Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I be honest what I think about this name

302 replies

Driftingthoughlife · 16/05/2019 17:21

With everything going on with DH (previous thread) I may be potentially be about to fall out with my best mate if I tell the truth
She is pregnant due in a month and she has texted me to ask what I think of the name they have chosen. I think it’s awful. She says she really values my opinion
I don’t know if I can take falling out at the moment so aibu to lie and say it’s lovely but at the same time in am thinking this poor kid has to live with this name

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 17/05/2019 03:32

Say it a few times fast Girl.

MrsFoxPlus4 · 17/05/2019 03:41

Say it a few times fast Girl.

Oh god I didn’t get it either untill now Shock

Mammyloveswine · 17/05/2019 03:57

Ffs im a teacher and actually children rarely get teased about their name.... the elephant reference is old-fashioned and won't be relevant to this generation as its hardly a common song these days.

I think its fine, dont love it but would reply "its a lovely name!" Eleanor Ann is beautiful so you could ask if Nellie is short for it but given the hyphen i suspect not.

I told someone our two boys names when pregnant (Gabriel or Elijah) and they replied "they're fucking awful". I was gutted and angry as it felt like an attack on my child.

Justbe polite then if she brings it up again in person you could be honest to her face if she's not sold on the name.

CrumpetyTea · 17/05/2019 04:05

I actually like Nelly ( not sure about her spelling) - hypehenated with Ann its a bit naff . Do you know what she loves about it? I'd be tempted just to say " I think its lovely- is the official version going to be.. Eleanor Ann/Helena Ann " " Its really lovely- but you know I prefer old-fashioned/full names as it gives more options"

I wouldn't have taken offence of someone had hated my name choices but it would have gnawed away at me .
One of my closest names called her children names I really don't like - we had discussed names previously and I thought we had similar tastes (oldfashioned "proper" names) so when she chose names that didn't fit this I was really shocked- I think I expressed some surprise but never commented on the actual names (even though she would have been able to guess ) I just think making it explicit is a bit mean once its a done deal.

malificent7 · 17/05/2019 04:17

Im not into all the cutsie sounding girl's names like Nellie, Millie etc.Sounds too girlie/ frilly.
Give me a Zara, Katherine, Audrey, Mabel or Beverly...

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/05/2019 04:39

I remember telling someone that I wasn't keen on their baby name choice - explained why - but she just said "well I love that name and that's what she'll be" and she was. I don't mind it so much now, not that I matter in the slightest, and we are still friends.

But I do think it's a kindness to at least ask if she's thought through the potential repercussions of the name.

Another friend had 2 possible names lined up for her DD (Asian names) - one rhymed with wanker and the other started with Prat. We told her, so that she would know, and could pick the one she felt would be the least problematic. But, like your friend, she ASKED us - in her case, as she wasn't sure how the names would come across in the UK.

The thing is that you can't rubbish the name because it might be for your friend's much loved grandmas or similar.
It's a bad combination though, I have to say. :(

Nancydrawn · 17/05/2019 05:29

What about suggesting she name the kid Nell Anne Smith or Eleanor Anne Smith (no hyphen, more formal name), and then she can call her Nellie-Ann all she likes.

You can go with the 'more formal for professional settings' line.

I'm not a fan of nicknames as given names, myself.

crispysausagerolls · 17/05/2019 07:00

Children can make fun of any name, no matter how boring, that’s not a reason.

angieloumc · 17/05/2019 07:11

Furnitureville and ZippyBungleandGeorge, the mother in laws name apparently 😂

Ihatehashtags · 17/05/2019 07:44

That is a terrible name. Double barelled names are always terrible!! Nel is vaguely okayish.

AhoyDelBoy · 17/05/2019 10:21

What an awful name! Of all the beautiful girls names possible she likes ‘Nellie-Ann’ Confused. Maybe she is joking like a PP suggested.. I don’t like my name but I’m sure as hell glad it’s not in the ‘Nellie-Ann’ category of just plain awful (think Emma/Anna). I knew a girl called Kellie-Ann and she HATED her name.

CherubCloud · 17/05/2019 10:27

Suggest she drops the hyphen.

Nellie is a sweet name. Nothing to dislike about. It may not be to your choice but we are all different and it is not an offensive or difficult name for a child to live with.

JemimaPDuck · 17/05/2019 10:29

My parents gave me a double barrelled name. It’s really dreadful and chavvy!! I hate it. Thankfully no one knows and the only person who still uses it is an old auntie. It makes me cringe!!

ALittleBitofVitriol · 17/05/2019 11:07

The name is not that bad. I wouldn't say anything rude. I'd just say truthfully that it's not your style.

Some of the comments here are unhinged. Nellie was in the top 30 names in the early 20thC. Along with Mabel and Emily and Ada. If anything, she's right on style with current trends.

LetheBiscuit · 17/05/2019 11:26

I'd say if it isn't your cup of tea, but is a reasonably common name and the child will be ok, say it's nice.

If it's truly awful and "unique", maybe sympathetically express that it sounds nice etc but maybe would make life harder for the child?

Kazar99 · 17/05/2019 11:31

Could you say that it sounds very like Leanne (or even Lee-Anne if she is desperate for a hyphen!) when said quickly and maybe that would be nicer because kids can be cruel and Nelly the Elephant is the first thing you thought of when you heard the name Nellie?

FannyWork · 17/05/2019 11:32

In fairness if Nellies get called Smelly Nellie then so will Ellies and there’s thousands of them.

amusedbush · 17/05/2019 11:53

I think Nellie-Ann is bloody awful. I'd go for "it's not to my taste but if you love it, go for it".

motheroffourcats · 17/05/2019 13:02

Point out to her that a woman from TOWIE (Billie Faiers) has named her daughter that so you could say 'oh it is the same as Billie from Towie'. Depending on whether your friend is a TOWIE fan she might be enthused or horrified.

diddl · 17/05/2019 13:58

I don't like Nellie-Ann at all.

Don't mind Nellie.

mumda · 17/05/2019 17:25

IS it Cavan?

Zakana · 17/05/2019 17:37

Ann is my name and I’ve always hated it! As for the double barrelled Nellie-Ann, I’m not keen but each to their own, Nell would be better. As it’s highly personal, just smile and nod, it’s her choice!

ToniHargis · 17/05/2019 17:39

Given that she's told you the name, just say something like "It's not really any of my business", and hope that she gets the message that you don't want to give her feedback.
If she insists, then perhaps - Some people might find it strange/old fashioned (or whatever) - then it's more about how the name will be perceived than what you personally think of it.

CauliflowerBalti · 17/05/2019 17:42

I’d say ‘I love Nellie! Really lovely name - and Nell is a really strong abbreviation if she feels that way later on. I’m not so keen on it hyphenated with Ann though - I’d just have Eleanor Anne (of Green Gables! Oh! Yes!) but it’s up to you guys. Whatever - Nellie is lovely.’

That’s what I think so it’s exactly what I’d say. If she’s your best friend she’ll survive.

nannygoat50 · 17/05/2019 17:42

I do t think it’s that bad. Heard much worse and some of the suggestions were hilarious😂. I’d say hmm it’s unusual but if you like it go for it . Or I’d have a few you like and see which she looks like when she’s born. I know people who have gone for something completely different to chosen name when they saw baby