Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think parents shouldn’t be doing kids’ homework?

54 replies

PuzzledObserver · 17/05/2019 20:49

This was mentioned on a thread about wifework - doing kids’ homework.

Surely kids should do their own homework? It’s set to reinforce their recent learning and give them practice using the new techniques they’ve learned. If the parents do it for them, they don’t learn as well.

Or AIBU?

For context - I have no DC, so maybe I just don’t understand. My parents never did my homework.

OP posts:
Mac47 · 17/05/2019 20:51

Well of course they should. And we do know when parents have done it, we (teachers) aren't that daft. Although most of us set homework because we have to, so don't feel the need to address it, though may do an internal eye roll...

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 17/05/2019 20:53

I would interpret that as helping with homework, eg testing them on spellings, listening to them read etc

getback · 17/05/2019 20:54

Kids shouldn't get homework. It's unnecessary and doesn't improve outcomes in the slightest. At secondary age it's necessary but o don't think that's what's being referred to in this thread.

Dogparty · 17/05/2019 20:55

I completely agree, it really misses the point if the parents are completing it! The child should be reinforcing what they’ve learned. It’s extra practice.

DownStreet · 17/05/2019 20:57

I assume they mean all the checking the homework diary, making sure they do the homework, testing them on spellings, reading with them and generally overseeing homework rather than actually doing it.

However, I do remember kids in my school who blatantly had their parents do their homework.

Hatemadeupwords · 17/05/2019 20:57

Agree its more helping than doing. Although I admit I do the colouring in for them (not when they are tiny but what use is it for a ks3 kid to colour in titles or pictures?)
I listen to their spellings and check their tables. Sometimes it's just having someone to sit down with I might do some paperwork alongside them. Also helping to show them different ways to revise.

hidinginthenightgarden · 17/05/2019 20:58

I'm pretty sure they mean supervising!
I would say "DS we need to do your homework". What I mean is "Ds come and do your homework whilst I watch over you and make sure you do it properly". He is 6 so needs me to clarify the instructions sometimes.

Futureisland · 17/05/2019 20:58

I don't do my son's homework but I do need to help him A LOT. He just gets way too much and in my eyes sometimes this stuff is beyond what he is capable for. This has been raised with the school but they are happy for parents to help....in fact this is what they want. They want parents engaging with the child's learning. We used to get my older son to do it all my himself and leave any mistakes so the teacher could see how we was coping. The school has now told us they don't want parents leaving mistakes uncorrected and instead to help the child and show them / help them correct any mistakes. Sometimes this approch makes me feel like I am practically doing the homework for him (apart from the physical writing).

C0untDucku1a · 17/05/2019 21:00

As a secondary school teacher, i completely disagree with primary homework beyond reading for fun and learning spellings and times tables. It is utterly pointless and creates so much stress. Why put children off learning?

Whynotnowbaby · 17/05/2019 21:01

Ks1 age dd would not manage a lot of her homework without me to explain it, remind her what to do etc. I don’t do it for her and allow her to get it wrong if that’s what her answer is but a lot of homework requires explanation. Plus spellings need testing and reading book needs to be listened to.

AChickenCalledKorma · 17/05/2019 21:01

Sometimes homework is set which cannot possibly be done unaided by the child in question. Complex three dimensional models for 5-7 year olds spring to mind.

Although my proudest moment was possibly when DD1 aged 4 won the "mathematical hat" competition, wearing a really dodgy looking hat that she had made entirely unaided. I respect that head teacher for ignoring the works of (parental) art that were paraded before her.

Taswama · 17/05/2019 21:03

I’ve heard of these mythical children who just come in from school, sit down and get on with their homework but I’ve yet to meet any.
At primary, children generally need a lot of support, especially when it’s craft projects (aargh!). At secondary, at least some prompting/ reminding but also help explaining stuff or asking questions to get them to think it through themselves.

my2bundles · 17/05/2019 21:03

My son since year 2 has been given homework with hadn't yet been covered in class. So no its not all reinforcing what they have learnt in class and they do need alot of input. In high school it needs over seeing as in parents need to check it's done, sign the planner for every piece because the kids get decredits which lead to detentions if we don't. I wish we could leave them to it but it's not that simple these days.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 17/05/2019 21:08

Depends on the homework.

Some involve cooking,making random not particularly straightforward stuff like volcanoes, stone age huts, viking boats,solar systems etc. Some involve going to the shops or other places,taking pictures ,printing them out and sticking them in.

At 5 DD got a homework piece asking her to research a farm animal and record facts (she still gets a lot of fact things). That meant she needed some supervision to either go to the library or on the Internet and pick the relevant information.

Sometimes there can be things that haven't been covered in class yet.

Listening to her reading, practice spellings.

If it's a maths worksheet then it's happy days as that can be obviously done independently.

ManchesterBorn · 17/05/2019 21:13

Depends what you mean by "doing the kids homework".

Doing it for them, no, it's pathetic.
Sitting down next to them and doing your own work to make it clear it's part of the daily routine is another thing entirely. When they are little, doing homework means reading to you - and you are supposed to ask questions - showing you what they done, explaining things and so on.

I do cringe when teachers who give a price or fist place to a child project clearly made by an adult, but some do.

I don't see how a parent can not be involved in homework one way or another, if only to remind them to do them!

Original poster
PuzzledObserver · 17/05/2019 21:17

Ah, I see part of my problem with understanding here. Homework used to be one of the exciting things that marked the transition from primary to secondary school - along with getting to wear a uniform.

I can see that primary children would need encouraging, cajoling, supporting etc.

OP posts:
Iwantacookie · 17/05/2019 21:24

I don't do it for them but if they need to make something I'll suggest materials/colours hold things while dc glue them in place.
I'll also listen to them read, practise spellings/times tables etc.
Sometimes I feel like I should be doing more but I'm so crap at craft projects the only way I could get the dcs to look worse than mine would be is to run it over Blush

trilbydoll · 17/05/2019 21:27

DD is 6 and gets occasional projects. I tried leaving it entirely to her and realised she didn't know where to start. So now I point her in the right direction and do all the planning writing so that she has the energy left to write the final piece!

Pipandmum · 17/05/2019 21:30

My friend’s son got a prize for an essay she wrote! And she was not shy about saying so and even seemed proud! its ridiculous I have seen work that was so obviously done in the main by parents. I always hope teachers can tell but sometimes they get prizes. Doesn’t do the kid any favours.

Angrybird123 · 17/05/2019 21:36

I resist the urge to help DS too much. I want his teacher to know he hasn't understood a concept. I'm a secondary teacher and do feel that primary homework other than reading or maybe research isn't helpful, especially if your child finds work difficult. It becomes a fraught, emotional battlefield that neither or us need at the end of a long day. I always thought I'd be really 'on it' overseeing everything, zealously checking the diary etc but I find that I increasingly want the technicalities of maths and science dealt with by those who can explain it properly and let DS and I enjoy our fairly minimal downtime. DD is a different story.. A high flier, she genuinely enjoys it and happily settles down to do it so I leave her to it mostly to. It pisses me off when craft projects have blatantly been made by a parent and everyone coos over how good it is even though we all know who's done it 🙄

Futureisland · 17/05/2019 22:21

Like I say, my kids school wants parents to help the kids. It's all about parental engagement with the learning.

The teacher already sees in class who understands what through the work done in school. Homework gives the child a chance to work one on one with a parent and enhances their learning that way.

Saying that. I'm not a fan of it at all. Kids should be playing after school and burning energy not doing extra work. I'd rather engage through a conversation about what they are learning rather than sitting at a table with a kid who would rather be outside.

likeafishneedsabike · 17/05/2019 22:38

DC get largely project based hwk so a lot of it is printing out pictures and going to Hobbycraft.

azulmariposa · 17/05/2019 22:51

Dd is 8, luckily her teacher this year sets homework that is mostly stuff that takes ten minutes and is stuff she can do herself. Previous teacher would set wildly complicated tasks that I would often do and get her to copy out to avoid the arguing and crying.
At primary age it's a waste of time and just makes them hate working.

NCforthis2019 · 17/05/2019 22:59

my 4 year old gets homework - i help her.

NCforthis2019 · 17/05/2019 23:00

i dont do it for her btw - just help her along.