to murder disgusting smell-obsessed woman at work

[Snuffalo]

I swear she has some kind of fetish. In the morning she tells us about the 'whiffy' (seriously) people she encountered on the bus. When she comes back from the toilet she invariably says things like 'smells like someone crawled in the pipes and died'. Today I was just about to take my first bite of some boring sliced edam cheese (that smells of nothing) on a fucking Ryvita and she says 'ooh good, it's your lunch, I thought it might be your feet for a minute there! Cheesy feet haha!' and I was so annoyed and disgusted I got up and threw the whole lot in the trash.

I'm the manager of her manager and I'm seriously considering raising this as a performance issue...

The OP has said she herself has autism.

It is very common for people with autism to have trouble navigating social interactions like the one this woman presents.

I don't think it's fair or kind to mock the OP in these circumstances.

@TheFatberg @NunoGoncalves I will never be able to pronounce hyperbole correctly.

You threw your lunch away - this is toddler tantrum level behaviour and really inappropriate in the Work place, especially as you are a manager. It is also a failure to directly address and deal with the problem.

As you say you have already asked her not to talk about smells in the office just stop her every time she starts and remind her calmly, politely, firmly and consistently that you have asked her before not to talk about bad smells.

I'm really not sure why as the "manager of her manager" you are struggling to deal with this situation.

Bring a durian everyday until she quits on her own!

Tbh I hate people like her too, my ex boss gave me a complex about loud eating. I don't think I am that loud!

You clearly weren't joking about raising it as a performance issue.

I would just tell her every time that you don't want to hear about her bad smell obsession.

You clearly weren't joking about raising it as a performance issue.

I would just tell her every time that you don't want to hear about her bad smell obsession.

And I'm also someone who will be embarrassed coming out of a stinky loo and say similar because I want people to know for sure it's not me.

Quick advice here. In my experience, the polite thing to do is to just not refer to it.

Most people, toilet trolls aside, don't actually like to talk about, hear or see other people's loo functions in real life. They understand that it smells, sometimes more than others, and they don't enjoy talking about it.

By saying that you don't want to be embarrassed by the idea that you did make the smell and talking about it you are a) specifically embarrassing the person who did make the smell (when they didn't do anything abnormal), and b) bringing up something gross that might make people feel a bit disgusted.

It's really fine just to say nothing.

I can't see that this employee has done anything horrendous in the great scheme of things.

I think anyone may comment on someone's smelly lunch - for example it is very antisocial too bring egg sandwiches! And often loos do smell awful and you have to stagger out gagging after someone has been in there. You wouldn't announce it to the office, but might share a grimace with a fellow worker.

If a manager mentioned this to me in a performance review I would take issue with it.

I don’t know if she’s autistic but I don’t think so. I, however, am. Among my sensory issues is an aversion to sounds and words that I perceive as baby talk or vulgar in a base way - cutesy words for genitals or bodily functions make me feel physically uncomfortable.

Well, looking back at this comment from OP it sounds as if you're in a Top Trumps situation of she doesn't like smells and you don't like words about smells. People often use euphemisms. Are you going to castigate someone because they said there was a bad pong and not an olfactory infraction?!

I've previously worked with someone like that woman - constantly narrating what they can smell and commenting on what everyone else is eating I just tuned her out and sat with ear phones on after a while.

I so don't miss the bitchy part of working in an office 🙄

You lot have been pretty harsh on OP. She's just sounding off and of course the performance thing was a joke. She's a manager. She knows.

I'd get brassed off about a colleague denigrating smelly bus people, too. Sounds so snobbish and cunty.

Don't raise the performance issue it's way worse than that, if someone caused me to throw away cheese that would be an under the patio incident!

Just say "do you think it's appropriate to make derogatory comments about peoples lunch"?

I think you should contact Smellbow and offer her a job in your organization. Or how about yesterday's farty poster? Put them together in a small office, preferably unventilated, and then sit back and watch Ms Smell-Fetish sweat.

Or how about me? I have the right screen-name for it.

That'll learn her.

I’m basically a high performing ice queen at work. Like I said if you knew me (at least in passing) you’d hate me.

Is this also lighthearted hyperbole?

I’m a bit confused by this thread.

Your colleague sounds like hard work and actually whether you were being light hearted or not her behaviour is a performance issue.

None of us undertake our roles in isolation and if you cannot behave in a socially acceptable manner in an office environment then you need to be pulled up in it.

How on earth is it snobby to not like smelly people on the bus?! I didn't think BO was a class issue . Who actually likes sitting squeezed up against smelly people?! This thread is quite mad.

I'd get brassed off about a colleague denigrating smelly bus people, too. Sounds so snobbish and cunty
How strange.
Do you travel on public transport often, I do weekly.
There is nothing snobby about feeling ill sitting beside someone unwashed, as I said upthread, last night a guy was finger deep in his ear wax, removed finger, rolled wax between his fingers with pleasure, god knows where he wiped it.
There are plenty of pleasant smelling people on the bus too.
Do you think only poor people are smelly?

I don't think it's fair or kind to mock the OP in these circumstances.

The OP isn’t being particularly kind either

YANBU. People like this are beyond fucking annoying and I'd just call her in for a chat and tell her that she needs to keep her thoughts to herself.

I think part of being a grown-up is developing the ability to work with a wide range of irritating fuckwits without killing them or throwing your lunch in the bin, tbh.

I also think it's especially important for managers to have this ability to ensure that they treat staff fairly and don't inadvertently favour those who have quirks that wind them up.

Not a performance issue. The person needs to be told to be a bit more sensitive about what she says in relation to smells and how her remarks are upsetting/of putting for other workers.

Maybe she’s hinting not so subtly that people need to wash more often

Isn’t that better than her taking aside said people and giving them a talking to. I know a few managers who’ve had to give the motherly chat man to man ie. wash every day, wear clean undies and shirts daily, use deodorant and dry clean suits weekly. Have 2-3 suits. The number of people who were thankful as their noses didn’t work that well and admitted how they never listened to their mums and should have. Ladies cotton is our friend and synthetic undies and nylons our worst enemies...nuff said