99 · 19/07/2007 21:30

Hmmm. While I don't agree with the words 'get you,' I'd need to kmow the details of what went on between these two children.....

I agree with other posters who have said that while a child may be 'lovely' to adult eyes, they can often be the opposite to their peers.

handlemecarefully · 19/07/2007 21:30

It sounds like an awful thing to do...but there must be more to it?

Bubble99 · 19/07/2007 21:32

A lot of 'lovely' children also identify the child with a short fuse and target them as they know that the short-fused child will usually get the blame.

SueW · 19/07/2007 21:34

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

2spells · 19/07/2007 21:34

surely better to get the school to deal with any problems or talk to the parents.
When ds was picked on by a yr6 when he was in yr 1 I approached the mum. i knew ds was inocent but we stopped it. wouldn't have had a go at the child.

Original poster
wishywotz · 19/07/2007 21:57

Bullying is not on, and especailly not on for a parent to bully a child saying "I'll get you".

I am surprised that some of you think it is OK for an an adult to threaten a child of 8.

I wonder where they learn from

OP posts: