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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DH to show more interest in food?

49 replies

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 17/05/2019 09:24

I sometimes ask DH what he fancies for dinner - maybe something different or an old favourite - but he never shows any enthusiasm, just saying 'whatever you like' or 'I don't mind'. I usually give him a choice anyway as we don't share the same food likes/dislikes so tend to eat different things, but if I make the effort to want to get him something special, I would like him to actually say what he would like! Maybe I am expecting too much?

OP posts:
TooStressyTooMessy · 17/05/2019 09:27

I’m like your DH. I try to show an interest as I know it’s annoying to do all the thinking of what to make so I do suggest meals etc (and also take my turn to prepare them). Really though, I just don’t care. It’s just fuel. Some foods are nicer than others but I don’t have an emotional relationship with food, much as I try to.

jcq17 · 17/05/2019 09:39

My husband is the same, it's the way he is he will never have an opinion!

Pipandmum · 17/05/2019 09:39

Some people are just like that. As long as he doesn’t say after he would have preferred something else just make what you like.

cantwait2bfree · 17/05/2019 09:40

Am the same . Some people start thinking about what they’re having for tea in morning!! Am just not like that

KnittingForMittens · 17/05/2019 09:40

My husband is exactly the same. I like to create a meal plan so that I know what to buy when I go shopping (we are living on a budget). But all he says is "I eat whatever you are making"... which is hard because I like to get some ideas/inspiration!

adaline · 17/05/2019 09:41

Maybe he's genuinely not bothered?

I don't decide what I'm having for dinner until I get home and start cooking it. I like my food but if someone's cooking for me they can do what they like!

redwoodmazza · 17/05/2019 09:42

If he's that easy going, just don't ask him any more. He's obviously happy with anything you make for him.

WorraLiberty · 17/05/2019 09:43

I'm much the same when DH is cooking.

If he's going to the trouble of shopping and cooking a meal, I generally leave it up to him.

RosaWaiting · 17/05/2019 09:45

I'm genuinely not bothered

the fact that food is the subject of so much study and TV shows etc is a completely mystery to me.

if there are specific things he doesn't want, he should say so though.

stucknoue · 17/05/2019 09:47

Join the club, if I ask all he says is pasta, or whatever you want. He does eat everything pretty much though

RavenLG · 17/05/2019 09:57

DP same here too. I got sick of asking and just meal plan now. He would eat whatever I put in front of him so I know he's not bothered at all. I try and do cous cous at least once a week as I know he really likes it but other than that I just do what I fancy. I can tell he likes something buy the enthusiastic noises he makes lol. I enjoy meal planning and prepping so I guess it works for us.

DDad is like this too but worse. When younger I would always get annoyed with him because my DMum would ask, he would say whatever I'm not fussed, then when she suggested something he would roll his eyes and make a sarcastic comment. I wanted to scream "Get off your fat arse and cook for Mum once in your life then you ungrateful bastard" .. if I EVER catch my DP rolling his eyes or being shitty about me cooking for him he'll get a frying pan upside the head (no really but he won't be getting fed ever again lol)

formerbabe · 17/05/2019 09:59

Mine is the same. Zero interest in the shopping/cooking. I don't mind though...I'm quite territorial over the kitchen

Beldon · 17/05/2019 20:14

I’m probably like your husband. I have things I definitely don’t like which my partner knows about, apart from that I normally just don’t care. It’s just eating because I’m hungry. If I’m out I enjoy picking something from menu, at home I wouldn’t care if I was never asked what I wanted

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 17/05/2019 20:25

DH is like this, he says he can't cook and I'm happy to feed him so he'll eat anything. If I really want a suggestion I'll say ok I'll cook mushroom couscous (he hates mushrooms and would happily live without couscous), and I usually get an answer then, but it's often pizza

Lllot5 · 17/05/2019 20:29

The worst thing about cooking is trying to decide what to cook in my opinion.
Sometimes you have to think about it in the morning in case you have to get something out the freezer, or buy something on the home.

WeeWeed · 17/05/2019 20:31

Mine is the same. If I push he will start to list things that he thinks I'll like because he really doesn't care. He does 70% of the cooking so I can't really complain.

DrWhy · 17/05/2019 20:33

My DH is genuinely not bothered but neither am I, unfortunately someone has to be bothered or no one gets fed. I’m thoroughly fed up of always having to decide what we are eating, trying to make it something everyone likes and that it’s fairly balanced over the week. Just occasionally I’d really like him to suggest something other than ‘I don’t mind’!

Fiveredbricks · 17/05/2019 20:34

Try this one OP.

"What are you going to cook for dinner tonight?"

He'll have to make a decision then.

Fiveredbricks · 17/05/2019 20:35

@ZippyBungleandGeorge your husband is being a lazy arse, frankly. "Cant cook" = "Can't be arsed to"

TheBabyAteMyBrain · 17/05/2019 20:36

I meal plan every week and every time I ask for any input he just sighs and moans. So I stopped asking and try to do a mixture of what everyone likes. The only rule is no moaning if you don't contribute.

AfterSchoolWorry · 17/05/2019 20:37

Yabu.

Talking about food really irritates and bores me. It's bad enough having to cook and shop. I love eating but I don't want to talk about it.

I just want to get it over with as quickly as possible.

Sometimes DH wants to discuss dinner just after lunch, it makes me want to tear my face off.

speakout · 17/05/2019 20:38

Do you have kids OP?

Why not cook for yourself and he can sort out his own food.

If you have different tastes then it makes no sense for you to cook for him.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 17/05/2019 20:39

@Fiveredbricks it's me who says he can't cook, he just didn't enjoy it, he'd be happy to eat the food he cooks, I wouldn't! It's ok he does other things I don't want to, like hoovering, cleaning the toilet, cat litter penis doesn't equal privilege in this house

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 17/05/2019 20:40

Clearly there should be a comma between cat litter and penis....

speakout · 17/05/2019 21:22

This thead confuses me.

Are there any children involved in these homes?

Because feeding children takes things to a whole new level. Pandering to another adult in the house takes a back seat.