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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have mistook little boy for girl?

71 replies

SabrinaSpellmann · 16/05/2019 17:31

So I take DS (7) to swim lessons every Thursday, this happened a few weeks ago. We were getting changed and DS noticed another boy had the same towel as him (light blue with green outline), he and the boy were nothing saying how it was their idea to get that type of towel first. I saw another kid standing near them both with the same towel who said “No it was my idea.” DS and other boy asked me who I thought had the idea first and I said “I think it was her idea.” Nodding to the 3rd child.

Third child shouted “I’m a HE!” I apologised and he went back over to his mum, told her (I’m assuming) as she gave me a dirty look. The other kids and parents heard so I was a quite embarrassed.

What’s worse it was the boy’s changing room so I did look very daft! Though parents bring siblings along and into the opposite sex’s changing room to get changed. The little boy had long, red curly hair, soft features - something just clicked in my head that said ‘girl’, I barely thought about it.

I thought that would be the end of it, but no. Weeks on said little boy has been coming over to us and stating that “I’m a he.”, “I’m a boy, you know.”, “You know I’m a boy, right?”, “Why did you think I’m a girl?” I’m confirmed that yes I know he’s a boy and that it was just a moment of confusion on my part.

I didn’t think very much of it but he sounds quite cheeky and then he either stands there staring before going over to his mum or he’s been saying the same to the other boys along with comments of “How is she so stupid?” While glaring at me. Mum has heard the comments and said nothing, other parents just repeat to the boy/their children that it was an accident.

How would you all handle this? It’s making the atmosphere more than just a little bit uncomfortable! Hmm

OP posts:
BanginChoons · 16/05/2019 19:10

I'd be quite clear "It's not an insult you know"

Yep, this is the way to go.

KC225 · 16/05/2019 19:14

I would ignore him. And his mother nut case saying that to you?

Fucket · 16/05/2019 19:16

I’d be tempted to say, “it’s not my fault you look like little orphan Annie.”

usernameuser · 16/05/2019 19:17

I’d be tempted to say, “it’s not my fault you look like little orphan Annie.

😂🤣😂

slipperywhensparticus · 16/05/2019 19:24

I got into trouble for telling a random child not to be so rude I thought it was mine being rude 🤷‍♀️ excuse me that's MY CHILD your talking too my sleep deprivation took over I said I'm so sorry looked at the child and said DONT TALK TO STRANGERS my daughter pissed herself laughing 🤦‍♀️

Cornettoninja · 16/05/2019 19:28

His mum is really cementing the issue isn’t she? It really doesn’t matter enough for her to be such a twat about it. She should be putting that energy into teaching her son a bit of resilience. I feel for your son having to put up with that too.

I like the elephant retort.

Deadringer · 16/05/2019 19:31

The replies on here have made me laugh so much!

GruciusMalfoy · 16/05/2019 19:37

He sounds like a little pain in the arse. I think the next time he starts, especially if he's being rude, I'd give him a curt reply, "That's quite enough now".

Chippychipsforme · 16/05/2019 19:45

Ask him what's wrong with being a girl?

Rude child.

Bwekfusth · 16/05/2019 19:46

Ignore it, seems a bit much tbh if I were the mother I'd have pulled the kid up on it, whiney shit. I was mistaken for a boy many times, once at about 10 years old I was struggling with a shopping trolley and crashed it in to the fruit and veg stand in Asda, on old woman walked past, nodded to my mum and said "typical male" mum just laughed and said "I know" while I stood snortling in to my giant manly hand. To be fair I did have a penchant for boys tracksuits at the time but my arse length hair should have been a giveaway. I like to think I've blossomed since.

thankyourforthemusic · 16/05/2019 19:48

It's bizarre how he's carried it on , most 7 year olds wouldn't care . His mum must of been the one offended and carried on telling her dh & friends that some ransom woman called my ds a she , all within earshot of the little brat . If that wasn't the case she would if said by now that's enough.
Next time he makes a comment just say firmly that's enough now with a mum stare they you would give your own dc .

NCforthis2019 · 16/05/2019 19:49

He’s a child - you are an adult so you just ignore him. You’ve said it was a mistake - move on.

SimonJT · 16/05/2019 19:55

My son regularly gets mistaken for a girl, he has longish hair and likes dolls, no big deal if someone calls him a girl, but he will often say something along the lines of “no I’m a boy”. If he was rude in his reply someone he would be put right very very quickly.

YemenRoadYemen · 16/05/2019 20:41

@Bwekfusth GrinGrin

Brefugee · 17/05/2019 08:37

Sounds more like it happens a lot and the mum, for some reason, thinks the word "girl" is an insult. It's how it is, if your boy has a hairstyle that is mostly associated with girls, it's bound to happen.

I like the firm approach "yes, I've apologised about that already. Stop bringing it up."

I am firmly against changing the subject "nice trunks" or whatever because children have to learn not to be rude and he's obviously not getting that from his parent.

Marmablade · 17/05/2019 10:54

If he says it again say 'I am sorry I made a mistake. Have you ever made a mistake and got something wrong?' Not in an arsey way but in a curious way. He might take the hint that he's not perfect either.

LetheBiscuit · 17/05/2019 11:13

Sounds like son and mum have some real issues about this. Maybe ask why they think it's so insulting and humiliating to be a girl!!!

DidIMissSomething · 17/05/2019 11:26

Whilst I agree he is a bit rude I can't believe the lack of empathy most of you are showing towards a child. He may well get this a lot and be feeling insecure about himself - some kids do even as young as seven. The bravado and rudeness really could just be his way of asserting his"maleness". You're the adult in this remember - even though his mum is being a bit hopeless he's just a kid without all of the coping mechanisms and resilience that comes with adulthood.

I'm not critisising you op - I just can't believe the pile on of other posters egging you on to be mean to a little boy. Really sad.Sad

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 17/05/2019 12:18

Even little boys need to learn manners. I always think - if they don’t learn then they will try it on with someone in the playground who will just punch them on the nose.

Bibijayne · 17/05/2019 12:21

At that age, it's really hard to tell the difference between girls and boys. An easy enough mistake. His mum should be telling him to drop it. I suspect her overreaction is rubbing off on him as PPs said.

Bibijayne · 17/05/2019 12:23

@DidIMissSomething - agree. I think it's a mum to mum conversation.

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