Daughter wants to join holiday halfway through

[Motherofamadhouse]

For background DD is a dancer about to graduate, all her yearnates are getting showreels done.
My other DD is 17 and the holiday is to celebrate them turning 18 and 21 in June.

We’ve booked a family holiday (eastern med cruise) for July 27th to the 3rd of August, DD20 has just found out her college will be doing showreels on the 30th of July and is now insisting that she isn’t coming on holiday and will fly herself out and meet us at a port on the 31st. AIBU to tell her she’s being stupid and can’t ruin the holiday like that? What can I do

I think the OP has the measure of the responses now

It's hard OP when they're growing up. Hard to step back and let them be and grow and develop and go and do Life! without you. It does get easier, or less difficult as you all figure out your place in relation to each other.

Sounds fine IF the cruise company will allow her to check in at another port.

This is a key point. Even if she's been booked onto the cruise, she can't just show up mid-way through and board. It would need to be pre-arranged with the cruise line and depending on the regulations of destinations involved, it may or may not be allowed.

I think her showreel will be really important to get done. Sorry OP, I can see it's disappointing but she will need it for her career. It will also be easier to get done immediately after she finishes with everyone else.

I left a cruise part way through, it wont be hard to arrange to get her to join part way, just need to get it sorted in advance

Not much she can do about it surely? Can you take her on one later to celebrate. Seems a shame to only have 3 days, but on the other hand it’s better than nothing

Surely her education and job search is more important. You should have booked the holiday around her commitments, not expect her to skip important school events.

Enjoy the 1 to 1 time with the18 year old . When the older one joins you there will be plenty of time for you all to celebrate.

Yabu btw.

Sorry. I would want my child to take advantage of every opportunity to further their career over a holiday. What your DD has proposed makes perfect sense. I’m saying this from point of view of a parent of a hopeful actress and unrest’s death the importance of the showreels - and how much they cost to do on your own.

YABU

Another point - if it turns out the cruise line will allow her to join at certain ports, do check what kind of record the place has for cancelled visits

Ships often have to miss port calls because of high winds or especially rough seas, and some are more challenging than others. You obviously wouldn't want DD to fly out, only to find the ship wasn't there for her to join ...

Can she even board the cruise from a port like that?

OP seriously! I have two left feet (would have more if that were a thing...) and I know how important this is.

It's not selfish to want a career!

YAB ridiculously U, I agree with everyone else. Your DD sounds utterly sensible.

Showreels are really important to performance based courses. Using the showreel is the way she shows her skills to prospective agents and employers.

It is a bit odd that you choose to book this holiday right through this important time of her career. Performing arts courses often have important dates for a week or two after graduation for showcases, showreels and performances etc, But she seems to have come up with a sensible solution