to murder disgusting smell-obsessed woman at work

[Snuffalo]

I swear she has some kind of fetish. In the morning she tells us about the 'whiffy' (seriously) people she encountered on the bus. When she comes back from the toilet she invariably says things like 'smells like someone crawled in the pipes and died'. Today I was just about to take my first bite of some boring sliced edam cheese (that smells of nothing) on a fucking Ryvita and she says 'ooh good, it's your lunch, I thought it might be your feet for a minute there! Cheesy feet haha!' and I was so annoyed and disgusted I got up and threw the whole lot in the trash.

I'm the manager of her manager and I'm seriously considering raising this as a performance issue...

Could you get her an orange studded with cloves on a stick. It used to work for the Elizabethans. Sorry if this has already been suggested, I skimmed.

I wouldn't like people commenting on the smell of something I was eating - unless it was along the lines of 'that smells delicious'. Referring to smelly feet would put me right off.

She has an immature sense of humour. Either tell her that you are not amused, or find somewhere else to eat. Or take a gas mask in for her.

Some people are gobshites. I.e. they inform everyone of every thought they have. Is there any chance you can ignore her? This British culture seems to consider an eye roll as a penultimate insult of the insults? Try it maybe? Good luck, I feel for you.
I used to work with people who were sensitive to noise, and who'd let me know that even when I already knew/did something to help. Work is a loony bin. People get mad there. Be strong.

Why are people on here claiming that doing something smelly is almost a right ?

It is selfish to eat smelly food at work. Dh has had to wade in with someone at work who was coming in in the morning and making herself scrambled eggs. You can imagine that smell permeating through the office. It was not her "right" to make half the office gag.

Throwing out your lunch was a bit harsh.
Just tell her to shut up and stop talking rubbish.

@Snuffalo
Did you bring a peg to work, or a smelly egg sandwich, any update on the super sniffer.