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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I be honest what I think about this name

302 replies

Driftingthoughlife · 16/05/2019 17:21

With everything going on with DH (previous thread) I may be potentially be about to fall out with my best mate if I tell the truth
She is pregnant due in a month and she has texted me to ask what I think of the name they have chosen. I think it’s awful. She says she really values my opinion
I don’t know if I can take falling out at the moment so aibu to lie and say it’s lovely but at the same time in am thinking this poor kid has to live with this name

OP posts:
Devora13 · 17/05/2019 23:41

'Ah yes, Nellie being short for Ellen or Eleanor! Will you be registering her as Eleanor Ann and calling her Nellie as a family/nickname?'
My friend has a daughter who gets called Nellie Noo Noo by the way.

1forAll74 · 18/05/2019 00:46

For goodness sake, if someone chooses a name for their child, just let it be. what does it matter what anyone else thinks.. I can't understand why people ask others about a new child's name. Very perplexed,why do people do this..

dysongirl · 18/05/2019 00:58

Nelly where I'm from is slang for vagina lol
Nelly Ann is a bit too little house on the prairie Wink

Elaine1985 · 18/05/2019 08:15

I would be perfectly honest, that’s no about what other kids would end up calling her in school.

As an aside, back in school I had a friend who used to refer to her boobs as her ‘nellies’ WinkGrin

Driftingthoughlife · 18/05/2019 08:32

I am still here. I suggested putting a fuller version of the name on the birth certificate and she is going to go for Helena and she herself has decided to drop the Ann

OP posts:
RaffertyFair · 18/05/2019 08:34

Excellent up date! Well done Drifting

Divgirl2 · 18/05/2019 09:03

Oh thank god. Another win for honesty!

mathanxiety · 18/05/2019 09:06

Nice.

TheDarkPassenger · 18/05/2019 09:36

I have an aunt nellie. It’s Eleanor though. I love it.

Not the Ann bit but I suspect she’s already made her mind up so I wouldn’t say anything!

TheDarkPassenger · 18/05/2019 09:38

Just read your update sorry!!

That is much nicer although I’m not a fan of Helena, but I like full names I’m not really into nickname firstnames.
Winner winner x

XiCi · 18/05/2019 09:41

Helena is awful. Much prefer Nellie.

You should have kept your nose out. Absolutely none of your business what your friend calls her child

Driftingthoughlife · 18/05/2019 09:43

No it’s none of my business unless my friend asks me and wants my full honest opinion

OP posts:
RaffertyFair · 18/05/2019 09:51

You should have kept your nose out.

Eh? Her friend asked her opinion. Ignoring the question would be weird and to say "it's none of my business" would leave her friend forever wondering.

OP clearly went for the gentle, but honest approach. And the child can happily be called Nellie if she wants.

HeronLanyon · 18/05/2019 09:55

Well navigated op.
I like Helena - lots of nn potential in addition to Nellie

scubadive · 18/05/2019 10:06

@XiCi you sound lovely.

For balance I think Nellie is awful and Helena is lovely, much classier. It will also avoid smellie Nellie at school which would be terrible for a child. I wouldn’t inflict that on any child growing up and parents who choose names solely because they like how it sounds without thinking from the child’s perspective how it will be for them growing up are very self focused.

XiCi · 18/05/2019 10:14

Thank you scubadive I am lovely Grin

Motherontheedge1 · 18/05/2019 11:24

Really dislike hyphenated names but that’s just a personal thing. Cannot think why your friend can’t see a problem with Nellie and where that might end up. I liked Tim for a boy but when my sister said ‘Tim. Nice but dim’ that ruled it out for me immediately. You might have to help your friend see the potential problems.

Jojofjo44 · 18/05/2019 12:35

XiCi why is Helena awful? What would you call her?
OP well manoeuvred. Helena is a great name. (We have a Helena Luna)

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 18/05/2019 12:43

I like ‘hell-ay-nah’ (Kennedy) but not ‘hell-in-a’(handcart)

anothernotherone · 18/05/2019 12:50

I'd say hell-un-ah LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD not ay or in. I've only heard Germans say hell-ayn-ah, I've never heard of Helena Kennedy.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 18/05/2019 13:05

You obviously aren’t Scottish! Baroness Kennedy, QC, etc... always on the news when I was a kid.

lifetothefull · 18/05/2019 16:54

Before baby is born while name is a possibility, you can be honest in a kind way if she has actually asked your opinion. After baby born and that is actually their name - say'aaahh, that's lovely'.

Proseccoinamug · 18/05/2019 17:01

Dd is Nellie. No issues whatsoever with it. I personally don’t want to saddle a child with ‘known as’ name and a different one on the birth cert.

8Wina4 · 18/05/2019 17:32

This is the whole reason I kept my daughter’s name a secret until she was born. I loved her name and didn’t want anyone else’s opinion giving me doubts about whether to use it or not.
My siblings have all given their children (lovely) traditional names, and our chosen name is rather less frequently used (Eden) so it did raise a few eyebrows, but everyone soon loved it and it suits her perfectly.
I think if you’re confident enough in your choice, you shouldn’t need anyone else’s opinion on the matter. If she was dead set on using Nellie-Ann, she wouldn’t be asking and therefore I suggest you’re honest - but delicately.

hellsbellsmelons · 20/05/2019 08:40

That's a much nicer name.
Win win